The Amazing Life of Samuel Vanity

adoption day(eww)

I woke up to my stomach hurting badly. I got out of bed and pulled my shirt up. I winced just looking at the balck,blue and purple mess on my stomach. my ribs were probably bruised too. at least this time I can hide the bruised mess. last time I had cuts and bruises all over my arms.

  after taking a freezing cold shower, I went to my closet and got out a tattered, old black veil brides shirt. I pulled on a pair of black jeans with manmade rips on the shin part. I pulled on my vans. by that time, my black and red hair was dry do I could tease it. I picked up my backpack, and went to the woods again. I usually went here during adoption day, because nobody adopted me! I didn't mind really. the woods were basically right behind the orphanage, so if someone yelled my name, i could hear. " Samuel, there is someone that wants to adopt you!" a fake cheerful voice met my ears. I got up and Opened my door. "my name is sam. not Samuel." I said sarcastically. I went d

downstairs and opened the creaky door. there was 1 guy. one had very colorful hair, that was teased, and he was playing on his iPhone. "stupid flappybird!" he yelled. I closed the door, then opened it again. this time he looked up. "is this an April fools joke because if it is, I would like to go back to my room." I said confused. you would never believe who was sitting there. dahvie freaking vanity. "uhh, no. not a joke. are you Samuel?" he asked. "it's Sam" I said suspiciously sitting down. "oh good, cause not effense, but Samuel is a horrible name." he said chuckling. "so why would you want to adopt me?" I asked confused. "oh, I thought jayy and I would want a kid around. well not a kid, but like someone to make things more happy, and stuff. like your file thing, god i hate those, but your file said you were very sarcastic, and funny, and yeah. you look cool too. " he finished. "oh. well did my file say I was gay?" I asked raising an eyebrow. "yea it did, and I don't Care. uhh since I want to adopt you, where do I go?" he asked looking embarrassed. "you go to the front?" I said. "man  you are sarcastic. well I'm going to adopt you, and we are going to have a party!" he yelled. "wow, you are really loud." I say standing up and leading him to the front." wow someone is actually going to adopt the satanic emo?" someone said. I turned on my heels. "why yes someone is, and then we are going to kidnap you and do satanic spells on you since we're so satanic." I said sarcastically. I heard hysterical laughs from behind me and I turned around. dahvie was on the ground laughing. I walked up to him. "do you still wanna adopt me?' I asked. "dude, if anything, that made me want to adopt you more!" he said still laughing. we walked up to the front and he went through the process while I went up to my room and packed all my crap. I walked back downstairs and dahvie was still doing papers and stuff.

I set my stuff down and walked back to the woods. After a few minutes of saying goodbye to my dear freinds called trees, I went back inside. I saw dahvie with my stuff. I smile and looked back at the forest.  I turned around and got in dahvies Toyota. "what were you waving at?" he asked. "trees." is all I said. I looked at him. " your a weird kid. I like you." he smiled looking back at the road. after about 10 more minutes of driving, dahvie pulled into a driveway that leaf to a huge house. i cannot stress how huge the house was. "welcome home Sam!" dahvie yelled while getting out my suitcase from the trunk. "this isn't a house, it's a mansion!" I said hopping out of the front seat. he just chuckled and opened the front door. "JAYY!!GET DOWN HERE!" dahvie yelled up the stairs. "WHAT DO YOU WANT!ITS FRIDAY AND 12:00 - nevermind what's up?" jayy asked coming down the stairs in a pair of black and white skinny jeans, and black t-shirt. "jayy this is Sam,Sam this is jayy." dahvie said. "oh thank the heavens you didn't call me Samuel!" I yelled. " I like him already! he's sarcastic." jayy said smiling. "oh he's sarcastic, funny, and has a great sense of style!" dahvie said jerking his thumb towards me. "oh! and he's gay!" dahvie yelled the last part. I face palmed myself then glared at dahvie." what?! he had to find out at some point!" he explained. "true." I said pointing at him. "anyway, I'm gay too, so gays are welcomed!" jayy exclaimed. my face heated up in embarassment. "thanks?" I said, it was more like a statement. "dahvie, give him a tour of they house!" jayy said. "no that's your job!" dahvie argued back to jayy. "ok. come on Sam, we can put your stuff in your room first. jayy marched up the stairs, me following behind. he walked down the hall to a black door. "this is your room. do you like it?" he asked opening the door. I walked in to find blood red walls. beautiful. my favorite color too. I looked around and found a small walk in closet. then there was a full size bed by a window that had black sheets. beside that was a regular dark cherryeood desk, with a laptop on it. "wow." was all I said. " uhh, you can put posters up and pick out a comforter tommorow. now for the rest of the house" he said and smiled. in front of my bedroom was a white door with fake blood dropping down it. "what is that?" I asked giggling at the door. "oh, that's the bathroom. dahvie insisted we do that to scare guests." he said smiling at me. "sounds like dahvie" I whispered. "this is my room," he said pointing to a bright red door." and that's a guest room," he pointed to a regular white door" now for downstairs. he ran down the stairs ehile I walked down carefully. "this is the living room, "he said while walking through the living room" this is where we usually hang out and watch tv." he said. "thank you captain obvious." I whispered."what?". "what?" I asked mimiced him. "next is the kitchen, where dahvie always has food. he literally always keeps the pantry stocked full of candy, Oreos, and sugary things." he pointed to a door that ked to the pantry. he opened the door. a whole flipping shelf. a. whole.shelf.of.Oreos. I stood there and stared before jayy closed the door. "then there's dahvies room" he pointed to a neon green door. " and last but not least, the recording area, otherwise known as the garage!" he punted to a hot pink door." pink?" I asked."dahvie did it!" he accused. I laughed hysterically. "thank you for the tour" I said and started walking back to my room. "hey, wait. we're ordering pizza for dinner. what's your favorite kind of pizza?" he asked. "I don't know.." I trailed off. " I haven't ever eaten pizza." I said, my face turning red. he sarcastically gasped and beat on dahvies door." what do you want?" I heard dahvies muffled voice. " we have to go get pizza now! he has never had pizza.EVER!" jayy yelled. i was very confused. at that second, dahvie opened his door and gasped. "come on! he might die if we don't give him pizza!" dahvie screaMed running to the car. "I'm confused." I stated. "we now have to feed you pizza!" jayy said pulling on his shoes and holding the door open for me. "uhh thanks." I studdered.

"come on! hurry up! my phones about to die!" dahvie yelled. "why do you have to video tape me eating my first price of pizza?" I asked. "its not like this video is going anywhere!" ." I'm doing this so we can put it on tape and put it in a little book and all that!" dahvie cheered." you do that for babies dahvie." I said sarcastically.

"oh, well hurry up!" he yelled. "fine." I put the cheesy substance in my mouth, and chewed.  "what?!" jayy and dahvie yelled together. "its nasty. how can you eat this??" I asked pointing to the pizza. "what happend to you, you poor boy!" dahvie yelled."just kidding!" I said said smiling.

"you had me there for a second." jayy said. "hey Sam, do you have a phone?" dahvie asked knocking me out of my thinking."what? oh no." I said simply looking down. "well after this we can go by the at&t store and get you one." he said. "um, when will I start my new school?" I asked. they lived in a totally different area, so I didn't have to go to my old school anymore THANK THE LORD!! I was getting tired of daily swirlies."oh, uh, I guess we can go by tomorrow, if you want to go to school that bad." jayy said. "uhh, if it's ok with y'all, can I take a week off, then I can go get tortured more?" I asked looking up. "oh yea! if you want, since warped tour is in like 2 weeks, you can just wait 3 months then go back." dahvie said. "really?!" this has to be a dream. like I'm serious."it's not a dream, 100% real." dahvie said smiling. "did I just say that out loud?" I asked, redness creeping onto my cheeks. "yep, you did!" jay said. "hey let's go to the at&t store real quick then we can go home." dahvie said checking the time. "ok." we got up and left for dahvies car.

   "what color Sam?" dahvie asked, holding out 4 different colored I phones: black,green,blue, or pink. "Uhh, pink!" I yelled. yea I'm gay, yea I like pink. watcha gonna do about it!? just kidding. after paying for my new phone, and setting it up, we went home. I am soo tired! after driving for 10 minutes, I closed my eyes and drifted off into darkness.

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so my 3rd chapter!:) thank you to those reading.

oh and sam is satanic. he was being sarcastic. just getting that over with.