Young & Inlove // Tom Holland

21 //6:00 AM

6:30 AM is what the clock reads. I had been fine since 4, but now I was starting to feel the sleep deprivation again.

"Now what?" I ask.

"I don't know," Tom admits, "Call it a night?" He leans back and rests his head on his seat, as I am. His eyes are closed and for a moment I just get to see him at peace. Every other time I've been around him he has been alive and full of energy. I figured that he'd never run out. I didn't even think it was possible for him to get tired. But looking at him then, I realized he is just like anyone else. He is passionate, yes, but at the same time he is exhausted. His youth shines through when his eyes are closed. His eyes and mouth look less tense, as if he can finally forget all of his business. And as the sun starts to flick in through cracks in the windows, his face is illuminated with yellow specks. He opens his eyes once more. And his dark eyes narrow. The look glassy and a little red.

"What? You tired?" I ask. His smile slowly grows onto his face again, lightening his features, "Are you just going to bail on me now?" He sits up and rubs his eyes and adjusts his now messy hair. It's pretty cute. His curls are flipped in every which direction. I hadn't even realized how long his hair was until then. Taking one last glance over at me he sighs then starts backing out, "Where are we going?" Tom points at the clock in his car.

"It's sunrise." And so we ride.

When we arrived at the beach it was empty. I don't know if I had ever gone to this beach before. I missed the name of it on the sign on the way in. As we pull in, Tom and I are greeted by the chilly air of October once again. We make our way down to the beach, which seems to be quite rocky. The air is misty and a light fog settles over the glassy blue water. It's dark and hiding all of it's many creatures and secrets. Tom's eyes don't meet mine as we walk down to the beach, instead he says a few feet ahead of me, slugging his body quickly to the water. I watch his back and how in his light blue shirt, it hugs him tight. I see small goosebumps on his arms.

When we make it down to the water, I force myself to stop staring. The sky is cloud-filled and welcomes a bright white light.

"It's beautiful," I breathe out. My vocal cords suddenly seem tense and tighter. Maybe it was the weather. I see Tom look back at me and simply nod.

"I love the ocean," He says after looking back out at it.

"Do you get to visit it much?" I ask, stepping forward so we are next to each other.

"Sometimes. I'm not always busy you know," I smile over at him, but his eyes are just dancing over the light waves. That water was so calm, yet every slight movement Tom seemed to capture notice of, "Speaking of which, time check?" He asks. I reach in my back pocket and grab my phone out.

"6:47" I read. I also see a whole thread of messages and missed phone calls from Jared and Tammy. I ignore them now, trying to forget all of my responsibilities I'll soon have to face. This all-nighter has put me in a weird mood. I feel calmer and less stressed. Tom just nods and looks back out at the water. Then, as if the thought had took a smack at his head, he starts taking his shoes off. Then his socks. I stare at him for a moment, not processing exactly what he was doing. Then, rolling up the bottom of his jeans, he dips his feet in the water. I see a shiver go through his body.

"Shit, that's cold," He mumbles. He watches his feet for a while. He digs them into the sand, slowly sloshes water around and pokes at things. I watch him. But then his attention is turned to me, "Wanna get in?"

"No, I think I'll pass," He doesn't accept this answer. He gives me a glare.

"Come on, it's not bad," He starts to move toward me and reaches his arms out. By now the sun was rising more, and the sky was turning into a pink pattern. Tom's arms looked dark and mysterious, giving me even more reasons to be tempted to give in and take them.

"I get cold easily," I try to come up with an excuse.

"Yeah, yeah. Get in," He is in front of me now. The sky has started to turn into a red pigment. It's absolutely breathless. And yet I was focusing on the boy who was in front of me. The boy that, the tips of his brown hair fuzzed and got blown around in the wind, now looked red. The boy with a shadowed face, that seems to have a small line of freckles on them that I'd never noticed before. The boy with the face that fascinates me so much: How he looks like a kid sometimes but like a serious business man the next. I couldn't help imagine what he saw when he looked at me. I'll be honest, this isn't just because I am hard on myself, but I'm not the most attractive person. With my big nose, and wide face, they take the attention away from my soft green eyes and chubby lips. Not to mention how pale I am. I couldn't imagine Tom looking back at me with the same fascination that I had looking at him. But this was only a matter of seconds. Only a matter of a few calm icy breaths and blinks of an eye. I look down at his extended arms once more then meet his eyes. I give in and take my shoes off. I see him lean back and look pleased with himself. His smile is crooked and playful. And with one last glance at the sky, then him, I step into the icy october water.