Amour

CATHARSIS

"What are you doing, Sev-" Hermione asked bewildered as Snape started wrenching off all the plugs and needles from his body and made to get up. Madam Pomfrey entered, saw what was happening and came running,"Hey! You can't leave now. You need rest. Put your arm in a sling-" But Snape looked like he couldn't even hear. He jumped off the bed, swayed slightly, prompting Hermione to put a hand on his chest, ready to push him back down as she looked up at him, unsure. But he was determined. He took hold of her hand firmly and disregarding Pomfrey's every protest, they made for the door, while the other injured patients looked on. Due to his injury, his usual fast pace was slower and he didn't like the prospect of facing people at the moment, so he disapparated them directly to his chambers. Not Dumbledore's chambers, but their old one, where everything had started. And before Hermione could fully understand what was happening, his lips were on hers. He pressed her against the door and kissed her wildly. After such a long time, it felt so new, yet it was the most familiar feeling; it felt so good and so perfect. When they broke the kiss, both were breathing hard. He still held her face, caressing her swollen lips with his thumb and looked into her eyes. "I've never been the most orthodoxly religious man but I'll lie prostrate in front of every God to show how grateful I am that you are alive."he said, and Hermione could see the tears in his eyes. She kissed his palms and said,"I thought I lost you too...if it wasn't for Fawkes...and I guess, the potion I made also helped. It was sort of an antidote." Snape looked like he remembered something,"Oh yeah, I had some of that before the battle." "You did?"Hermione was confused. "Yes. I had to hide the memory vial in your book so I didn't have any other place to keep your potion. I was in a hurry, so I drank it and put the pendant around my neck. I read the verse you wrote, 'So long lives this and this gives life to thee'. I assumed there was a pun intended."Snape said while reaching into his coat and pulling out the chain,"I believe this belongs to you?" Hermione took it with a smile and wore it, glad that he had gotten the double entendre and drunk the potion beforehand, otherwise everything might not have worked out the way it had. "I guess, I should say, thank you?"he asked, his lips curling. Hermione smirked,"Or maybe you could say, 'Good job, Ms.Granger. Ten points to Griffindor.'" Snape snorted a laugh; he had missed this- her humour, her charm, her lively nature. He hugged her to his chest, burying his face in her neck but she broke away after a while saying,"Um...Sev, your stubble is really pricking my skin." He hadn't really groomed himself well in the last few months and Hermione noticed that he had grown a shadow of a salt-and-peppery beard. He rubbed at it absent-mindedly, as if only realising it now but he couldn't still raise his right hand without grimacing, so Hermione offered,"Come on, I'll give you a shave." They went inside his bedroom, where Hermione brought out a new set of clothes for him and started running hot water in the sink. By the time she readied everything, she saw he could only so much as get out of his frock coat. So she helped him with his shirt and made him sit on a stool in front of the mirror in the bathroom. She foamed his cheeks and started working with the razor in silence. She observed Snape staring at her in a peculiar way, his eyes not digressing from her once. They were serious, the irises were, if possible darker, with passion and yearning. She then realised that he was looking at her in a way that he was afraid that if he blinked even once, she was going to vanish. "I can't emphasise it enough, but I'm really glad that I have you back."he said, when he understood that Hermione found his gaze odd. She sighed. He was already so possessive. And now after this war, he has become so very paranoid too. "I'm thankful too. It's really good to be back."she said. He stroked up her arm fondly and pulled up her sleeve to look at the skin underneath. He revealed the word 'Mudblood' scratched onto her forearm by Bellatrix and looked at it sadly. "I'm sorry...I'm so so sorry. I wish I could take this back."he remarked. Hermione shook her head looking at her feet,"I kinda got used to it...it doesn't hurt anymore." His jaw clenched as he tried to hide his anguish," You saying you're used to the pain, grieves me more than my physical pains." Hermione saw how despondent he looked and she didn't wanna add to his dysphoria. So she said,"Let's not talk about that anymore. It's all in the past now." He sighed heavily and just ran his fingers down her back, resting them finally on her hip and her hand nearly slipped. "Don't. Hold still, this is the tricky part."she scolded as she worked the blade up his throat, skimming away the last of his beard. While he wiped his face clean and drew the bath, Hermione hopped inside to take a quick shower, to get the dirt and grime off her. She came out wrapped in a towel to find Snape in the tub. He extended his hand towards her and after a moment's hesitation, she dropped the towel and got into the bath with him. He washed the wound on her arm and kissed it tenderly, running his tongue over it, wishing he could erase the brand. They smooched and just basked in the warmth of the water. She carefully rubbed bodywash around the affected area of his neck and massaged his shoulders, chest and arms. He closed his eyes in content and groaned. Hermione felt so gratified; it was so good that they could jump right back to where they had left off. Nothing had really changed............................................
Hermione was brushing through her hair to get them into shape, all the while looking at herself in the mirror of the bathroom, getting jittery over what would happen next. She heard Snape calling from the bedroom, so she popped her head around the door," Why are you shouting?" "Why are you so far?"he complained from the bed. She cocked her head, threw away the brush and crouched over to the bed, crawling over his body like a cat and kissed up his torso. He moaned in pleasure but he was impatient, so he pulled her up to meet her lips with his. "Now, better?"Hermione asked, pulling back to look at his face. "Best."he grinned like a joyful child. He rolled her over so that she was under him and started kissing and nibbling at her neck. A smile crept up her face as she re-experienced all those passions that they had left behind. He fondled her breasts very tenderly, kissing her nipples, leaving them wet and wanting. They both felt how lethargic their muscles had gotten after such a hard time and this was the requiescence. Later they laid back in bed and had the discussion on the Deathly hallows and how Hermione survived. "I was technically dead though, for some time...Dumbledore came to me in that trance-like state I was in."Hermione told him. "That's curious," he raised an eyebrow,"He came to me too. And talked weird shit." "Yeah. When I asked him whether it was real or just happening inside my head, he replied,'Of course it's happening inside your head, but why on earth does it mean that it's not real?'. Why can't the guy ever answer a question simply?"Hermione wondered exasperated. Snape snorted,"The old man had always been mental. Only he could've thought of such a plan as this." The room filled with their laughter. Then he looked at her," Did you miss me?" Hermione looked sideways at him," Is that even a question?" He was satisfied and just ran his fingertips gingerly over the burns and blisters all over her body. He noticed how thin she had become, with her ribs protruding out from under her porcelain skin which was black and blue from her many bruises. It was almost as bad as him and he used to think noone could go through what he had gone through. "You know, you're taking this more lightly than I would've expected,"he observed,"I mean, you practically walked up to face your death. By yourself. I cannot fathom what such a young girl like you would've felt. What was going through your mind at the time?" Hermione took some time before answering,"Well I accepted the inevitability of my death and I kinda locked all feelings away. Granted, that journey to the forest was nerve-wracking, to say the least- that's when I felt so terribly alone. That was the end and the snitch opened up for me then. The apparitions of all my deceased loved ones appeared before my eyes and promised to always be there with me- inside me. I got the strength from them, I suppose. That, and the prospect of seeing you again." Snape was quite so she asked,"What about you? You also presumed that you were going to die, I guess. What were your feelings?" Snape took no time in answering,"I was always stoic. And with you dead, I had no more reason to live. When the snake sunk it's teeth into me, I honestly didn't feel a thing- I was numb from the heartbreak." He made it sound so simple; but she had only known her fate for an hour, he had known his for months. She couldn't comprehend how anyone could live with that, without breaking. She pulled him into a hug. "You know, all this doesn't mean I'm not basically pissed off at you."Snape told her sternly,"How could you just decide to give up on yourself? How you always think about everyone but yourself, it just never occurs to me...If it was not for the hallows working out in your favour, then what? What were you thinking, doing something like that? I'm very angry on you and it's gonna come out now and then." Hermione agreed, stifling a smile, knowing that he was just kidding,"I know, I know." Snape had grown quite and looking up at the ceiling, when Hermione called,"Severus?" He turned towards her, his eyes lighting up, as he heard his name come out of her lips, that he had longed to hear for so long,"Yes?" She touched his lips with her fingers and said,"I love you." He kissed the tips saying," I love you too. I love you so so much." Sincerity oozed out of his words as he continued, "I thought I would never get to tell you this. I love that you made me believe again.Believe in miracles. Believe in love. I wasn't scared anymore; to fall in love. I knew that if I fell you'd catch me and hold onto me tight. You made me laugh when I thought I'd never smile again. You made me feel things I've never felt before, fixing my broken pieces with each kiss. Who knew losing myself in someone else would be such a good thing? With every glance I stole, with every word I said, I found myself more and more. You made me feel everything and nothing at all. The cheesy lines in books, the happy endings in movies, they're all starting to make sense now. Suddenly every love song is written about us, every romantic verse an ode in our honour. Happiness is synonymous with you. Every promise I made never to fall again, you broke with your mesmerising eyes. I love you because you made me fall in love with myself. And you made me fall in love with love- all over again." Hermione beamed and both had moisture in the corners of their eyes. She reeled with the feelings that arose with his words. How does he say such wonderful things? He has such a hard exterior that it is almost impossible to believe he could melt your heart like that in a jiffy. He is the artist, bent and battered into shape by life, who does random jobs to pay the bills but essentially he's a romantic at heart, who knows the true meaning of love. That's why I just smile when people ask me what I see in him. Cause if I explain Severus Snape to them and the reason for my love for him, then I'm afraid, they would fall in love with him too. She looked at him again and saw that he had fallen asleep, holding her close to him. She sighed, listening to his rhythmic breathing and looking at his impeccable face. He had finally succumbed to an inculpable and pristine slumber, knowing that all that he ever wanted was right there with him. The last time she saw him, he had looked as though he had aged a hundred years, burdened with all the worries in the world. But now that he was happy and contented, his face looked so youthful. She also noticed that his usual lean figure showed signs of slackening, whites peeped out through the jet black of his hair and his eyes were so deep set with dark circles around them that it looked like he hadn't had centuries of sleep, like a vampire. She knew that he had analysed and speculated so much and teamed up with his habit of overthinking, he must've lost countless sleepless nights on her. She ran soothing circles on his arm that draped her and traced the skin of his earlobe, tucking the hair behind his ear. Gradually, she fell into an exhausted sleep too; for the first time in forever, she slept without any worry or fear. This had been a therapeutic experience to relieve tension, re-establishing the association of the emotions with the memory of the event that first caused it, and then eliminating it by the technique of abreaction; they had finally gone through a catharsis.