Amour

THE STAG AND THE HEN (I)

Adrenaline rushed through Snape's body as he instinctively raised his wand; he didn't have time to figure out how in seven hells the dark lord could have resurrected but the only thought going through his head was: I have to protect my wife. He shielded Hermione and was about to utter the deadliest spell (not an unforgivable curse) he knew,"Rictuse-" But Hermione pushed his arm away and uttered a simple defensive spell that just blasted the three masked men off their feet. "Whoa whoa! Hermione, geez..." "Don't attack! It's just us!"they cried as they scrambled to get on their feet. Snape was perplexed but he still had his wand out and held Hermione back when she tried to go near them to check. They pulled off their disguises to reveal themselves as Harry, Ron and George. "I had an inkling that you guys maybe upto something stupid."Hermione shook her head and tucked her wand back in her belt. "We were trying to kidnap you for your stag night...it was George's idea."Ron said, clumsily folding up his cloak. George was grinning still, proud of his brain, even though their plan had fallen flat. Snape stared from one to the other,"Are you insane? I could've killed you!" "We were just messing with ya.."George shrugged,"So are you ready for the night of your life?" Snape looked at Hermione, unable to believe this was happening and his fiancée gave him a push to go on ahead. "We're going for a pub crawl."Harry informed. Ron had gained his enthusiasm back,"Stag night woo hoo!" "No, no 'stag night woo hoo'."Snape said authoritatively,"If you insist on doing this, I can oblige. But we're just gonna have a couple of drinks and come home. That's it." While the boys made groaning noises, Hermione pulled him aside to trace a finger down his chest and whisper,"So there will be no pole-dancers, or strippers and stuff?" Snape understood the slight tone of jealousy in her voice, underneath the casual inquiry. So he chuckled,"Definitely not. I promise." She smiled and they kissed. "Could you keep your hands off each-other for once? Come on, we're getting late. The others are on their way."George called already strolling down the road, Ron and Harry in tow. Snape gave Hermione one last longing look before he disapparated along with them.............................
"Isn't this a costume party?"Neville stood fully dressed as a cowboy. "Uh, no."Harry checked his friend out, top to bottom. Neville couldn't believe he had made a fool out of himself again,"But George said..." "Hey George! Did you tell Neville it was a costume party?"Harry shouted over Ron's guffaws. "Yup."George called back, glad that one part of his prank had worked. "Howdy."Snape smirked, taking one look at Neville when he came in front of him and understanding what had happened. Neville skulked into a seat crestfallen,"I should've known it's your stag night. So stupid of me..." Snape shook his head and sipped his beer, remembering this ex-student of his had always been prone to falling victim to jests. Slughorn, who was already slobbering his drink all over the table, held his paunch and laughed. "It's allright Mr.Longbottom. We're all having fun tonight."Flitwick chirped, his cheeks red and his legs dangling merrily. He looked liliputian next to Hagrid, who was gulping down rum from his patented tankard. They had chosen a bar away from the wizarding world because they didn't want the public or paparazzi swooping in. Bars stood witness to all kinds of weirdos, so noone gave them a second glance. The pub was crowded but they had claimed a corner and were enjoying their drinks and good conversation. "Shots!"George broke through the jostle of men and arrived at their table carrying a tray of tequila glasses. "What are you doing?"Snape drawled. "I thought it was pretty obvious- Shots."George was drunk enough to smart-talk his professor too. "I made it clear that I didn't wanna get drunk."Snape tried to say, but the others had already downed their glasses. He sighed and looked away only to notice Lupin standing at the door. He looked unsure whether to approach them or just turn back and leave. Snape understood that maybe he was having a hard time coping with his alcoholism. He got up and greeted him,"Remus. It's good of you to join us." "Thank you. And congratulations."Lupin shook his hand. He sat down and shrugged, opening a can. Snape eyed the drink but decided to say nothing; they were celebrating after all. Neville looked a little intimidated, not having expected to be sharing drinks with his professors. Snape understood his shyness and passed him a drink too when he uncorked the second bottle of sherry. Neville took it sheepishly, raising it like a toast. "So, what are you busy doing these days?"Snape asked conversationally. "I've started studying to take up the position of the Herbology apprentice at Hogwarts."Neville replied, wondering in his mind what it would be like to be colleagues with the feared professor in the near future. If ever Snape decided to join back, that is. "I remember Professor Sprout said you had a talent at Herbology. Good for you, Neville."Lupin remarked, already halfway through his third drink. "And how's...Tabitha?"Snape wasn't sure of the name but asked after a while anyway, thinking it was a way of distracting Lupin from drinking too much. "Ah, little Teddy....she's great. She walked her first steps yesterday." Snape saw that his trick had worked- Lupin had put down the glass and his eyes shone as he smiled in rememberance of the eccentricities of his daughter. The two men were happy in each other's joy and sat quitely contemplating, in gratitude for the women in their lives. Across the pub, a completely sloshed Ron was about to get into a fistfight with another burly drunk man. "I'm a wizard! I can turn you into a pig with a flick of my wand!"Ron threatened, barely able to stay on his feet. "It wouldn't make much of a difference though, if you ask me."Harry was equally tanked, and swayed where he stood. Snape intervened as the burly man said,"A wizard eh? Then I'm the King of England!" He threw a misdirected punch and Snape easily dodged, swinging out of the way. "We don't have a king, by the way. You brush up on your GK while you two come with me."Snape left the man to his own devices and pulled Ron and Harry away by their collars. A few paces away, George was trying to chat up a hooker to entertain them for the night. Snape grabbed him too, dragging him along, declaring,"Not going to happen." Neville was trying to prop up Hagrid who had passed out and kept leaning on him. Snape indicated him to help him get his inebriated comrades home. He made sure that Lupin, Flitwick and Slughorn were only a little tipsy and not too muddled to lose their ways back and the five of them exited the pub. It was rather late at night and they unsteadily made their way down the pavement, with Snape and Neville barely being able to keep the others off the street, who had also started to sing loudly now. Suddenly Snape realised his phone was buzzing. "Hello?"he answered but only heard a series of wheezing noises and sobs. "How...how could you do this? How dare you do this to me?"It was Hermione, her voice full of hurt and disgust. Snape thought he heard her wrong amidst all this din, although he hadn't had too much to drink,"I'm-I'm sorry?" "You promised. And still you....I could'nt believe it. But Ron sent me pictures. I- I hate you!" He heard the call being disconnected and stood listening to the beeps, unable to fathom what nightmare he was in. Neville saw the look on his face and asked,"Is everything allright, sir?" Snape could only stare back, dumbfounded.................................
They had immediately apparated back to Grimmauld Place, but Hermione wasn't anywhere to be seen. While the three boys were still muttering animatedly amongst themselves, the rest of the household was in a grim mood. "I honestly didn't expect this of you, Severus."Molly sat dejected at the dining table. "I don't understand what's going on...!"Snape felt wild with confusion and apprehension. "Apparently, she received certain pictures of you with a lady of questionable character, in some...compromising positions, earlier this evening."Arthur Weasley informed seriously,"She took one look at them and left." Ginny crossed her arms over her chest and with a furrowed brow accused Snape,"I can't believe you did this to her." "I- I didn't-"in vain he tried to ring Hermione's phone but she would not pick up. He couldn't fully register that something so bizarre was happening but there was no time to waste; he had to find her, he had to make her understand it was all lies, someone was setting him up, he would never break her heart like that! He threw floo-powder into the fireplace in all his haste and dissappeared en-route to Hogwarts. The mother-father-daughter trio exchanged grins in his wake.......................................
"Minerva, did you see Hermione by any chance?"Snape asked as soon as he materialised out of her fireplace. McGonagall almost dropped her quill with this sudden assault. "No- wait, weren't you supposed to be having your stag party tonight?" "Yeah, we were, but-"Snape didn't want to go into that since that was the cause of all this trouble,"Look I don't have time to explain. Just let me know if you hear any word of her." "I'll order a search of the whole castle if you want."McGonagall jumped into action realising he was quite concerned. Snape ran out, giving a trip to the astronomy tower on his way out too. He knew that was the place where she went to cope with her grief. But not tonight. He even went down to Hagrid's hut, thinking perhaps she had gone there to share her trepidation with her friend. But Hagrid's hut was bolted shut- it's occupant clearly not yet back from the pub. Snape came outside the gates and apparated straight to No.4 Private Drive. He knew that was the last place she'll visit but he couldn't dismiss it without checking once himself. He knocked on the door urgently, unable to stand composed. Thankfully the door was answered by Dudley, who stood gawking and fingers dripping with gravy- obviously halfway through snacking before dinner. "Sorry to disturb you this late, but has Hermione come here?"Snape asked, unable to mask the panic in his inquiry. "No."Dudley replied, after a while, getting over the shock of seeing Snape there,"Is everything okay?" Snape had known as much but his face visibly fell. "Yes..yes, everything's fine..."he stumbled out of their driveway, gripping his hair, unable to decide which way to go next. He just carried on straight ahead, thinking it was all the same, because if he had lost her then everything was pointless. All sorts of stuff came to his mind: There are only so many places she could go...but if she's sad and angry, she wouldn't care, she could've gone anywhere. Where can I find her? Does she really hate me? Why would she jump to such conclusions without even confronting me? She saw pictures. But nothing happened! What if George or somebody else drugged me, so that I did something unconsciously and later, forgot about it completely? Those devils think that this is funny, do they? He apparated back to Chatsworth castle, totally beaten and dragging his feet upto the door, leisurely pushing it open to get inside. He had his eyes turned to the floor and as soon as he turned to close the door, someone covered his eyes from behind and said in his ear,"Guess who?" He quickly removed the hands, recognising the familiar touch and fragrance already, but his mind still taking time to believe it as he whipped around to see Hermione smiling mischievously. She's here. I've been looking everywhere and she has been here all this time?! She laughed even more seeing his flabergasted expression. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry- God you looked so scared!"she said through giggles. "I-I was! Hermione...wha- what do you mean? What was this?"Snape breathed, relieved on one hand and disbelieving on the other. "It was just a joke! I was having a little fun of my own. Molly, Arthur and Ginny were in on it too."she explained, wrapping her hands around his shoulder. He guessed he would never get used to her unpredictable nature. She tried to kiss him but he pulled back. "Fun? I nearly had a heart attack! Gosh, Hermione-" But she made such 'puppy-dog' eyes that he obliged her with a kiss. It was a demanding one, as she had come to expect to receive from him; their tongues battling in their mouths. He bit down hard on her lower lip as a sort of punishment and she accepted it with a moan. "I have a surprise for you, in a way to make up for my prank."Hermione said after they broke the kiss and she pulled him by the hand to the dining room, where the table was full of different items. "Madam Granger made all this herself. She didn't let us go anywhere near the kitchen the whole evening."Mrs.Reynolds smiled as she opened all the cloches and left. Snape was pleasantly surprised as he sat down to eat,"You didn't have to do this-" "I may do anything to please my betrothed."Hermione quieted him,"That includes reminding him that he would be subjected to my horrendous cooking now and again." He stopped midway as he noticed a burn mark on her palm but she shook her head,"Ah, it's nothing. Seriously though, how's the food?" Snape shook his head at her bruise before saying,"Honestly, everything is exquisite. Thank you, Hermione." She was glad. "Except maybe the chocolate lava cake. I actually started off by making a souffle, but when it fell I panicked, so I wittily changed the name and voila- we have choco-lava cake!"she joked and they had a hearty laugh at that. As much as Snape enjoyed the meal and savoured every morsel of it, he couldn't wait to get into bed with his intended. Before the plates were cleared away, before they could even walk up the stairs, he hauled her up in his arms and carried her to one of the spare bedrooms, throwing her unceremoniously into the bed. He got out of his coat in a flash and leaned down on her to hungrily kiss her mouth, like he had been starving for days. She closed a hand over his fumbling fingers and instead pulled him down so that he was under her, urging him to calm himself. But his eyes were far from it- the fire in his stare felt like actual flames licking at her body as she slowly, tantalisingly unbuttoned her shirt and discarded it. He eagerly traced her lips and stroked his fingers down her throat to her breasts. His skin, hot from the vivacity earlier, seared into her flesh. She felt like she should be the generous one tonight, after making him go through all that. She reached down to relieve him of his pants and guided him under her skirt to her core. His mouth gaped slightly upon filling her and as she pushed him in deeper, his head fell back with a moan. She kissed and sucked at his throat, finally mashing their lips together again while moving in an agonisingly slow motion. She spasmed around him and fell exhausted on his heaving chest. He kissed the top of her head and laid her down beside him on the pillow, finally closing his eyes contented.

[Actually I wanted to put the bachelor and bachelorette party together in one chapter, but this is already quite long (I got carried away😉). So here is the first part- second part coming up...]