Searching For Sanctuary

23. The Call That Changed It All

(This is the last chapter)

I turned slowly to find Harry Styles standing in the doorway. His hands were shoved into his pockets and his posture was slightly hunched over. He looked over at me with hesitance, slightly nervous but very sad.

He got the phone call too.

I turned back to face Doc, placing my back to Harry. "He's in a coma," I deadpanned.

Harry's voice was soft when he said, "Yeah, I know."

"I don't have the money to keep him on life support."

"I know."

"You don't have the money to keep him on life support."

"I know."

"What do I do?"

"I don't know."

We lapsed into a silence. I didn't ask any more questions and he didn't have anything to say. He hovered in the door way while I stood at the foot of Doc's bed. It was just the three of us. Doc had no family, no one to fill the room. I was his family and he was mine.

"He was my family," my voice was barely above a whisper, "and now he's gone."

"I know."

"He's never coming back."

"I know."

I spun. "They said he overdosed on drugs. He didn't."

My gaze was locked on Harry's. His eyes were shining. One tear fell. "I know."

"I don't know what to do," I huffed, shaking my head as more tears fell. I waved my hands around. "What the fuck do I do?"

"You ju-"

I snapped, "I thought you didn't know."

He flinched at the harshness of my voice, but then his face was pitying. He knew. He knew that I was picking a fight just so I wouldn't have to think about Doc. I wanted a distraction. Picking a fight with Harry always did envelop me, block everything else as I focused on him and what retaliation he was going to fire.

He knew that I only snapped to hurt him so I wouldn't think of how much I was hurting.

"You're right," he whispered, "I don't know."

That didn't stop me from pushing the issue. No, I wasn't letting it go that easily. If I did, then I would have to revert back to thinking about how I was going to be the one to kill Doc because I would be the one to tell them to take him off life support. I couldn't think of that, not yet.

"Fat lot of good, you are," I hissed, "showing up here with nothing to say, nothing to do. Why are you here, hm?"

His eyes were on the floor as he mumbled, "I was the only other person on his emergency contact list."

"Yeah?" I shot, "So you feel obligated to come here. He doesn't need you. No one here needs you, Harry. Just leave."

He shook his head. "Don't give me that, Aisling. You need me more now than ever. I know that you're scared and you're sad and you don't know what to do. I get that, but don't try to push me away when you know that I'm the only person you have left."

My tears were hot and angry. I glared at him through glassy eyes. "No, you're not the only person I have left. Doc is still here. Alright? He is lying right there and he isn't going to move until I tell them to, so I still have him. He's here. And you know what? Even after I pull that Goddamn plug, I will still have him because he's never going to leave my side. Doc is still going to be right beside me, holding my hand as he shows me how to live in this world. He has always stayed by my side, and he always will."