Miss Matched

Chapter 18: I Want Him

 Chapter 18

I walk out quickly, grabbing a bottle of liquor on my way.

As soon as I am out of everyone's sight. I bolted straight on the beach unsure to where I'm going.

I tripped in the ground but I couldn't find the strength to stand anymore. 

I clutch my chest as I sat in the sand crying. It just hurts so much; I think if I could just yank my heart I would. I'll clearly do anything to not feel this pain

I look down at my dress which is now kinda wet 'cause my tears are uncontrollably escaping my eyes

I bit the liquor's cork open and let the alcohol calm my senses for me. The pain hasn't lessen, the tears didn't stop but at least now I'm not shaking and my cry was much more tamed than before

I sat there for a while trying to cover the pain with the beauty of the place in front of me

The night was a quite one. The moon and stars shine above brightly making the dark water sparkle. The ocean waves are calmly crashing on the beach thus producing a soothing sound but the night seem rather sad without the wind blowing it's cool breeze. 

It's not the same night I had with him...

A jolt of pain rushes through my chest making me flinch. I guess, I just have to live this...

After what felt like an hour, I stood up and decided to head towards the cabin. I'm afraid that someone would see me like this.. So weak, so vulnerable. I wouldn't want anyone to feel sad or pity me 'cause that would just hurt me more

I walk unsteadily towards the cabin for the alcohols already kicked in

I sat down on the sand and rested my head back on the tree near the cabin. I took another swig from the liquor bottle

I close my eyes trying to forget the pain and everything but completely failing at it as more tears stream down my face

A clank of bottles force my eyes open again. I look sideways trying to find where it came from. No one was here

*Clank

The sound came from the other side of the tree. I stood up wobbly and walk towards the other side of the tree

It felt like as if someone stabs me directly in the chest with a sharp cold knife upon seeing who my company was

I wanted to run away but my feet were completely planted in the ground. Zayn looks up with a pained expression

"What are you doing here?" I ask him rather concern

He smiled ironically at me but it can't hide the train of tears as it falls down from his lovely brown eyes, this hurted me like hell. I can tell that he's kinda drunk like me.

"I should be asking you that question..."

I sat down beside him though I know that if I do this I'd be hurting myself more but the thought of leaving Zayn alone with his own pain seems rather unbearable compared to my pain. I'd nurse my heart later. That's how much I love him

"What's your problem?" he asks in a rough voice. I bet he notice that like him, I'm crying my eyes out

I rested my head on the bark of the tree before answering "... Reality caught up with me. It slaps me so hard in the face..." I took another swig while another train of tears escapes my eyes "... What about you?"

"She left. The girl I love doesn't love me..." he chocked and sobs drowns out his voice

I wanted to hug him so badly, to give him comfort. This is the only thing that keeps me intact. I wanna be here for Zayn though it hurts so badly knowing he loves my best friend and not me