Secrets to Keep (Phan)

Chapter 19

This one is especially for Katie (TheInternetHomo) because she is awesome.

I came home that afternoon to find Dan laid back on the black couch with my laptop on his chest, his neck bent at an angle that couldn't have possibly been comfortable. I smiled softly to myself, and watched as he craned his head to look at me.

"Hey you." he said with a small smirk, shutting the laptop and setting it aside. I had honestly been debating whether or not to tell him the news of my newly found parent all day, caught between not wanting to worry him, and not wanting to keep anything from him.

Dan must've noticed the tension that had resided throughout my rigid body, and how I had yet to respond to his greeting. He patted the couch next to him, and I went and sat down, allowing him to lay his head in the crook of my shoulder while I played with his fingers.

"What's wrong?" he asked, turning his head and planting a lazy kiss on my jaw, which was beginning to get sore from being clenched. I tried to relax into his touch, but found it nearly impossible, with the news seemingly burning a hole through my chest.

"H-he came into the shop today... the boss...and..." I paused, feeling Dan's body tense slightly at the powerful man's mentioning. I didn't move, I didn't feel like I could move, like every muscle had been petrified beneath my skin, wrapping around my bones and ligaments like solid vines of rock. "He told me he was my dad." I finished quietly. Beside me, Dan didn't make a sound, and in my head I imagined him simply getting up, and walking out.

Maybe this would be the thing that would make Dan finally realize that I'm more trouble than I'm worth, and he'd be better off by himself.

We sat in silence for who knows how long, until I felt Dan's arms wrap around my midsection, and he crawled into my lap to give me a hug. Warmth spread throughout my body, like pouring hot water over an ice-cube, and I slowly relaxed into the embrace.

The smell of Linx men's shampoo resided faintly in his feathery hair that tickled my nose everytime he inhaled. While I sat normally on the black couch, Dan rested sideways on my lap, his long legs thrown over the remainder of the cushions while his torso twisted a little awkwardly to hug me. I could feel Dan's heart beating beneath his clothed chest, the warm skin pressed comfortably against my own. My arms found their way around the boy's waist, and I pulled him closer, nuzzling my face into the soft, grey fabric of his t-shirt.

"Did he even have any proof of it?" Dan questioned quietly, voice shattering the quiet, and shocking me a little.

"No, but his story matched up pretty well... and I'm kind of named after him." I murmured in response, before Dan nodded a little into my shoulder. "It's only my middle name though."

Dan pulled his head away from my shoulder and looked up at me. From this close proximity, I could see the little brown lines that made up his irises, all the interchanging colors of variously sugared coffee. His cheeks were kissed with faded clusters of freckles, the small darker marks dusting his tan skin like the soft speckles on a blooming flower petal.

"Sorry I'm shit at comforting, I don't really know what to say." Dan mumbled, and I felt myself smile a little.

"I think you did a pretty good job." I shrugged, watching as Dan stretched his neck up a bit to kiss me. I met him halfway and our lips brushed softly, the contact being enough to set off war-level explosions around me.

Dan rested his head against my chest, while I drew lazy circles on his clothed side. Just him being there was making me feel better, his simple presence calming my buzzing nerves.

Though even with Dan's comfort, I couldn't shake the memories of Michael's cold voice, scraping out words that chilled me to the bone.
"...you were my only son after all..."
"I wanted you to join the family business."
"You're named after me you know."