Secrets to Keep (Phan)

Chapter 20

Hello everyone, long time no see... I'm sorry.

He stuck to the shadows for the most part, just barely out of my line of sight, but I always knew when he was there; lurking. My knowledge of his presence sent an eery chill down my own spine, and no matter how badly I wished I could just ignore the dark, lanky, figure haunting my life, I found it impossible. He was everywhere.

He made his very first silent appearance on that wonderful day in the rainy streets with Dan, it was the first day I had chosen to ignore him purely for the brown haired boy's sake; though the event had still chilled me to the bone, much in the same way one might feel when staring death in the face. A few nights later, I saw him on my way home from my newly acquired second job (as a bartender), slinking away in an alley like a rattlesnake under a rock, just waiting for me to take a wrong step. I remembered the uneasy feeling in my stomach when the silhouette of his broad shoulders came into view, and the way I instantly regretted walking home instead of just taking the bus.

I saw him again at Starbucks, and once more at Tesco. He hung out against the brick wall across the street from the flat on a daily basis, with a thin cigarette always clasped between his white lips. I felt like he was toying with me in some deadly game of cat and mouse. Maybe he simply planned on batting us around a bit before attacking, I just knew that whatever he planned, this part was nothing but a bit of twisted entertainment to him.

He almost never showed his face, he didn't have to though. I knew which knife-like eyes of icy blue glared from beneath that clishé godfather fedora. I knew who's bony limbs rested under the black fabric of whatever long coat he was wearing. I knew who he was, and I knew what he wanted, I just didn't know what he was planning.

That was the scariest part though, because I also knew what he was capable of.

__________________

My eyes gazed intriguingly over Dan, who lay beside me in a panting mess of tangled sheets and limbs. A thin layer of sweat reflected the low glow of the lamplight off of his soft golden skin, while his eyes remained half-closed, and his dark brown hair curled against our blue pillows. Despite his small amount of adorable tummy pudge, Dan looked relatively fit, since this semester he was apparently taking gym class rather than art.

I loved looking at him when he was like this, exhausted, unwound, and completely encased in the most natural beauty. I envied that he didn't even have to try to look perfect.

The events of the afternoon were still freshly planted memories in my mind. Memories of Dan lying beneath me on our bed, and the way my name sounded while it rolled out of his mouth in whimpers and moans; the noises better than any music.

Still, it all felt weird, because I knew that behind those closed curtains, ten-something floors down, he was sat, leant against the brick wall of some small shop with a lit cigarette in his teeth. I felt invaded.

I knew by now that Dan had certainly noticed him as well, though we didn't talk about it. How exactly are you even supposed to just casually mention your stalker; who, coincidentally, happens to be your father?

"Why do you always do that?" Dan panted out, causing my eyes to avert to his.

"Do what?"

"You always stare at me...after... why?" he asked, and a small smile spread across my lips while I ran my fingers up his bare side, pulling myself closer to him.

"Because you look really cute when you're all fucked out." I mumbled closely in his ear, and I could feel the heat that followed my words radiating off of his cheek.

"You should talk mister sex hair." Dan replied, and I playfully wiggled my head so that my out of place black locks tickled his nose, making him giggle and shy away further into the pillow.