Erika's POV:
"All these sparks are driving me insane
The memory of your eyes hide in this flame
You can't take any of that away
We let it burn out, we're caught in the rain"
-Red Lighter, Joseph Somers-Morales
As soon as I see Cody in the cab, I run. I run like my life is depending on it and my legs are burning, but I don't care. It will never be as bad as the thought of losing him.
I pass all the little places I was carelessly walking by before as I left him in his bed.
Why do I always frekin' do that?
Maybe it's cause you're afraid...
Of what? The hell would I be scared of?
Yourself. For once in your life, you have something somewhat stable and now you're scared you'll be the reason why you mess this up.
Fuck.
I thought so..
Shut the fuck up.
Damn it, it was right, or I should say I was right.
It's not my fault that I've never had anything stable! It's not my fault that I'm surrounded by these things. I can't help it... it's not.. it's not my fault.
Yeah, yeah. Nothing's your fault.. It's totally not your fault that Cody is so messed up from you that he just attacked JOSEPH SOMO, your boss, who you like. Your only job which you haven't screwed up, where you feel at home and comfortable with and you jeopardize that.
SHUT UP. SHUT UP. Why ... why can't you just leave me alone?
How can I leave you? I am you.
NO. No... you're not. You're just the guilt and now it's eating me up. I am fine. I am normal.
Oh, but darling, you'll never be normal.
My head is getting to me and vision is blurred. The voice becomes louder and my senses seem to fade. I can't escape it. I can't even run away from it because it is me. I am panicking, no longer able to calm down. I fall to my knees on the hard pavement, with tears running down my face. I have my hands pulling at my hair while I scream in attempts to make the voice shut up. Anything for it to shut up.
Before I know it, my head falls to the floor and all my senses seem to fade, even the voice that I feel like I've been yelling at for hours to shut up has simmered down. My heart seems to slow and everything is serene for a little My limbs are no longer in my control as the rest of my upper body crashes to the floor and this is where I finally find some peace and quiet.
Joseph's POV:
"No turning back
This time it is clear now
Forgotten words and hopeless hurt
All left in the past now"
-Red Lighter, Joseph Somers-Morales
I take my sweet time walking back. I have no one to get back to so it's not like it matters. I am dreading going back to my bed where her scent still lingers on my sheets. I can almost smell it, her hair always smelled like mangoes. Ugh.
YOU ARE READING
Bipolar for Him; A Joseph SoMo Fanfic (ON HOLD)
Fanfic"One day you're bouncing off the walls happy and we're like the perfect couple and the next.. you're crying yourself to sleep, even though I haven't done anything to you," he coos at me, "I worry about you, but it's hard when you're so bipolar." "Oh...
