St. Ambrose Mental Health and Rehabilitation Center //// AU LiLo

Chapter 1: Introductions

"I don't belong here," Liam thought as he surveyed the group of teenagers arranged in a circle.

"I'm not crazy, nothing is wrong with me." Liam felt his chest constricting, his breath became shallow and his vision began to blur. He knew what was happening, he knew if he didn't get a grip now he would soon have a full-blown panic attack. What an impression that would make. Liam willed himself to steady his breath, forcing himself to expand his lungs as much as possible.

"Just focus on something else," he muttered to himself. Liam looked around the circle of kids. Some of them looked perfectly normal, happy even. Others looked downright scary. One boy had dark hair and tattoos covering his arms. His ears were pierced and he wore all black and a mean scowl. When they made eye contact, Liam gulped and quickly averted his eyes to the boy next to the scary one. This boy had messy brown hair and blue eyes. He too was covered in tattoos, but he wore a bored grin and had a mischievous twinkle in his eye that made him seem a lot less intimidating. The boy pulled a funny face and winked at Liam, who giggled in spite of himself.

Liam continued to scan the circle, much more relaxed than he was a few minutes ago. His eyes stopped on a girl next. She had dyed red hair and Liam thought her eyes were sad. She could have been beautiful, but her face was caked with unflattering makeup. Sitting next to her were two boys that looked too young to be there. The first had brown curly hair and green eyes. Liam thought it was strange that he too was covered in tattoos, even though the boy couldn't be much older than sixteen. Next to him was a blond boy with blue eyes and a baby face. This boy, a contradiction with sad eyes, and a bright smile intrigued Liam. Just as Liam was confused by an overwhelming urge to go over and hug the little blond boy, a woman walked into the room demanding everyone's attention.

The tall woman with sharp features pulled up a chair and sat in the center of the circle of teenagers, waiting for the group to fall silent.

"Welcome back to Group everyone. We have a new member today." Liam gulped. "So we're going to spend some time with introductions." Liam knew this was coming. He absolutely hates introductions; of course, this useless group session would force him into the center of attention.

"I'll begin," the lady said with a smile. "My name is Patricia Arrigo. I have a doctorate in psychology and I have been working here for ten years. I've been leading Group for the past three years and I love working with all of you. I am always available to talk. Ashley, why don't you go next?" Liam vaguely listened as the introductions went around the circle. He was far too concerned with what he would say when it was his turn. Liam tuned back in when he heard Dr. Arrigo ask a question.

"Zayn, would you like to introduce yourself?" Liam looked around for this Zayn who had an option to participate.

"His name is Zayn," the boy with the mischievous eyes said, pointing to the scary one on his left. "He likes to pretend he's tough but he's really just a big teddy bear that likes love songs and long walks on the beach." A few people in the group snickered, but Liam's heart dropped into his stomach. He was sure Zayn would make the other boy pay for his cheekiness. Zayn just rolled his eyes though, a tiny hint of a smirk playing around the edges of his mouth.

"Thank you for the creativity Louis, why don't you go next," Arrigo said while Liam let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding.

"You already went for me love," Louis answered with a smirk, running his fingers through his hair.

"Inappropriate Louis," Arrigo reprimanded, but Liam could see she had to struggle to hide her amusement. Liam and Louis made eye contact for a second time, and Liam felt like he was falling.

"Alright," Louis said, pulling his gaze away from Liam's. "In honor of the new boy," and Liam caught another wink from Louis, "my name is Louis and I'm twenty years old, which means I'm far too old to be stuck here with all of you." People laughed, but Arrigo shushed them.

"We're all here for a reason Lou," she said.

"Of course I'm here for a reason love, I get to see you. And there are excellent snacks." Everyone was laughing now, even Liam let out a little chuckle, though his nerves made it sound more like a cough.

"Right, moving on now," Arrigo said. They moved further around the circle. Liam felt his throat begin to close and his heart rate increase. He tried his best to pay attention, but the blood pounding in his ears made it hard for him to hear what the other kids were saying. A sharp jab in his side brought Liam back to reality with the sickening realization that everyone's eyes were on him. He cleared his throat once, twice. His eyes found Louis again, and the boy smiled warmly at him. The lump in Liam's throat loosened a bit.

"My name is Liam," he mumbled. "I'm eighteen, and I'm looking forward to the snacks?" The last part came out sounding more like a question than a joke. There was a beat of silence that Liam thought was an eternity, but then Louis let out a loud laugh and it was the best sound Liam thought he had ever heard. Liam let out a long breath, happy to get his turn over with, and tuned back into everyone else's introductions.

The girl that could have been pretty was Eleanor; she was seventeen years old and was coming up on her one-year anniversary at the center. She gave Liam a small smile when she finished, and Liam returned it shyly. The young boy with tattoos surprised Liam when he heard his slow, deep voice.

"My name is Harry," the boy began. "I'm sixteen, and my mum shipped me over here cus she's too busy with her new family so now I'm stuck with you lot." Liam felt bad for the young boy with abandonment issues. He, himself felt a little left behind by his parents, but at eighteen years old Liam knew they were looking out for his best interests, however misguided they might be. This Harry boy, however, just thought he was being disposed of because he didn't fit in to his mother's idea of a perfect family.

"Guess I'm last then," said the blond boy in an Irish accent. "I'm eighteen years old, and I dye me hair so spare me the dumb blond jokes."

"But leprechaun jokes are fair game," Louis chimes in for the first time since he laughed at Liam's feeble attempt at a joke.

"Aye, you tosser," Niall confirms with a brilliant smile.

"Ok boys," Dr. Arrigo says, cutting off their banter. "Thank you all for the introductions. Liam, it will be a pleasure getting to know you during your stay here. At this point, I think, we will cut morning Group short today so we can all help Liam settle in. Our afternoon session starts on time, see you guys at 3pm sharp." There are scrapes of chairs against tile and sounds of kids breaking off into their individual conversations and Liam feels like he's back in school. He feels a hand on his shoulder and turns.

"Oh, hello Dr. Arrigo."

"Hello, Liam," she says with a smile. "How's your first morning going?"

"Perfect," Liam lies. Dr. Arrigo nods and smiles at Liam softly.

"It will take some time but you will adjust. This place will be good for you." Liam just looks down at his shoes. "Well your things have already been taken to your room, having been inspected for contraband. Policy, we have to make sure everyone is safe, you understand." Liam nods. "Come along and I will show you to your room." Dr. Arrigo begins walking down a long hallway, and Liam follows her in silence. "We encourage peer relationships here at St. Ambrose, so your roommate will be your tour guide and will show you the ropes this first week. He will also give you the schedule for meals, lessons, and group sessions. You will get your individual therapy schedule at breakfast tomorrow morning. Do you have any questions for me?" The turn a corner and come to a halt at the third door to the right.

"Um, do we get like family visits or like get to leave the hospital or something?" Liam asks.

"The center Liam," Arrigo smiles softly. "Family visits begin after your first month to give you time to completely acclimate to the community here. Outside trips begin after two months depending on you demonstrated progress in therapy and the responsibility you show on the floor."

"Okay, great." Liam says quietly. He looks up at the brown door looming above him. Room 1023.