"Taylor, let's go out," Veronica giggled on the other end of the phone line. I nodded, really not wanting to deal with her anymore.
"Alright," I sighed. "Where do you wanna go?"
"Let's go dancing at a club!" she cheered. I winced at the memories of Hayley's love for parties.
"I-I can't," I stammered. "I don't dance."
"Oh, come on," she laughed. "Let's go dancing."
"Veronica, please," I begged, my voice breaking a little.
"Oh," she said, finally catching on. "I'm sorry."
"It's fine," I said.
"Get over her. She's dead and you gotta move on."
"She was more than a friend, you know?" I huffed. Veronica was silent for a moment. "Hayley was my girlfriend."
"Taylor, do you love me?" Veronica asked after a moment.
"Veronica--"
"Do you love me?" I couldn't answer her. Deep down, I didn't love Veronica. I couldn't love her. I loved Hayley, no matter what the circumstances were.
"Veronica, just meet me at the coffee shop. I'll talk to you there."
"Alright, I love you." I said nothing back. I only hung up the phone and picked up Hayley's next journal.
The next one was a regular black journal with a silver 'H' on the front. I opened it to start reading, but found a blank page. The rest of the pages carried notes of things that she did and needed to remember, like 'buy a new pack of cigarettes.' Every once in a while, I did find my name. Only my last name. So, I knew this journal was recent. She started calling me York when she was 21; I was 20.
I took the journal with me as I put on a jacket and grabbed my keys as I left the house. The coffee shop wasn't too far from where I live. So I walked there and waited for Veronica. Eventually, she did enter the small café, her hair no longer inferno red, but black. It suited her.
"You don't love me, huh, Taylor?" she asked as she sat down across from me. I gave a weak smirk.
"Well, hello to you too," I teased. Veronica gave a weak smile in return.
"So, you don't love me?" I heaved a sigh as I shook my head.
"I'm sorry, Veronica, but... I don't."
"So, were you just using me?"
"No," I chuckled, though tears were making their way to my eyes. "I'm not that kind of person."
"Then, why were you...?" she trailed off.
"The thing is," I sighed, "I forced myself to try to move on after Hayley... but I can't. You see, I love her. I can't get over her. She was my everything, really. So, I can't just forget about her. I can't get over her. I will always love her, no matter what."
"I understand, Taylor," she said after a moment, resting her hand on mine.
"Thanks," I said, my voice coming out as a small rasp.
"So," she huffed, her ordinary brown eyes staring into mine. "Are we done... or what?"
"I'll keep trying," I said, a pang hitting my chest. "I can't make any promises, though."
"Alright," Veronica agreed with a nod. I managed to give her a smile; she returned it as she caressed my face. The choice I made was something I didn't trust. But it was too late to back down on my own words.
I betrayed myself. But most of all, I betrayed Hayley. Even if she was dead, I could feel her disappointment. And her disappointment was the last thing I ever wanted to feel.
YOU ARE READING
The Renegade Diaries
Fanfiction{Warning: Can be triggering to some.} After two months have passed since Hayley's death, Taylor York has forced himself to try to move on with his life. When he goes to Hayley's house to clean it out, a note is left for him by Hayley, herself, telli...
