The Renegade Diaries

Prologue: Before

Hayley's POV

{Two Months Earlier...}

I forced down another handful of Xanax, my tears uncontrollable at the moment. I sat on my bed with my phone in one hand, and my journal in my lap. I don't remember much of what I had wrote in my text message to Taylor, but heartache was getting the best of me, recalling the morning I left Taylor. I hated the burning image if his teary eyes in my mind.
"I thought that it wouldn't hurt you as much if I was gone," I choked as I wrote the words down on the paper, my tears falling on the words, letting the ink bleed. I sent the message to Taylor, trying to calm my sobs.
I could only be happy if I was no longer here. Happiness was not in this world. But I was wrong. Taylor was what made me happy; Taylor was who made happy. But he couldn't deal with my wrecked life. Hell, I couldn't deal with it. Death was my only way out of it.
My phone rang next to me. I looked at it, finding Taylor's smiling picture on the screen. I took a few deep breaths to try and cover my cries.
"York," I answered, my voice still shaky. "Hey."
"Whatever you're doing, stop it right now," he said.
"Taylor, love, I can't," I whimpered. "I can't live like this anymore. Promise you'll carry on."
"Hayley, I can't if you're gone! I need you here!" I heard him break into sobs. I couldn't bear to hear his agony, making me cry more. "I need you here with me, please!"
"You're strong, Taylor York," I said, forcing a smile on my lips. "You can carry on without me, I'm sure."
"Hayley, no!"
"York, I have to go," I cried. "I love you so much. I really do, honey. Stay here for me."
I quickly hung up and curled into myself as I sobbed harder. I pressed my pen against my journal's open page and forced myself to write, though it was hard to see with the tears blurring my vision.

I'm sorry, Taylor York...