The Renegade Diaries

Chapter 3: Slip-ups

{One Week Later...}

I was already on her second journal. I continued to read her entries as I waited for Veronica while she was in the dressing room. She dragged me to the mall with her, claiming I don't go out at all and that we needed to spend time together. I brought Hayley's journal, this one being a dark red with a reptile design on it's hard covers. She was seventeen in this journal.

"Taylor," I heard Veronica groan. I reluctantly fixed my attention to her, finding her in a blue dress.

"Huh?" I asked. She glared at me as she folded her arms.

"Were you even listening?" she growled. I couldn't lie. I didn't hear a sinlge word from her; I shook my head. She huffed as she rolled her eyes.

"This is why I question us..." Veronica's voice faded off into another rant I blocked out as I continued reading. "Taylor!"

"What?" I groaned as I looked up at her again. Veronica glared at me again, her brown eyes failing to intimidate me.

"You know what?" she snarled. "Forget it." I rolled my eyes as she went back into the dressing room; I continued to read.

Dear Taylor,

Remember when we were starting high school and I promised to not ruin my life with drugs and alcohol? I failed. And I'm sorry. I really did try for you. I hope you'll still be by my side.

A memory of high school came to me, Hayley asking me if I would still be her friend if she started drinking and doing drugs. I remember I said I would, and I would do anything to help her out of her addiction, if she needed and wanted it. I couldn't force Hayley into help if she didn't want it.

"What are you even reading?" I heard Veronica ask, irritation in her voice. She reached to grab the journal, but I snatched it away from her.

"Why would it matter to you!" I spat. She rose a brow as her eyes widened a little.

"Are you hiding something from me?"

"No, but you shouldn't snatch things from people without their permission, Veronica!"

"Can I see the book?" she huffed, annoyed.

"No," I said.

"Well, what's the point of asking if you were going to say no, anyway?"

"Permission."

"If I asked before, would you have let me see it?" I scoffed at her question.

"What the fuck? No!" I scolded.

"And why not?"

"You don't need to know everything about my life, you know? Let me have some privacy," I said, the words being harsh and bitter towards her. Veronica gasped a little.

"Ohh," she whispered. "It's your diary?"

"Go to hell, okay?" I spat. I stormed out of the store and got in my car. I opened the journal and continued reading.

There's a possible chance that I could become addicted. But I'll try my best to stop that from happening. I hope you can be by my side to help me. I need you there. More than ever.

"I promise," I whispered, as if Hayley was saying this to me, directly. She was, even when she was gone.

Most of all, I need you here because... I love you. As my brother, that is. Maybe more than that. I'm not sure. But I hope I find out soon. I guess I'm really confused. It's late, so I could be confused from sleepiness. But I promise to find out soon.

I heaved a sigh as I closed the book, finishing the entry. I put the book in the passenger seat next to me as I started the car. Something inside me hoped Hayley did have feelings for me before our relationship that occured recently. Another part of me didn't care either way. As long as she loves me. Or... used to love me. Hayley was gone. As much as I hated the information, I had to accept it. I had to move on.