Was I Enough? ~Jamilton~

Silent.

ALEX'S POV

Gone.
Lost.
Left.
Those words echo in my mind as I sit in the couch.
Nothing around me.
No one around me.
Just me,
And the house filled with silence.
Silence.
My throughout hurts from sobbing for hours on end.
So does my heart.
I can feel heart shatter int millions of pieces, splitting out of my body and damaging my soul, all of them dragging into my soul, all but one.
One bounces off.
And shatters me.
I'm broken.
This broke me.
I scream out Thomas's name.
I still have his blood on me.
His blood.
HIS BLOOD.
I stand up, cold and isolated.
I head to the bathroom, not having to search much for what I need.
Need.
I grab my razor, it's cold in my hands.
Cold.
Like him.
Him.
I take the blade to my wrist, tracing over old scars with it.
I feel soothed as the blood trickles down my arm and onto my jeans.
His jeans.
I suddenly drop the razor.
I scream out and sob as I fall to the floor, hugging my knees to my chest.
A storm is happening.
A heavy one.
One big boom after another.
My day,
Just got a whole lot worse.
---
A/N real quick
So.
I can't update without wifi.
And I'm the the car.
So this is a separate chapter.
Buuuut I decided to make it part of this chapter so this is all one chapter now I guess.
Hope you like it.
---
BOOM

I'm not in the house any more.
I can barely remember where I was.
Because I'm too traumatized by what I see.
It's raining, people are screaming as I watch them being swept away, as buildings collapse and I try to scream out to help someone.
A little boy.
He looks so scared, I can see he's trying to scream for his Mommy,
"NO!" I screech as something crashes into him.
Blood.
Everywhere.
I watch as everyone and everything just
parishes.
I try to scream again, the sound of the wind and screams drown by sobs and screams out of my people. A fire had started, some are burning, their screams haunting my mind. But I can't help. I am under a pillar that has collapsed on me, it wasn't heavy enough to to do damaged but it was too heavy to lift.
Until I saw him.
Him.
My brother.
My brother was burning and screaming out for me, for help. This broke me as I struggled and watched my brother die, his screams burned into my already broken soul.
I screeched and was brought back to house, the coldness of the floor seeping into his body. I shook and looked around, blood was everywhere from my cuts.
The storm was finally over. I'd been there for about two hours, I got up and grabbed the soft bandages from the kitchen, carefully wrapping them around my wrist and cleaning up the bathroom, washing off the razor under the cool water.
I got up and went to I and Thomas's bed, I put on some of his clothes and sit down on his side of the bed. It's cold. I start arranging his funeral, but to do that.

I have to...

No...

I must.

The note.

---
A/N

Heyyy
So this was really long and took me like 2 hours of consciousness and 4 hours of sleep to come up with, and last night's sleep.
I'll start updating tonight hopefully, if this is posted on Sunday instead of Saturday like I wrote and promised it'd be out on,
I'm so sorry.
Stay strong my children and wait, once I get wifi get ready for a spam.
IT'LL BE WORTH THE WAIT I PROMISE!!!!
Also, the reason the writing and everything was so weird and messed up was to represent how off Alex and his thoughts were from the grief.
So...
~652 words