Was I Enough? ~Jamilton~

Steady

ALEX POV

Eyes open.

World spinning.

     I reach over for Thomas, but he's not there. Everything comes back and I jump out of bed, grabbing an old blade from under the bed. Craving it as I pull my sleeve up, I start slashing my arm.

And then...

~flashback~

       "Alex babe! I'm home!" I hear Thomas say as he closes the door and I panic. Blood is running down my arms and before I can fix things, he opens the door. "Alex?! Alex what the fuck did you do!?!?!" He screeches as I wince from the scream. "I'm sorry... I know you're mad." I whisper quietly as he examines my arms. He picks me up in his warm arms into his soothing grasp and over to the bathroom, quickly cleaning me up. "I'm so sorry..." Is all I can manage to repeat. Thomas gently puts his hand on my cheek and rubs his thumb over it, "baby I'm not mad." He said softly. "I-I know I'm a disappointment I'm sorry." I said quietly. "Listen," Thomas starts as he moves his hand from my cheek and to my chin as he makes my gaze meet his. "You're enough for me, you're more than enough. You're so amazing and nothing close to a dissapointment, got it? I can't stand the thought of you hurting. I don't want you to do this baby, okay?"

~end of flashback~

I drop the blade.

Sink to my knees,

And just sob there'll.

    The blade made so many deep cuts that I can't feel my arm. John quickly rushes in and gasps, then just drops down in front of me and hugs me. "A-Ale-" John starts but stops when he hears my sobs. "Please don't hurt yourself, he wouldn't want this." John chokes out. "I'm sorry I'm making you I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry!" I mumble as I start shaking and heating up.

Panic Attack.

Yay.

     John picks me up and carries me to the washroom in a blanket. He lays be down on the floor as everything numbs and I can't take in oxygen . "It's gonna be okay." John whispers to me as it looks like he's cleaning my cuts. I groan and am quickly torn into darkness. John's desperate voice fades away and I let the silent dark fill me up and absorb me.

-~~-time-~~-skip-~~-

"Lexi...?"

"Come on come back...!"

      That's when I hear John's sobs. I open my eyes as the world spins around me and I feel like vomiting. "Alex!" John exclaims. "I-I need to get to work." I mumble. "Oh. HELL. NO." John says as I groan. I'm in bed, that's for sure.
      "John where's Thomas?" I ask groggily. He takes a deep breath and sits me up, hugging me. That's when it all flows back. I look down to my arms, John must've noticed how you can't see any skin without a scar on it. "Go to Laf." Is all I say, he stares at me with a confused look on his face. "I heard him sob and I understood the French. Just go to him.".
        John just calmly stands up and walks out of the room. I sit there in silence as I stare at the wall in complete disbelief. I heard the whole fight, everything. Hercules is a dick that's for sure. I've picked up on the little things about laf, how his anxiety is clearly PTSD, and if you put the pieces together he's obviously an orphan.

Easy.

Goddamn I could use a drink.

A/N
Hello my lovlies!
This chapter was really long

*inhale*

but I still really need you to vote!
Anyway enjoy your weekend!

~615 words