13 Reasons Why Imagines

"You're the Reason Why..." (Zach x reader)

TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide and self harm is mentioned in this story....

-- Zach's POV --

She was dead. The girl who was my neighbor, the girl who I loved, was gone. She hated my guts and we never saw eye to eye. I still loved her with all my heart.

I was helping her parents look for a reason why she killed herself. First we lost Jeff, then Hannah, and now (Y/N). I was moving a few of her books off her desk when I saw a piece of paper sticking out of a binder with my name written on it in her beautiful cursive.

I took the note and carefully shoved it into my pocket. I then finished cleaning up the room trying to find anything that led to why (Y/N) killed herself. She was good friends with Hannah, maybe that's why she did it?

Once I got home, I went to my room and shut the door. There, I opened the note and began to read over the beautiful cursive writing.

Zach,
So, you found my note. I guess that you're helping my parents look for clues as to why I killed myself. Well, this note explains everything. This is the reason, well, reasons why I killed myself.

Reason 1: Like everyone, I was bullied. Did you never see that, Zach? Did you even cared? It was your friends who were constantly bullying me. Why did you not stop them? Why did you join them?

Reason 2: My home life wasn't that great. Sure, my parents were always nice when out in public or someone was over, but that was it. They were constantly fighting. You would see me sitting on my roof. That was the days where my parents would be fighting. You know how many vases we go through in a week? Too many.

Reason 3: This was was obvious, but because of Hannah. She was my best friend. She told me everything but never turned to me when she needed help. She was too far gone. I blame myself, feeling as though I could have saved her. I could have talked her out of it but I never tried. She shouldn't be gone... I could have saved her...

Reason 4: The final reason, is because of you. Yes, you. Now let me explain.

I couldn't stand your guts. You were the biggest asshole I've ever met. You allowed your friends bully me and you never did shit about it. You never stopped them. You laughed along with them and allowed it to happen, why?

The more that I hated your guts, the more I realized that I loved you. Yes, Zach, I love you. I know, I told you too late but I could never tell you to your face.

Why? Because we have always been enemies. Even though I saw you cared. You would sneak your sandwich into my locker so I had food to eat for lunch. You gave me those cute little notes in my compliment bag in communications class. Did you think I didn't know it was you? I knew your handwriting.

I loved it when you would watch me from your bedroom window when I sat on my roof. You were watching over me, almost like a guardian angel. Thank you, so much for that. I knew you cared for me even if we we're always at each other's throats.

You could have saved me, though. You didn't stop your friends from bullying me. Hell, you even played with them. That rumor you began about me wasn't cool.

Oh, you don't remember the rumor?

The one where I supposedly had sex with Tyler?

Yeah, that rumor. Tyler and I never spoke except for Yearbook. That shattered me knowing people talked about Tyler and I. He even looked at me weird thinking I had some crush on him. He was a creep. Did you even know what he did to Hannah?

She told me about that picture that was going around. Of the two girls kissing. She told me it was her and told me it was Tyler who took it. I was the one who broke his arm...

Why didn't you try to save me, Zach? I love you and I can clearly see you care deeply for me. You could have stopped your friends, talked to me, hell, anything.

You just let me slip away just like Hannah.

No wonder you were a reason on her list, too....

That's how the note ended. How did (Y/N) know I was a reason Hannah killed herself? Did she listen to the tapes? Impossible. She wasn't even on the tapes. I heard a knock at my bedroom door as it soon open. In walked Justin with a smirk over his lips which soon faded.

"Dude, you're crying. What's wrong?" Justin asked with concern. I hesitated as I handed over the note. Justin took a few minutes to read it before looking out my window towards (Y/N)'s house.

"Dude... I'm sorry..." Justin said. I sighed as I shook my head.

"Get the fuck out of my house, Justin. Just leave me the fuck alone." I said as I wiped my eyes dry. Justin nodded as he obeyed me. He must have known I cared for her.

That night as I fell asleep, I wished that it was all a dream, that I could save her. This was predicting the future and giving me a chance to save her. As I closed my eyes, I hoped so much that it was all a dream.

As I woke up, I looked at the clock weirdly. It was the day before. I thought about it before it clicked. It was a dream. I looked at the desk in my room and noticed that the note wasn't there. My dream was showing me what was going to happen to (Y/N). Instantly, I shot out of bed, threw my shoes on and walked over to her house.

I knocked on the door and I could hear shouting from inside. An argument from her parents. Once her mother opened the door, I rushed up to (Y/N) room with no explanation. I went to her bedroom door and I hear crying along with a yelp of pain. I began to bang on the door before opening it.

"(Y/N) stop it! Don't do it!" I shouted as I saw her sitting on her bed. Her arms were bleed from multiple cuts as a noose sat beside her.

"Z-Zach? What the hell are you doing in my room for?!" (Y/N) shouted at me. I rushed over to her and hugged her tightly as tears ran down my face.

"I-I had a dream... that you were going to kill yourself. In your binder, you wrote a note with four reasons why you killed yourself. P-please don't, (Y/N). I love you..." I said as tears streamed down my face. (Y/N) hesitated for a minute before wrapping her arms around me.

"I knew you cared, Zach. You let them bully me. You started that god damn rumor. I fucking hate your guts! The more I tell myself that I hate you, the more I realize that I love you, Zach... I-I'm so sorry... I miss Hannah, Zach..." (Y/N) sobbed into my hoodie. I held her for a bit before I went to get bandages for her cuts.

"I won't let the guys bully you anymore. I'm sorry that I was an asshole to you all these years. I can't lose you. We lost Hannah and Jeff already. We don't need to lose another beautiful soul because people are fucking assholes. Let me help you. You can come live with me. You won't have to deal with the fighting from your parents. Please, (Y/N)." I spoke to her. (Y/N) smiled as she wiped the tears from my eyes.

"I love you, Dempsey..." I smiled as (Y/N) began to smile. I then pressed my lips against hers and she returned the kissed.

Thank God I saved her before I lost her...