13 Reasons Why Imagines

A Cry for Help (Mr Porter x Student!reader)

TRIGGER WARNING: Mention of suicide, self harm and bullying is heavily mentioned
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This was the third time I've tried to come down to Mister Porter's office this week. This was the first time that I actually made it. As I sat at his desk waiting for him, I began to look around and recall all of the events that has happened this week.

Hannah Baker killed herself. I met her at the party she threw at her house when she moved into town. We clicked instantly and began to talk. You could basically call me her best friend. What kind of best friend didn't know that their friend was suicidal? Obviously me. Guess I was always too involved with school work.

"Ah, Miss (L/N). It's great to see you. How are you feeling today?" Mister Porter asked as he walked through his door. I sat there for a moment before sighing.

"Honestly? I feel like shit. Pardon my French. Nothing feels the same after what happened. I was so close to Hannah and I never noticed the signs." I said as I stared at my hands. Mister Porter nodded as he watched me.

"I'm sorry for what happened to Miss Baker. I'm happy that you've finally come down to talk to me about it. You and Hannah were really close, right?" Mister Porter asked. I nodded as I looked up at him.

"Extremely. She was like a sister to me. She knew all about what was going on between me and my family. She knew everything about me. Every little detail. Now, she's gone and I can barely get out of bed everyday due to this. She was helping me through my depression and now she isn't with me anymore..." I mumbled softly as I could feel tears threatening my eyes. Mister Porter handed me his box of tissues he had on his desk.

"Listen, (Y/N). What Hannah did is terrible. We lost a beautiful soul in this world. You cannot keep living in the past though. I want you to come visit me everyday you can during your free period. We can talk everything out." Mister Porter said with a smile. I slowly smiled as I dried my eyes.

"T-Thank you Mister Porter." I said as I
Got out of the chair and then headed to class. I really hope he can help me.

For the first two weeks, he was helpful. He actually listened to me and I was beginning to feel better. Then, I started to get worse. With the upcoming trial the Baker family was having, I felt my depression become worse. Since I was told that I was going to have to talk about Hannah and what happened.

I would try my best to visit Mister Porter during my free period but he would blow me off or even schedule another student at that time. It came closer and closer to the trial and I couldn't handle it. I made my way to Mister Porter's office and gently knocked on the door.

"Ah, (Y/N). It's nice to see you again. How are you?" Mister Porter said with a smile. I sat down on the chair and placed my backpack on the floor by my feet.

"I don't know. We have trial coming up for what happened with Hannah and I haven't been able to sleep. I've felt more depressed lately. Sometimes I just want to end my life..." I spoke as I just stared at the ground.

"I see... have you tried to involve yourself in activities? To get your mind off this?" Mister Porter asked. I slowly looked up at him.

"I can barely get myself out of bed. It takes everything out of me to get dressed and to come everyday. Sometimes I wish I would just get into a car accident. Do something that will cause me to pass out, something that will cause me to never wake up. I can't do this anymore."

Mister Porter watched me. He looked deep in thought as I talked. Like he was taking in every word and trying to find a way to help me. Once I finished talking, Mister Porter leaned against his desk and let out a sigh.

"You need to find something to set your mind off everything. If you don't, then these thoughts are going to keep up. Unless you're just trying to get attention. I understand everyone is upset over Hannah, but you need to move on." Move on? MOVE ON?! That's all he had to say?

"Move on? You want me to just forget about my best friend and what happened to her? Mister Porter, Hannah is dead. She isn't coming back. Her parents are suing the school and going to trial because of what happened! She was bullied and raped! You didn't do shit to help her.

We have lost Jeff, Hannah and Alex within the last few months, Mister Porter. Who knows who else we've almost lost from suicide. Do you even care? Do you really even care about us? Or are you just here for the god damn money. For your wife." I said as I quickly stood up and turned form his room. I paused for a moment outside the door before walking down the hall.

"Miss (L/N). Wait." I heard Mister Porter said behind me. I stopped in the middle of the hallway and waited. I slowly turned to see Mister Porter standing in the middle of the hallway.

"What? What could you possibly want? You didn't help Hannah, and you're not going to help me!" I shouted at him. Tears streamed down my face as he just watched me.

"I know I've made mistakes, (Y/N). I know I let Hannah go but she wasn't willing to do anything. You can change. You have to let go of what happened. You will never get over what happened by living in the past." Mister Porter said. I just watched him as I took a step towards him.

"That's the ONLY advice you can give me! Move on, stop living in the past, find something to distract me! I-I can't do it anymore, Mister Porter! Hannah was my BEST friend. She was there for me and I tried my best to be there for her. She's gone! I can't go everyday knowing that I will never see her again. See her smile, hug her, get a text from her. Thanks for nothing, Mister Porter..."

I turned away and began to walk out of the school. He didn't even try stopping me again. I tried my best to ask for help but the rumors were true. Mister Porter was a shitty and terrible counselor. I wonder how many students have gone to him for help and he's given them shit advice. I wonder if that's why Hannah killed herself. He didn't help her, like he didn't help me...

I'm sorry mom and I'm sorry dad. I couldn't be helped... And I blame Mister Porter for not helping... Now he has another student who took their life due to suicide....