The Fourth Fall (Sequel to Boy In My Class) Gerard Way

Chapter 11: Ecstasy

I found myself laid on my lounge floor, staring up at the ceiling. There was a single crack in the ceiling that you could follow from one end of the room to the other. It was so faint that it could be easily mistaken for a lonely string of cobweb, but long enough that you worried the ceiling could collapse upon you at any moment. If you stared at the crack in the ceiling long enough, you could forget all sorts of problems that were drowning your reality, such as the possibility of pregnancy with a man who you weren't even dating. I hoped, with all my heart, that if I stared at the crack long enough, I'd be sucked up into it and disappear into an alternate universe where pregnancy was not a real thing, nor was any kind of emotion that had the ability to make me feel physically sick in my stomach.

Yet, here I was, lying on my lounge floor aimlessly staring at my ceiling as if it were going to change the fact that this aforementioned man was on his way over to my house and I would be forced to tell him that I was pregnant, right at the beginning of our potentially salvaged relationship. Please, crack in the ceiling, take me with you.

Knock knock. The sound of a fist tapping against the front door began to sound through my ears. Please, I thought to myself, let him bang hard enough on the door that the crack in the ceiling grows so large that the roof has no choice but to fall on me and crush my body, so that I can leave this world behind. Wait a minute, these thoughts are not healthy. Time to get up.

I sat upright and flattened my messy hair, before standing up and heading over to the door. There stood Gerard, and I instantly forgot all painful or negative feelings. The way he looked at me was so nostalgic and yet it felt so new that it scared me. His eyes drowned me in emotions that ranged from complete fear to intense ecstasy. They say that when you fall in love, you just know, and it can't be explained in any more detail than just the fact that you look at the person whom you love and feel completely helpless, and yet complete at the same time. I knew, without a doubt, that I had fallen in love with Gerard a long time ago. It was like falling down an incredibly deep hole, because there was physically no way to climb out of it, even after four years apart, I loved him as much as I had loved him the day I first met him. If anything, I was digging myself further and deeper into this figurative hole every time I laid eyes on his perfect face.

"Hey," I said, in a tone of voice that I think summarised everything that was running through my mind. He stepped forward into my house with a serious expression on his face, and I assumed that he was attempting to passionately kiss me without speaking any words, but to his misfortune he tripped on my doorstep and fell into my arms. I caught him and tried to keep a straight face, but I found myself laughing hysterically as he tried to hide his embarrassment.

"I was trying to be smooth," he laughed into my neck, before standing upright and looking deep into my eyes. He cupped my face with both his hands and gently pulled my face close to his, locking his lips against mine in the passionate kiss that he had just previously failed to perform. I kissed him back, my arms resting on his slightly skinny body. Touring continuously and spending 24/7 trying to make My Chemical Romance a success had taken its toll on him; he didn't take care of himself as much as he should do. I wanted to take care of him so much.

"You need a bit more practise," I said. My mind was full of serious thoughts, such as how to tell him I was pregnant, or wondering whether or not he had broken up with Lindsey as he had promised earlier that day. However, I couldn't stop smiling. How could I not smile after kissing Gerard?

"So," he said, as we walked over to the couch and sat down. I wanted to keep it serious, but I couldn't help it. I curled up to him and snuggled into his chest, allowing him to wrap his arm around my shoulders, which made me feel the happiest and calmest I had felt in over four years. "Are you going to ask how it went with Lindsey?"

"I daren't," I said softly. "I'm hoping it was successful."

"Surprisingly," he said. "She knew it was about you. She told me that she'd overhead Ray and Frank talking recently, but that she had always expected it. Apparently when you stay married to someone without chasing up divorce papers, your girlfriend knows that you still love your wife."

"Oh God, we're still married," I said, my eyes widening. I had gone from being single to being married with a baby on the way in like, a week. I should be freaking out, but Gerard's presence kept me weirdly calm.

"Well, I was thinking," he said. "If you want to be back together, we could divorce and remarry, I mean urm, you know start from scratch and...see how it goes."

"Gerard," I said, still softly, without turning to look him in the eyes. "I'm pregnant."

I waited, scared stiff, for him to throw me off the couch and start screaming, or shouting, or at least panicking in some way or another. I waited for him to speak, at least, but there was nothing. All I felt was his arm around my shoulder tighten, and his chin rest upon the top of my head. After a few moments, I felt several tears landing on the top of my head. After what must have been ten solid minutes of silence, he finally spoke.

"Am I dreaming?"