Crazy • h.s.

losing my mind

What the hell was going on? I had no idea what was going on, more importantly what happened between Chris and Harry. I didn't want to get my ass chewed out even more especially if I say the wrong thing. It's happened to me enough, I don't need it anymore.

I take in a deep breath as I look up to see Harry marching in with a scowl on his lips. He must've said something to him; I could see it in his eyes. It doesn't seem like it turned out too good judging by how Harry looked as he came in.

I barely knew the guy but I was actually kind of happy that he told Chris off. Really happy if he did, which I had a strong feeling he did. I was also kind of scared too because of what might happen if I tried to tell him off myself.

More than likely, it would just result in a beating and I'd just have even more bruises to cover up, when I already have enough. I didn't need any more than I already have. The thought made me want to run away and never come back. I wanted nothing more than to break down in tears just thinking about it.

Next time I glance up, I am met with a pair of eyes I was dreading to see. Chris made his way up to me, a scowl on his face. I knew he was pissed at whatever Harry had said to him, he had to be.

"What happened?" I ask curiously. I wanted to know what happened when he was out talking with Harry. Something must have went on because I could hear it, they were so loud where practically all of us inside could hear them outside yelling at each other.

"Your so-called friend Harry, tells me I treat you bad like you're practically my bitch," he said, looking at me. I stare back at him and let out a huff. He was right about that, he does treat me like I'm his bitch and I was sick of it, I really don't know how much more I can handle. Chris has put me through hell of enough as long as I've been with him, going on a little over a year. I'm surprised we've lasted this long.

"He said that I don't know how to treat you right and that I don't deserve you. You know I do, baby," he smiled a cocky looking grin and grabs hold of my wrist and pulls me forward against him so I was flush against his chest. I let out an exasperated sigh and mumble something under my breath; I really hope he didn't hear. "You don't deserve me, ass," I mutter softly barely audible and slowly look up to meet his gaze.

"What did you say, Sidney? I know you said something," he says in his cocky manner and I feel him tighten his grip on my small wrist.

"Nothing," I snap back forcefully at him as I let out another sigh while I try to pull my fist from his tight grip on my wrist.

"I know you did, babe, I saw your lips move," he says as he looks at me and leans in closer. I could feel his breath on my neck. I don't respond.

"Let her go, Chris. She's not a fucking toy, let's get going, Sid," Kendall says and reaches forward to grab my arm. I soon pull my arm out of his tight death grip and go over and grab my belongings before Kendall and I were on our way. I loop my arm through hers as we make our way outside, not even looking back once.

"Ken, what do you think I should do? I don't know how much longer I can put up with him and his shit," I tell her in all honesty as I look over at her while we head down the main street and wait for the light to turn green so we could make our way across.

Her blond hair was flowing wildly behind her as the wind picked up a bit. I push some of my strands of dark hair out of my face as she looks at me before she begins to speak, "Well, if I were you, I'd 'fess up and tell him that you don't know if you want to continue doing this, your relationship, I mean, and trying to make it work. If I was in your shoes, I'd leave his ass; you deserve much better, love," she said and glances over at me before we notice it was our turn to cross the street.

"Yeah, that is exactly what I've been thinking about doing, but I just don't know how to get into action and confront him about it. I'm actually kind of nervous of thinking what he'll do if I did. Thinking about it scares me," I say as we stroll down the street that was right before our street we lived on.

"Yeah, I'd do it soon, so you don't have to keep letting it nag yourself in your mind, you know?" she asks as she looks over at me.

"I know, I think I wi-" I stutter as I glance over to see Harry sitting in his big black Chevy Tahoe. He was staring at me – not just casually staring like you would normally do – he was staring at me like I was some kind of model or something. I mean, don't get me wrong, I think I'm pretty just not to thatextreme. I can't help but take a deep breath as I look over at him. He was in a firm stare as he looked at me.

I kind of begin to freak out a bit that he was just sitting there watching me. I mean, I was happy he said something to Chris, but it is still pretty creepy that he was staring at me as if he knows what I am going through. Clearly, he didn't but he seemed interested enough to care, unlike Chris, whom I am definitely sure for a fact he doesn't give a shit about me.

I was stupid. Why did I pick Chris out of all the many guys that are on this planet? I had to agree with Kendall, I do agree with her, whole-heartedly that I don't deserve him especially by how he treats me. I deserve someone way better than Chris. That is when I realized I am totally losing my mind; I wanted nothing more than to spend time with my best friend and have a great time and not let Chris get me down even more than he already has.

After a few minutes, I lean over toward Kendall and whisper something to her and tell her I wanted to get the hell out of here. She nods her head in response as I pull on her arm before we begin to make our way down the street to our house. I didn't even look back, because I knew full well he was still idled in his back car, watching me.

Soon enough, Kendall and I make our way down the street to our house. We head up the creaky steps that led up to the front door. As our feet shuffled across the loud wooden floorboards on the porch to the door, I shift my weight on my left foot to my right one. Kendall was shuffling through her bag to find the keys, most likely.

"Damn it, can't find my bloody keys!" she mutters under her breath. I giggle at her actions. Seeing her flustered like this is always quite comical to watch. That's my best friend for ya.

"Shut up Sid. D'you know where it is – the spare key, I mean?" she questions and shoves me in the shoulder, a small hint of a smile on her lips.

"Under the mat, Ken," I tell her with a smile and point to the doormat beneath our feet.

"Oh, forgot we put one there," she mumbles as she bends down and pulls it from under the dark welcome mat.

She rises back up on her feet, key in hand. A few moments later, the door swings open and I thank her and pinch one of her cheeks before I saunter inside. The door slams shut a few seconds later and I could tell she locked it in place. I let out a sigh of relief as I kick off my shoes and slowly drag my bare feet across the cool wood floor toward the living room. The coolness felt good on the bottoms of my feet. Kendall was trailing close behind me.

"Want to watch some movies, Ken?" I ask the blonde girl who was beside me as I both plop down on the brown leather couch while she sinks down into the matching chair, propping her feet up on the ottoman.

I definitely needed to do something fun and productive to get all this crap off my mind having to do with Chris. A girl's night with my best friend is perfect. I am still debating on how and when to break the news to Chris that I want to end it between us. Kendall was definitely right, it would be much better to do it sooner than later, especially since I've already been through hell and back in our relationship, if you can even call it one.

"Sure Sid! That sounds good to me!" she says with a smile. "And maybe we could do our nails, too! Girls night in, yeah?" she asks with a smile as she looks at me.

"Yes please!" I state in reply as I scoot up a bit so I was on the edge, my ass close to coming into contact with the floor, which would definitely hurt. Thankfully I didn't move any further or I would be on the floor in pain from falling on my ass to the hard floor below.

I slowly rise up from the couch so I could go pick some movies while Kendall went to get the stuff so we could do our nails. It was going to be a great night in with my best friend, I could tell.

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