Doodling Our Way Back

Chapter 29

Jacks pov

After Josephine's death we returned to New York. We got our stuff moved from Chippewa Falls and settled here. Rose spent most of her days sitting down not saying a word. She continued to stare out to a blank wall.

"Rose come on. This isn't good for you or the baby", nothing, "Rose it's alright you're still hurt and recovering. But it's been three weeks Rose. What about Jack huh? Have you even asked him about his little twin sister?", no reply.

"Why her Jack?", I heard her whimper, "why not me?", she turned to me.

"I.. I don't know Rose. Things just worked out this way", she then turned back around.

"You know I went through her old stuff while we were unpacking", she then began to cry, "and then I found-". But she didn't finish the sentence. She cried and cried and cried. She gripped onto something in her hands. A drawing.

"She drew us Jack! She drew all of us!", she gave it to me while she continued to weep. I held it in my hands and looked upon it.

Me, Rose, Jack, her, and the new baby that Rose held in her arms. She then titled it 'My Family' . Tears then escaped my eyes. Drawn on the October 13. Two days before she died. Her last piece that she ever drawed.

"I killed her Jack. I drew her away from me. It's all my fault", I then snapped out of my trance and went to Rose.

"Rose it wasn't your fault", I tapped her face, "it wasn't your fault. Look at me Rose. Look at me. It's not your fault. You didn't do this to her. It was a horrible, horrible accident. You had nothing to do with what happened"

"But I did!", she puffed out, "I drove her away from me Jack. She wanted to pack all my Titanic stuff but I didn't want her to. I yelled, screamed and hit her. She then ran away and ran into Cal. You see?! It was my fault. It was all my fault!", she cried even more. I then hugged her trying to bring her comfort. She cried herself to sleep in my arms.

"Daddy?", Jack Dawson Jr appeared in the doorway.

"What's up buddy? Can't get to sleep?", he then shook his head, "yeah me neither", I slowly riggled out of holding Rose.

"Mummy is still upset about Josephine isn't she?", he walked over as I managed to sit up.

"Very", I stroked Roses head and kissed her.

"Do you think we will ever be normal again?", he asked me as I stroked Roses hair away from her face .

"I think we ought to talk about this outside. The sun is almost up anyway", I then grabbed a spear blanket and we sat on the steps out the front door. We sat there in silence taking in the air and morning noises around us.

"Do you miss Joe?", he asked.

"Everyday". I answered him back. He then shyly nodded.

"Do you think everything will be normal again?", he asked his question again.

"In time. It might take a while but we'll get there", I answered his question.

"What about the new baby?"

"What do you mean?", I needed to clarify with him.

"I mean, do you think that the baby will help us?",

"I hope so. I really hope so", I put my arm around him.

"JACK!", I heard Rose call. We then both entered in through the door. Rose was shaking am he was scared, "it's time Jack. The baby is coming", she then had a contraction.

"Um. Ok. Alright alright alright", I tried to bring myself to terms with it, "I'll fetch a doctor. You stay with your mother Jack", I then rushed to the nearest and rang up the doctor who is on call. I walked out to see Rose in pain squeezing Jack Jr hand. He held back his tears and remained strong for Rose. "Rose I need you to get you to bed", I then helped her walk over and lay down. Jack Jr helped making her comfortable with the pillows.

"Is their anything else you'll like mummy?", he asked sweetly while we waited for the doctor to be here.

"Nnnn no", Rose huffed. Before she had another contraction again.

"Just breathe Rose. Just breathe", I gave her some advice. The doctor then showed up.

*****

"Alright I'm going to need you to
push now!", Dr Lance told Rose who is at the home stretch of her exhausting 6 hour labour.

"No. No. I can't. I CAN'T!", she screamed before she howled like a wolf of her next contraction. "JOSEPHINE!", she howled amongst the pain. I the barged in unable to hear the sound of her scream for our dead child.

"I'm here Rose. It's ok your alright", I tried to clam her down. She just pulled her head back and wept.

"I want her back. I don't want to push. I just want this all to be over", she cried

"I know. I know. But You've got to push Rose. You've got to!", I cheered her on.

"I can't Jack. I can't", she cried, "Josephine. I want my daughter back!", she wept through the pain.

"Listen Rose", I crouched down beside her, "this isn't Josephine. This is a brand new baby. That we're gonna love and watch grow old. Josie is so proud of you Rose. She's so proud. I only wish she could meet it. But you have to do this. For her. Now come on Rose. Push. Push with everything you've got", she then screamed at the top of her lungs till we heard the cry of our third child.

Rose breathed heavily while I was overjoyed. This is the first time I've ever witnessed a birth. The first time I've heard my child cry. The first time I get to see and touch him or her at this age, in their perfect precocious moment.

"Boy or girl?", Rose asked as the cut the cord and wrapped the little pink/red baby up.

"A boy", he said. The world then slowly revolved around me. The doctor slowly walked to me with my newborn son in his arms. He then put him in mine. It's feels completely unreal. He cried and squirmed in my arms. It feels unbelievable. I then slowly turned to Rose. With my shocked happy face on.

"I want to see him", she stretched out her arms. I then laid him down beside her, "oh wow", she started to cry, "aren't you beautiful aye. Like you daddy and big brother. Yes you are. Yes you are", she very lightly bounced him, "I don't think Josephine would want a younger brother. I think she wanted a sister to play dolls with", he wrapped his fingers around Rose one.

"What are we gonna call him?", I touched his slimy red forehead.

"Jordan. I always liked the name. I was going to choose it for Jack Jr but, well you know. Plus it sticks with all the 'J' names"

"It's perfect", I kissed her while her placenta came out.

"Can you get Jack for me", she asked.

"Sure", I responded with and went out to fetch him. He sat there playing with his toys on the ground. Using sound affects to create his scenario in his head, "Jack", I called to him. He then turned around, "you want to meet your new little brother?", he nodded and slowly got up and walked. He was still envious about the whole thing. But he still went in. He stood over Rose looking at her and the new baby.

"Jack I'll like you to meet your new little brother, Jordan", he stood over looking at him. She then brought him forward and he slowly touched him.

"Ew! He's all slimy",he jerked back and wiped the blood on his hands on my fresh shirt.

"Ew yuck Jacks", Rose laughed.

"Don't worry. You looked exactly like this when you were born", she said.

"Yeah but I wasn't covered in blood", he replied. Me and Rose just laughed.

"Yes you were Jack. Yes you were."