Purity And Cowardice #Wattys2018

4- Don't be so hard on yourself

3 years later...

Dozing off, I felt a hand taping my shoulders.

"Ella!" Someone said my name.

"El'! "

"Wake up dammit!! My uncle is here."

Someone slapped me and I woke up slightly dazed. I raised my head and met my best friend's furious gaze.

"Izzy, what the fuck? You slapped me!" I hissed at her.

"Yes, I did. And you deserve it!" She huffed. "The manager is here and he wouldn't like watching his cashier dozing off in her workplace !"

"I know, I know, I'm sorry. It's just that I didn't sleep early last night. There was a birthday party in the restaurant and I was stuck cleaning after them all night long." I breathed out, massaging my temples.

I was so tired and my head was pounding.

The scowl on my best friend's face turned into a sympathetic smile. She squeezed my hand.

"Don't be so hard on yourself El'. It's not healthy. Juggling between two part-time jobs and keeping your high grades at school is not easy. Look at you, just a light flick of wind and you'll find yourself flying back to Europe." She complained.

It's true. I was being hard on myself. But I couldn't not to. 

I had bills to pay. The money mama left me was gone within the first 5 months.

I didn't know New-York would be this cruel. Why couldn't I have dreamed of something less expensive?

"You know I have to, Izzy..." I rolled my eyes. "You know my situation perfectly. I don't have a choice." I explained.

When I first came to New-York, I innocently thought it would be all hearts and flowers.

I knew I had to work hard but I didn't expect this hard. I practically don't sleep. I can't even remember the last time I had a decent eight hours of sleep.

I survived on coffee and water. Maybe a protein bar here and there, to keep me hanging. It's not that I don't want to eat, but I can't afford the healthy meals.

It's been three months since I last paid my rent. I had to repair my laptop, I needed it for my classes. It was a miracle it still worked. I had it since middle school.

Currently, I was working in two part-time jobs. I was a waitress in a high-end restaurant in the fifth avenue. It had a beautiful panoramic view of the towering city skyline that I absolutely swooned over. I was assigned the late night shift, so I always watched elite society from a very close distance.

Women in fancy dresses and over the top expensive jewelry. Men with their overpriced suits and assemble, always trying to please their dates and compensate their lack of brains as would Marie say by stuffing their stomachs with food and decorating their necks with gold and diamonds.

Such a pity.

My second job is a cashier at a fast food place. Yup, the dream.

Actually, Izzy was the one who landed me the job. Her uncle was the manager and she got bored here by herself. Even though she was a rich girl, her parents didn't spoil her and raised her well. She understood that money wasn't something everyone had and that she should be thankful and grateful to have it.

She was studying in law school while I was enrolled in the engineering school. I had just two years left and I'd graduate and be a software engineer.

What I loved about my second job is that it was situated in the third avenue, where my dream job was.

Parvin Technologies Inc.