Numb Pain

Chapter 6

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Songs used:

Runaway - Maroon 5 (song pictured to the right of the screen)

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As we near the hospital, Ethan parks the car in the nearest space he can. I reach for the handle, clicking the door open and releasing myself from the snug warmth of the car. Ethan shifts to his side of the door, yet I shake my head at him.

"Stay. It'll only make things worse between us both. This is something I have to do alone. Please. For me." I say softly. His brow wrinkles but his eyes immediately melt.

"Alright," he relents "but if anything starts to happen, I'm going in there." He vows. I nod as we compromise.

"Thank you Ethan, for everything." I bow my head to him before making my way towards the sliding doors of the hospital.

~~~~~

Walking in, I scan the faces in the waiting room before catching a nurse as she strides past.

"Sorry. I'm looking for a man named Jai Peters?" I ask, my voice low in the noisy room. She gives me a pained look, one of apology and remorse, before leading me to a ward.

I gasp when I see him. Jai is lying unconscious beneath the sterile sheets, his face bloodied and beaten, his nose broken and his body bruised.

Maybe now you know how I feel.

Dismissing that selfish opinion, I kneel at his bedside. "Oh my god Jai, what have you done...?" I ask, my eyes raking his body, wanting my stare to heal his wounds. A groan sounds as I touch his face, yet he does not awake. A doctor approaches us, clipboard in hand.

"Ah yes, Eleanor Smith? Mr. Peters was asking for you when we brought him in." He says, giving me a smile. It was only then that I notice the photo frame on his bedside table. A picture of us in our younger days, an envelope beside it. I touch the glass of the frame, tears welling. "I'm afraid Mr. Peters was beaten up last night and then attempted to take his own life." The doctor has a sad expression on his face. "We are doing all we can to keep him stable. He's a very lucky man to even come as far as he has." He says, and then departs to give us a few minutes before Jai is checked by the nurses again. I reach for the envelope, my name scrawled in black ink. Jai's handwriting. Frowning, I thumb the top of the envelope, lifting out a piece of paper. I begin to read:

'Dear Ellie,

I'm sorry that I put you through so much pain and suffering. It is not how I was brought up and it is not what I promised to you when we were younger. If you're reading this letter, it's probably due to two things:

1. I am dead or
2. I am very, very ill.

I hope it is the first option, as I am disgusted at the way I have treated you. I don't blame you for not coming home, and I am deeply ashamed that I treated you how I did so much so that you were afraid to even enter the house. I was beaten up by some guys at the pub, and it made me realise how it must have affected you when I was doing the same. So I decided to take my life instead of live with the guilt and shame of losing you...I'm sorry. It is up to you to see if you can ever forgive me. I love you Ellie-bear.

Love,
Jai
xxxx'

Tears silently roll down my cheeks as I recall him calling me that nickname when we first met in high school. 'Ellie-bear'. It used to make me laugh because it was so corny, but now it is making me regret ever leaving. I turn to the back of the letter. Scrawled in dashed handwriting are the lyrics to a song that he used to send to me when we broke up in the old days. I remember it well.