Numb Pain

Chapter 26

NEW UPDATE! Okay, so I'm going to warn you guys that for some chapters, the author's note will move to the end of the chapter so that we can reflect on the events occurring in it. Big dramas are on their way, so keep reading! We love you all so much and please vote/comment!

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I see something flash in her eyes, yet it is concealed just as quickly. I remember that look. One of anger and fury. Jai pops into my head for a brief second, and it all becomes clear. His temper had come from her. I become momentarily shaken by this familiarity, as I know all too well what somebody with that level of physical power can do to someone like me. I'd experienced it all too well. I wince and avert my gaze towards George, who nestles comfortably in the depths of his pram. His eyes are shut and he has drifted into dreamland. Looking at him makes me realise that I now have something to protect, something that relies on my choices and depends on my survival for it's own. George is my lifeline. I clench my fists, knuckles bleaching. If I let her win, she'll continue to toy with my emotions. It's time to face my demons.

I stare her in the eyes, lifting my head high. I won't be defeated. I have lived too long under the thumb of Jai, and I sure as hell shouldn't have to live in fear from this witch that plans to do the same. Her smile is twisted. It's not the same smirk that adorned Jai's face, the one that I had grown to love. She was taller than me by a few centimetres, yet it felt like this woman was towering over me, trying to dominate me. I keep my eye contact. "I think you're making a big mistake Miss. Smith." She begins to antagonise me, her mouth curling into a smile. But it isn't one that you can imply as friendly. It is one of malice. I'd only met her fleetingly before, but I knew she didn't think very much of me. My eyes flick to take in George's vulnerable form. She picks up on this gesture and her own dark voids creep towards her sleeping grandson. "I presume this is Jai's. Unless you've been with your flat mate behind his back. Oh, that's another thing. I'm sure Jai would've been delighted to know where you were staying, huh? You and that guy seemed pretty close, and I doubt you secured such a bond from planning my dead son's funeral." She scoffs. The way that this woman directs my beautiful baby as an object infuriates me and I grind my teeth to avoid slapping her. If I do, she'll have accomplished what she came to do. To paint me in a bad light. Plus, she's the type to file assault charges against me.

"Don't you dare talk about my baby or Ethan like that. Say what you want about me, but don't you ever insult the people that have kept me alive. You might not value your son or even be upset that he's dead, but I loved him and I still do. Nothing will ever change that. You shouldn't have even been at the funeral. He wouldn't have wanted you there in all honesty. You BROKE him." I say through clenched teeth, spitting the last few words as if they were poison. She seems impressed by my gallant approach, but her eyes narrow.

"Jai was a troubled boy. A boy I didn't want. I didn't want to be pregnant, I never wanted that for myself. But mistakes happen, and that's how Jai happened." I am mortified as she admits this shamelessly.

"Get out." I say dismissively, but her mouth just lifts into a Cheshire grin. "You are the most disgusting woman I have ever met. GET OUT." I shout, stalking towards the door and throwing it open for her.

"My pleasure. It's been great doing business with you darling. Send the cheque first class." She waves a hand over her shoulder and calmly extracts herself from the room. I am seething, and my shouting has awakened George. He begins to scream and I launch myself towards the breakfast bar, shoving my hands into my hair. I can't deal with this anymore.

Cold descends over the room all of a sudden, and I know it's him. Tears cascade down my cheeks but George ultimately grows silent. I turn to find myself hallucinating again. My little boy stares with adoration at the form above him, as the man I think is Jai bends to the baby and kisses his forehead softly.

"Why...?" I ask, my soft footfalls echo as I walk towards this mirage. "Why do I always have to suffer? Why do I still love you when all you've ever brought me is pain?" I wonder aloud, but the image fades. I feel the sudden contact in my hand, trying to interlock their fingers with mine. But of course, they can't because this isn't real. He's dead Ellie, stop torturing yourself.

"Stay strong Ellie-bear" comes the faint whisper, his husky masculine voice drawling my nickname.

After the house incident, I hadn't expected to see these hallucinations again. George stares in awe but as I try to collect my words, the cold of the room lifts. Warmth floods through the apartment and I shudder. At least now I know I'm not the only one that can see him, but why is an exception made for me and George? The world can only wonder.