Numb Pain

Chapter 8

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My vision blurs as I finally become conscious. I can't focus correctly, or place the images in front of me. What I can see glows softly. And that's when I slip back into my realm of darkness.

"Ellie...Ellie...Ellie?" comes a gentle voice as a hot palm reaches up to my cheek. My eyes fling open at the sudden contact. It is familiar. "Oh my god Ellie! You're awake!" I drag my heavy eyelids to each face that is standing over me. Doctors. Nurses. I glance down in panic, realising I am in a hospital bed. "You're going to be okay now Ellie..." comes the same voice. I recognise it immediately and my eyes snap to his form.

Jai.

What? I thought he was fighting for his life in a ward somewhere? It's as if we've switched places. How ironic. I'd always thought he'd place me here one day, near to death. But his face is twisted with concern and fright instead of its usual smugness and danger. His eyes dart around my face as he strokes my cheek. "I was so scared..." He mutters.

"Where am I?" I croak, my throat raw. Jai tilts his head.

"You've been in a coma for three weeks Ellie..." He says gently, moving his hand to fall over mine. I flinch instinctively, and shame crosses his face as he feels it, taking his hand away. "You're lucky. Some guy phoned an ambulance for you. Seemed really concerned when he came to the hospital. The doctors discharged me a few days ago, so I came straight to your bedside." He mumbles, keeping his gaze low as he shuffles uncomfortably. A coma? I vividly remember the moments before I passed out all of those weeks ago. Wait...a guy had rung the ambulance? Ethan! So he did care. But where is he now? I brace myself and my vision falls on Jai.

"Where is he now?"

"The guy? I don't know. He didn't come back." comes Jai's simple reply, frowning as to why it would be so important to me. But before he can question me, the doctor intervenes.

"Mr. Peters, if I could speak to Miss Smith for a moment?" He asks. Jai nods and is lead out by a nurse, the curtain wrapping around my bed. "Miss Smith, you have been extremely fortunate. You could have suffered brain damage if you had been induced any longer. You've escaped with your life. We'll be keeping you under examination for a couple of weeks or more as we have to make sure you're healthy for discharging. We'll probably be running some scans and tests too." He informs me and I nod, hiding my disappointment at surviving.

No more suffering.

~~~~~

I've been here for a few days now, and each day Jai visits me, leaving flowers at my bedside. I dread visiting time. He is just about to leave, after sitting by my dormant form for two hours or more, as the nurse comes to check on me. She smiles warmly, and I feel safe in her presence almost immediately.

"What a considerate boyfriend you have, I'd kill to have a guy like him..." She grins at me, plumping the pillows up behind me. If only you knew. She watches fondly as he leaves and I reply with a simple,

"Yeah." She doesn't notice the edge in my voice. Ethan still hasn't turned up to see me. "Have you seen the guy who phoned the ambulance?" I ask, my voice raspy.

"Oh yeah. Nice guy. He came in with a blonde girl, probably not much older than you." She says with a small smile. My heart plummets. A girl? Has Ethan moved on already? "He came to check on your wellbeing one late night, yet visiting time was over. We couldn't let him in I'm afraid. However we did update him on your progress and he seemed relieved. Why, do you know him?" She asks. I shake my head after a moment of hesitation.

"Just wondering I guess." I offer. We remain in silence as she checks my blood pressure before leaving.

~~~~~

The next morning, my stomach begins to heave. Nurses rush to my side, holding a cardboard dish under my mouth. I begin to vomit unrelentingly and the doctor is called to my bedside. Managing to calm myself, I lean back in exhaustion. The doctor frowns, as I have done this each morning for three days. He begins to palpitate my stomach and his frown deepens.

"What?" I ask, yet he just asks for a scan to be given to him as soon as possible. With nobody informing me, I decide the only thing that I can do is escape in my sleep until somebody is ready to update me.

~~~~~

A few days later, Jai is crouched beside my bed as usual, new flowers in the vase. He's brought my childhood teddybear and one of the many pictures of us. I am sluggish and exhausted from trying to gauge each reaction he gives me. Each quick hand movement, each demonic stare.

Please don't hit me. Please don't hit me.

How silly of me...he can't hit me. Not in a hospital, a public place. Or can he? The thought makes me shiver as he reiterates how much he loves me and how scared he's been. You weren't scared when you were throwing your fists into my stomach. You didn't love me when you were raping me. I am just an object to you.

The doctor wanders to my bed, his eyes lifting to meet mine. He requests for Jai to leave for a minute whilst he talks to me.

"Your test results have come back." He says, yet his voice is monotonous and I can't decide what emotion he is holding.

"And? What's the verdict?" I ask eagerly, hanging onto his reply.

"You're pregnant."