Why me?! (A Justin Bieber Fanfic)

Chapter 25: Weird Dream

Sheyla’s POV 

I slowly open my eyes and I see the room is still dark, I look around and see that Justin isn’t in the bed. I sit up and get off the bed; I walk out and go straight to Drew’s room, I walk in to find Justin feeding Drew and rocking him back to sleep. I lean against the door frame and I smile, Justin turns around and slightly jumps and then he smiles and carries on trying to get Drew back to sleep. Once Drew gets back to sleep, Justin puts him back in his crib. I walk over to him. 

“I’d never thought we’d be this happy, or that I’d be with you or I’d have a beautiful baby with you.” I say and sigh happily.

“I didn’t think I’d end up with you, I thought you’d hate me forever.” Justin says as he pulls me into a hug, I rest my head on his chest. Yes, I’m shorter than Justin, so much shorter. He rests his chin on the top of my head; I wrap my arms around him and pull him closer to me. I really don’t want to be out of his embrace, he is so warm. He picks me up and I bury my head into his chest even more, he begins to walk somewhere but I don’t take any notice as I close my eyes and begin to drift off again. 

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3 hours later

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I’m woken up by hearing Drew crying through the baby monitor, I open my eyes only to be blinded by the light. I sigh and quickly get out of bed and go into Drew’s room, I see him fidgeting. I pick him up and begin to rock him a little, I hear footsteps behind me and humming and I instantly can tell it’s Justin. I pass Drew to Justin and walk back into the bedroom; I lay on the bed and all these thoughts begin to spring to mind. I’m going to be a bad mother, he’s going to hate me, and I can’t even stop my own baby from crying. I burst into tears just as Justin walks into the room, I curl up into a ball and my body shakes with every breath that I take. I feel Justin pull me into him and I grip onto his shirt, without knowing what’s going on he begins to whisper that everything is okay. But is it really? These thoughts are things that will constantly be in the back of my mind, nagging at me. 

“What if he hates me?” I say through my loud sobs. 

“Who could hate you?” Justin whispers, I shrug.

“Drew,” 

“Drew could never hate you Sheyla, listen to me baby. Drew will never, ever hate you. You are perfect and our son will love you,” 

“No he won’t, I can’t even stop him from crying. I’m a horrible mother, and I’ll run away just like the other times.” I say and bury my head in his chest. Justin chuckles at my attempt to hide. 

“I’m here, I’ll always be here to help you baby.” Justin says and kisses my forehead again. 

“No, you can’t help this time Justin. Not everything is fixable; he’ll hate me because I can’t even look after him.” I shout. I push him away from me. Why does he think that everything can be solved by the click of a finger? It can’t. He needs to face reality and realise that not everything and everyone is fixable, I’m broken and I’ve tried to fix myself but it’s impossible. I know I know, they say that everything is possible. They aren’t me though. I look over at Justin and see that he’s staring me. 

“Stop looking at me like that, I’m- I’m going to sleep in the guest room tonight.” I say and slowly get up; I bite my lip and quickly walk out the room. I don’t think I could stand being in the same room as him tonight, not when I think he’s judging me. He seems all positive but really I think, no. I know that he is thinking about leaving me and taking Drew, like I did to him. Justin and Drew are what are keeping me strong right now, if I lose them I don’t know what I’d do. I walk into the spare room and look around the room; I haven’t really been in here before. I sigh and get in the perfectly made bed; I hadn’t put a light on because it was unnecessary. I stare up at the ceiling, in hope of falling asleep but I’m unsuccessful, I force my eyes closed and think about everything. Slowly I could feel myself falling into a deep sleep.