My thighs are too big.
My eyes, they look like they're squinting even when its wide open.
My cheeks takes up 70% of my face.
My laugh isn't cute or adorable.
My voice is deep.
My insights are usually overseen.
My teenage life encompasses a group of girls who, despite their flaws here and there, were perfect to others' eyes. Their jokes weren't offensive, they're pretty despite their acne, they're sociable. I grew up trying my hardest to be that, and I failed miserably.
It wasn't until I was 20 that I realize that I don't need to be those things. I don't need to continuously make jokes to entertain the people around me, I don't have to gossip just for the sake of talking, and I don't have to be in another skin, just to 'fit in' with my clique.
Despite that, sometimes, I find myself wondering if I'm still enough for the people around me. I wonder if I'm being a good friend to my long distance buddy in the States. I think about how my actions daily, affects my points in the girlfriend scale. I dream about being the perfect role model to my sisters, knowing full-well I'm just not.
I'd never be thin like those girls on Instagram.
I would never be able to do things my sister does and understand her perspective, however hard I try.
I'd always feel unneeded, unwanted when my boyfriend is busy with his family.
Sometimes I feel like I want to live far away from society, alone in a beautiful forest. I wouldn't have to think about pleasing anyone besides the nature and animals around me. I wouldn't have to mentally compete with another girl for my sister's attention and affection. I wouldn't have to constantly wonder if I'm a good girlfriend.
But reality strikes...
and I'm still and would never be good enough.
