There was a time where the thought of me skipped your heart a little. There was a time when I knew you better than anyone else; that was the time I knew that regardless you would stay and be patient with me. There was a time when you'd take the train to come see me despite your hatred for public transportation. There was a time when we would sit in the car till 4 in the morning, just talking. There was a time when our moments were filled with only laughter, barely tears. My cheeks hurt from laughing not stained with tears.
Now all I have for you is tears. Tears for I no longer know you. Tears for when I tell someone about you, a little part of me inside cringe because thats not you anymore. Tears for the frustration; frustration for I see nothing but doom in our future. Tears for the nights where I just wish you could be in my shoes for a moment to feel the dam of emotions in me just wanting to burst. Tears for when I've had so many attempts to make you understand, crying out for your help for I am drowning, but all that is felt was as if there was an invisible wall between us. You don't understand.
It hurts because its love. It wouldn't if it wasn't. Perhaps this is the true mark of me falling in love with you after all these while. That my fear and paranoia of losing you; thats the true measure of my attraction and affections for you, for I wouldn't be afraid, this afraid of losing you if you meant close to nothing.
I am crying because I know you're the one. But theres so many things about you now that makes me so unhappy, especially ones you don't see. So many things I hope to happen, only to have my dreams shattered into ashes. All my love for you, wasted in the sea of tears.
All there is now, is was.
Oh the beautiful memories, my darling....
