Being A Kpop Idol [Updated]

3

Exams are finally over! Sorry for the longggg wait. Makakabawi ako sa chapter na to! Lovelots sa lahat ng nagbabasa! <3

Chapter 3: Absence

Kakauwi ko lang galing school at dumiretso na ako sa dorm ko sa YG. Mag-isa lang ang sa dorm since wala pang bagong trainees na pwede kong maging ka-roommate.

Tinanggal ko ang sapatos ko at inilagay yon sa shoe cabinet. Nagbihis na ako ng comfortable clothes pang training.

Sinuot ko na ang rubber shoes ko at pumunta sa Vocal room, kung saan nagaganap ang vocal lessons. Patagal ng patagal ay parami na ng parami ang trainees dito. Dumating na ang vocal coach namin at lahat kami ay tumayo ng tuwid at nagbow sa kanya.

"Where is Jaemin?" she asked. Naglingunan kami para tignan kung nandito nga ba si Jaemin. Malamang gusto lang niyan mag-ditch, psh. Bakit pa siya nag-audition?

"Nasa hospital daw po si Jaemin. Di daw po siya makakapag-training hangga't di pa siya nakakarecover." sabi ng isang trainee na kaclose niya. Everybody was shocked, kahit ako. Paano siya na-ospital? Bakit siya na-ospital? Kelan pa siya nagka-sakit?

"Everybody shut it with the whispers. Let's proceed." sabi ni coach at inisa-isa na kami. Patingin-tingin ako sa pinto at baka sakaling pumasok pa siya. Di ako nag-aalala, sadyang hindi lang talaga ako sanay na walang nangungulit sakin tuwing training. Buti nalang wala siya. Magkakaroon na rin ako ng peaceful life.

Pumila kami isa-isa sa vocal studio. Naririnig ko yung boses nila at sobrang ganda nito. My voice wasn't really my specialty, I was more into dancing. Pero I was placed in the 'main vocal' position. Kaya mas doble ang strikto ng training sa akin.

"Song Jihye" tawag ng assistant coach at pumasok na ako sa loob. The trainer is very beautiful, at lahat kami ay humahanga sa boses niya. She was a former professional musician here at YG.

Nagsimula na ang 10 minute session at medyo hindi naging maganda ito..

Kumakanta ka ba talaga? Para kang tumutula!

Lower! Abutin mo ang last note! Don't make me repeat myself!

ugh, focus! Your voice is trembling!

What are you doing?! stop making self-tones!

The 10 minute session was over at lahat ng sinabi niya ay lumabas sa utak ko. Sigh. Lumabas na ako ng vocal studio at nagproceed sa SECOND vocal lesson. There are 3 coaches in total, different charismas and styles. At lahat sila ay strict. Minsan napapaiyak nalang kami eh.

Hours and hours have passed at 7pm na. Lahat kami ay pumunta na sa cafeteria para kumain. We are following the paper cup diet this week. Then the sweet potato diet, the vegetable diet, basta lahat ng uri ng diet.

Yung isang cup ay filled with rice, na nakakatatlong subo lang ako dito. The other is filled with meat, at yung last cup ay gulay. The diet was tough, pero ano nga ba choice ko?

After 30 mins. ng pagpapahinga at free time, nagproceed naman kami sa dance studio. It's a wide room covered in full wall mirrors, and polished wooden floor. Dumating na ang coach at nagsimula na kaming mag training. We were practicing a choreography of Blackpink, As If Its Your Last.

Di ito mahirap, pero ang nakakatense, nanonood yung blackpink sa harap namin! They were smiling, whispering to each other, and laughing together. My mind was full of curiosity of why they are laughing.

"Ya, stop stop! Haesoo, what is wrong with you today? Mukha kang kiti-kiti! Back to the top!" napatingin kami lahat kay Haesoo na sobrang lamya. Everybody held a deep sigh at umulit. Nakita ko si Haesoo na naluluha na. Haesoo was actually one of the most talented and has the toughest vocals here, pero the coaches still treat everyone equally. They're too harsh.

Training ended at lahat kami ay pagod na pagod na. Lahat sila ay pumunta na sa sari-sariling dorm nila. Pumunta muna ako saglit sa cafeteria para uminom ng tubig. Pabalik na sana ako sa dorm ko nang may narinig ako na umiiyak sa dance studio.

Sumilip ako saglit dito at nakita ko si Haesoo na sumasayaw kahit paulit-ulit siya na natutumba.

"Haesoo-ya" tawag ko sa kanya. Nagulat siya nang makita ako. I wasn't really that friendly type at wala talaga akong kinakausap na kahit sinong trainee. "Tulungan kita" sabi ko. Di naman ako masyadong busy ngayon at di pa rin ako nakatulog dahil sa nangyari.

"Saan ka bang part nahihirapan?" tanong ko at lumapit sa kanya.

Nagsimula ko na siyang turuan at patagal ng patagal ay nag iimprove na siya. Marunong naman talaga siya sumayaw eh, baka nas-stress lang talaga siya. She's been a trainee for 8 years, pero di parin siya nagdedebut. I feel bad for her. She's been doing all of this harsh training for 8 years.

"Ito ba talaga ang gusto mo?" I asked her. She paused. "8 years ka nang trainee diba? Ito ba talaga ang gusto mo?"

"Hindi." she said. "I was forced. My mother forced me to be a trainee. Ni di ko nga to pinapangarap. I hated my voice. I hated myself."

"Ano ibigsabihin mo?"

"Since I was 7, I was treated like a princess already. All of the girls hated me because I was getting treated special. The boys would always annoy me by asking me if they can court me. Companies were forcing me to join them because of my voice that they heard during the contest. My teachers would always give me high grades without me trying, which I hated. Even now, the trainees hated me. YG regretted why he made me a trainee when I'm not even dedicated to be one." inexplain niya. I felt sorry for her. Pangarap ko pa naman na maging ganun dati, pero ang hirap pala.

"I shouldn't be even saying this to you. Its late, we should get going now. Thanks by the way." sabi niya at kinuha ang bag niya. Umalis na siya ng room at naiwan ako mag-isa.

Bumalik nalang din ako sa dorm ko, absorbing everything in my mind.

Everything is just wrong.

****