The Marauders Guide on How to Have a Good Time At Hogwarts - Story Edition

We are not allowed to set up a giant trampoline and attempt to jump out onto it.

"I don't think this is a good idea," Peter said, looking out the window with wide eyes.

"Of course it's a good idea," Sirius replied back, "It's a genius idea! Never has there been a greater idea in the history of great ideas."

"Tell us what you really think, Padfoot," James replied with a smirk, "I don't think I really know how good of an idea this actually is."

"Why, my dear Prongs, it was the best of ideas, not the worst of ideas, in an age of wisdom, where there was no foolishness. It was the epoch – "

"I really regret letting you borrow my copy of A Tale of Two Cities," Remus interrupted, not bothering to lift his head from the papers he was pouring over.

"Yeah, he did become a bit more insufferable when he started quoting literature to back up his claims," James added thoughtfully.

"A bit?" Remus interjected dryly.

"Ha ha," Sirius said sarcastically, shooting each of the boys a dirty look, "You're both so funny."

"Can we get back to the issue at hand?" Peter asked with a huff, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

Sirius whirled around on his heels, and asked brightly, "And what issue would that be?"

"That despite your claims, this is not a good idea," Peter replied definitively, pointing out the window at what he was referring to.

Both James and Sirius leaned forward to look out the window at what Peter was talking about.

Down below, waiting on the green, grassy lawns of the Hogwarts grounds, was a giant trampoline.

"I don't see the problem," James admitted, turning back to look at Peter.

"The problem is that I'm not going to be the one to jump out this window to my certain death," Peter hissed, glancing around nervously to make sure that no one could hear him.

Sirius scoffed, "You wouldn't be jumping to your certain death."

"Yeah," James added with a smirk, "The odds gotta at least be 70/30."

"Oh, yes, because that makes me feel so much better," Peter pouted, leaning against the wall next to Remus.

"Peter Paul Pomillion Pierre Pettigrew Wormtail," Sirius started with a shake of his head.

"That's not my name – " Peter sighed in exasperation, but Sirius ignored him.

"We all have a role in our group here," he continued, pointing over to Remus who was sitting pouring over his notes, "Remus here is the boring one that is in charge of the logistics."

"You mean, making sure you sorry lot don't get killed?" Remus corrected, rolling his eyes.

Sirius waved his comment away, "Like I said. The boring stuff. James over here is the comic relief. Although," Sirius added thoughtfully, "To be honest mate, you've really been slacking lately on your duty. Perhaps you should work on that."

"I'll get right on that," James replied with an amused smile, as he leaned against the wall and waited for Sirius to continue.

"My job," he said, pointing to himself, "is to come up with the brilliant ideas. Not to mention I'm the best looking one of the group, and being so attractive is a full-time job in itself."

Remus and James both snorted simultaneously, causing Sirius to shoot them both a dirty look to get them to quiet down. When they were finished, he turn around so he was facing Peter once again.

"Your job is to test out our ideas to make sure that there are no flaws in Remus' design," he concluded.

"Nope," Peter replied immediately, "Not doing it."

Sirius groaned, letting his head fall back as he turned away, "Fine, James will do it then."

"I'll fight ya for it, mate," James immediately retorted.

Sirius narrowed his eyes, "You're on."

The two boys quickly stretched their limbs, bending over to reach their toes, lifting their arms high into the air, squatting a couple of times for extra flexibility, and cracking all of their knuckles.

"You ready?" Sirius asked, his face set in determination.

"Let's do this," James replied with a nod.

They both held out one hand, so it was flat and facing up, while the other was brought to hover over it in a closed fist.

"1 – 2 – 3 – Shoot?" James asked in confirmation.

Sirius nodded, and the two began to chant in unison.

"Rock, Paper, Scissors, Shoot!"

James let out a whoop when his fingers were down in the shape of scissors, and Sirius' hand was flat against his other palm in the shape of paper.

Sirius cursed under his breath, "Best two out of three?"

James easily beat Sirius on the next round as well.

Sirius huffed, "I'm still not convinced you won."

"Paper beats Rock, Pads," James laughed.

"That doesn't even make any sense!" Sirius insisted, pouting for a brief moment before asking, "Best five out of seven?"

After three more rounds where Sirius lost miserably, he asked, "Best twelve out of twenty?"

"Sirius, you are terrible at this game. Quit playing and accept you've lost," Remus chimed in, putting an end to the game that could have lasted for hours.

Sirius huffed, "Ugh, fine. I'll test out the trampoline. Since apparently I have to do everything around here."

"Something we all greatly appreciate, I assure you," James said to him with a clap on his back, steering him to the third floor window.

Peter joined the two, and the three looked out the window at their faux landing pad below.

Sirius visibly gulped, "Perhaps we should run a few more calculations."

James shook his head, "No time like the present, mate. Sometimes you need to just grab life by the balls and swing them high in the air."

"I don't think that's how that saying goes," Remus replied, finally putting his papers down and walking over to join the others.

Sirius ignored Remus and turned to Peter, "And you're sure you don't want to – "

Peter shook his head, answering before Sirius could finish, "No, you got this."

Sirius nodded, and took a deep breath, stepping forward.

"Here we go," he said, standing completely still.

James and Peter shared a look and Peter leaned forward and gently nudged Sirius out the window.

He jumped forward out of reflex, flailing his arms and screaming out.

The three boys left behind stepped forward, leaning their heads out the window to watch the aftermath.

Instead of landing on the trampoline, Sirius landed three feet to the right.

His whimpers could be heard from the third floor.

"Ah, yes, just as I suspected," Remus said, turning to the other two, "I believe our calculations were off and the trampoline needs to be moved slightly to the right."

James raised an eyebrow, gesturing out the window where their friend was shouting obscenities at them, "Ya think?"

"Do you think someone should go down and help him?" Peter asked, his eyes still on the figure below.

"Not it," Remus immediately answered, his index finger flying to his nose.

Peter quickly scrambled, his own finger touching his nose as he shouted, "not it," just barely before James did.

James groaned, "Fine, I'll go down and take him to the Hospital Wing."

"And you're the better man for it," Remus replied solemnly, patting him on the arm before grabbing his things and motioning for Peter to follow him.

James took a deep breath before calmly walking down the steps to head to the front lawn.