By Your Side || m.yg

2

Park Jiyeon sits alone in her room for another day, but instead of on her bed, she has perched herself on the shelf above her bed and is staring outside. She watches birds and small creatures run and fly by the window and into view. She cannot see the entrance of the institution, but can see the grounds that some of her fellow patients walk during the day. She knows everyone's face and most of their names. But most of the new patients she's had no contact with, therefore she hasn't learned their name. She watches men and women, boys and girls, sit on benches, walk to and from, sit in the grass. Some talk, some sit alone, some stare off into space, some do activities like write or draw or paint or play music.

The institution offers a lot of outlets for creativity, in hopes that patients will use them to channel their negative and sometimes hostile emotions instead of hurting themselves or others. Some write songs about how they feel and share them in therapy groups or to each other. Some write stories about their experiences and hang them up or put them in the lounge for people to read. Some people draw or paint or sculpt, letting it all go onto one messy page or something. Sometimes, the doctors suggest to patients to use these outlets if they think it will help. Jiyeon has never had her therapist or doctors or nurse suggest to her to use these activities. Sometimes she is curious as to why, but she never asks. She rarely speaks up in therapy actually, only nodding or using gestures or body language to give answers or explain them.

She sees a few people she doesn't recognize walk around and she watches them. They don't belong here, she concludes, which to her means they aren't patients. They're guests of some kind and she wonders if their family of patients that she hasn't interacted with. Upon further observation, she concludes that they're introducing themselves to patients. Are they new doctors? She watches more, longer and longer, more intently. Jiyeon studies their actions and then questions if they're other participants in the new program. She tilts her head as she tries to read their body language, something she's gotten rather good at over time. She concludes they are guests, ones for the program. Just as Jiyeon announces her conclusion to herself, there's a knock on her door. She snaps her head in the direction of the swinging piece of wood as it opens in to her room.

"What are you doing up there?" Yoongi asks, rather confused but not shocked by her animal like perch.

She looks out the window and goes back to staring.

"People watching?" He asks, walking over to look out to the yard. She nods at his question. "Do you do this a lot?"

She shrugs.

"I like people watching," Yoongi says, sitting down on the bed underneath her and looks out. They sit in silence while watching the people outside. Yoongi suddenly sees something flash in front of him and without warning, Jiyeon is back on the ground and facing him.

"Hi," she smiles.

"Hi," he nods back. Yoongi wonders if she'll talk to him more if he comes more often. "How have you been?"

Jiyeon nods happily, conveying her emotions simply.

"That's good."

She looks at him as if asking him how he's been.

"I've been fine thank you."

She smiles at his response and sits down. Yoongi looks over at her and watches her body language. She seems tense momentarily when she sits next to him on the bed, but she relaxes rather quickly after setting in. He also takes note of how she holds herself, especially her hands. She wrings them close to her chest and neck, kind of like a child does when they're asking a weird or dumb question. Yoongi notices that a good deal of her body language seems softly childlike. Is that part of her mental illness? It doesn't make sense. Why would they pair someone with that kind of mental issue with him? His link is depression and anxieties...

"If you don't mind me asking..." He starts but she shakes her head. She isn't ready to have that conversation yet. Inside, Jiyeon thinks that if she tells him the reason she's been here for so long, her real story, it will freak him out. She's no killer, or stalker, or anything extreme, but her story is not for the light hearted. Especially the most recent developments. She hugs her knees to her chest and stares at the ground.

"Why did you come today?" She asks softly. Yoongi notices her voice seems shaky and like it trembles with each syllable.

"I was scheduled to."

She nods. His answer is what she expected, but for some reason, it's not what she wanted to hear. She won't deny it, she likes having someone to have visit her, but she secretly wishes it wasn't because he's forced to or it's part of being a schedule. It's so secret, however, that Jiyeon herself isn't totally aware that that's what she means.

"Do you like when I visit? I'm just curious," Yoongi asks. Jiyeon finds herself nodding yes. "Is it because you just like that someone visits, or is it because it's me?"

She holds up two fingers meaning both.

"How can it be both?" Yoongi almost scoffs.

"I like that someone visits yes, but it's just special that it's you."

"Because I'm Min Yoongi, Suga?"

"You're also nice. And relaxed," she speaks with a tone of shyness to her voice. He nods.

"Thank you. I don't care much for chaos, plus I'm not really here to goof around too much."

She looks at him as if asking what is he here for.

"To help you get better or something. You have been here for a while. Why is that?"

She shakes her head, refusing to answer.

"Okay." Yoongi nods his head, not really caring much. Maybe she just wants to have someone to talk to. He tries to look around her room to see anything to ask about or make conversation over.

"Do you climb around here a lot?" He asks.

Jiyeon nods.

"Why?"

"It's fun," she smiles happily. It seems to him that it's something she really does like actually.

"So you just monkey around the rafters?"

She nods with the smile still on her face.

"Did you used to have a swing or something?" Yoongi questions, pointing to the rope tied around one beam. With that, her face falls and she freezes in her place. She looks like she's imagining something or reliving a rather harsh memory and Yoongi regrets asking. But how would he know, she doesn't say anything beforehand to let him know of what he can ask and can't.

He checks his watch and realizes almost an hour has passed. He looks at Jiyeon who looks really upset now and so he tries to comfort her but she rejects him. Finally, he rises and thanks her for letting him visit. She nods and waves goodbye limply. He shuts her door and tells a nurse he's leaving.

"How did she seem today?" The nurse asks.

"Fine, but touchy about a lot of questions I asked."

"About what, can I ask?"

"I asked her about why she's been here for so long and why she has rope in her room on a beam."

"Oh..." The nurse nods, her expression falling for a moment.

"Did something happen?"

"A few months ago, yes."

"What?"

"There was an...incident...I can't really disclose any information, confidentiality and all."

"Do you think Jiyeon will ever talk about anything more than small talk?"

"If you really get close to her, maybe. She has been rather reserved as of recent, for reason attached to the rope..."

Yoongistill doesn't get it, so as he leaves, he tries to figure out what it is thatcaused Park Jiyeon so much trouble. Even when he walks into the BTS dorm, hehas no clue so he gives up on the idea of figuring it out until next time.Maybe then, he'll find ways to ask without it being obvious and he can get theanswers he wants.