By Your Side || m.yg

9

Yoongi walks into the institution, and takes the stairs up to Jiyeon's floor. He bows to the nurses he passes and nods politely to the other patients. He goes straight to Jiyeon's room and opens her door.

"Knock knock," he says as the door creaks open. He steps in and looks to Jiyeon's bed. It's vacant. He looks around and finds her in the rafters. "Want to come down and talk to me?"

She sighs and swings down and perches on her shelf.

"Maybe the ground?"

She shakes her head.

"What's with you today? You're acting off."

She shrugs.

"Are we not talking to me again?"

She remains silent.

"Did something happen today?" He asks more concerned, closing the door all the way.

"My therapy is a joke."

"Why is that?"

She refuses to respond. She only looks him up and down. The questions she's been meaning to ask crosses her mind. "What is your link to me?"

"What?"

"Why did they pair you with me? I'm obviously some kind of extreme case, so why would they pair an idol like you with me?"

Her tone is angry, something Yoongi's never seen in her. He is curious as to what brought it about.

"Well, I battled some severe depression for a long time. And I attempted suicide too. I also have social anxiety."

Jiyeon scoffs.

"What's that for?" He scoffs back.

"So your link is depression and a suicide attempt?"

"I guess. I definitely don't have a back story like yours."

"Clearly..." She says. "So why would they pair you with me?"

"Maybe because I'm patient?" He shrugs.

"Patient? When you first met me, you threatened to leave if I didn't speak up."

"Because I figured you never would. I dunno."

There's a lull.

"Can I ask you something?" Yoongi asks calmly.

She nods.

"Why do you refuse to get better?"

"Who do I have to get better for?! My father is an abuser and my mom abandoned me! Who cares about a depressed, traumatized, isolated, fucked up, unpure, suicidal girl like me?"

Her tone is hostile and furious. Her words about herself are spit with a kind of anger that is fueled by years of torment and lack of support. Yoongi looks at her eyes flicker with rage.

"Is this what made you so angry today? Did your therapist talk to you about this?"

"He said I'm still here because I refuse to get better."

"And?"

"I retorted with what do I have to get better for? Or who for that matter..." She trails off, looking away from him.

Yoongi thinks hard about what she said. He adds self loathing to the list for her. He watches her expression fall slowly from rage to sadness, as she wallows in her mind. He wonders what kinds of things she thinks about herself for real. He almost asks her, but figures it would only make her more upset.

"Get better for me," he finally says. She looks at him with surprise.

"What did you just say?"

"Get better for me. You need something or someone to be your reason to get out of here. Have me be that reason."

She rolls her eyes. "Yeah, because you actually care..."

"If I didn't care, why would I come and visit you all the time and apologize for leaving when I got upset and even be suggesting this in the first place?"

She doesn't respond.

"I do care about you, Jiyeon. I hate seeing you upset like this and I can tell you really do want a reason to get out of here."

"But you're an idol, what do I actually matter to you in the grand scheme of things?"

"You mean enough that I want to do whatever I can to help you get out of here and build a good life for yourself."

She doesn't believe he's being serious until she takes a look at him. His face reads genuinely, assuring her that he means what he says. Her face softens as she releases the tension in her body and faces him fully.

"How do I know you're serious?"

"Because I don't joke around with stuff like this. I needed a support system when I was in a dark place and for a while I didn't have it. But once I got my mom and dad on board and my best friends to understand, I had all I needed. And I know that once you have one solid person in your life, you'll go places with them by your side."

"And you'll stay by my side?" She asks. She is not quizzical, not interrogative, not offensive, not rude, just unsure. Her face is soft and that like a child, cautious of new people and strangers, unaware of if she is to really trust him or not. While Yoongi is no stranger to Jiyeon, the idea of him is strange. Someone promising to stay by her side and help her.

"Ipromise."