My Older Brother

Chapter 5

Remember when I said this summer would turn out alright? Well I was wrong, so so wrong.

The night had started out great, I was sitting on the couch eating popcorn watching my second movie of the night. I took a drink of my pop that I left on the table, letting out a sigh in content as I snuggled more into the coach. I was interrupted by the door slamming opened then shut.

Elliot came staggering in the front door, his hair was a mess and his eyes were blood shot. He threw off his jacket, the thick material hitting the floor. He struggled to get his shoes off, but soon got frustrated and kicked them off. The shoes hit the potted plant by the door knocking it over, all the fake dirt spilled on the ground. A mess I knew I would most likely be cleaning up later.

He staggered to the kitchen walking up to the fridge opening it then closing it, he repeated that process two more times before completely walking away from the fridge. He paced up and down the kitchen muttering inaudible words under his breath.

"Are you okay?" I asked standing up, I was worried about him.

He whipped his head in my direction giving me a death glare. I stood wide eyed, shocked.

"You!" he shouted storming in my direction. He stood in front of me so close I could smell the alcohol coming off his breath.

"Me?"

"She is dead and she is never coming back! And do you know who's fault that is?" he asks leaning closer to me,

"Yours"

I was overwhelmed, everything had been great this morning we were talking and laughing, We were acting like normal brother and sister and now he was yelling.

"My fault? I didn't want her to get cancer! I didn't want my mother to die!" I shouted at him as my vision became blurry with tears.

"We didn't have enough money! Dad lost his job! Mom was in the hospital! and Xander's pizza delivery job sure as hell wasn't making enough money! Mom and Dad had four kids, they didn't have enough money to pay for medicals bills and support us all! So it is your fault! Maybe if you weren't born mom would still be alive! Maybe without you we could have payed for all those bills! Its your fault, Dove! You always ruin everything" Elliot shouted at me, pointing a finger acussingly in my direction.

I covered my mouth with my hand as a sob broke through my body. Hot tears streamed down my face as I shook. Elliot froze, his once hard glare turing into utter guilt.

"Dove I-I didn't..I don't-" he stuttered reaching a hand out towards me.

I flinched away from Elliot's hand backing away. I shook my head as I sobbed harder looking around. The stairs were right next to me so I bolted to them. I ran up the stairs hearing Elliot calling my name faintly. I ran down the hall, bumping into walls as my vision was completely blurred with my tears.

I ran into my room slamming the door shut behind me. I didn't make it to my bed before I fell to the ground sobs taking over my body. Elliot was right, this was all my fault. If I hadn't of been born mom would have had a better chance of survival, they would have had more money. They would all be so happy. I had to ruined that for all of them. I bet Xander, Dad, and Aiden all think the same thing about me. They must all hate me, I hate me too.

Finally what felt like forever my sobs turned into hiccups and my hiccups turned into sniffles. My eyes focused on the wall in front of me, an empty, numb feeling taking over. It was the same feeling I felt the night of my mother's funeral, it was an awful feeling. Nothing mattered, I could feel nothing, I felt like I was nothing.

A part of me was saying that Elliot was just drunk, and he didn't mean what he said. He didn't actually think it was my fault it was just the alcohol taking over. But another part of me was yelling at me, over powering, telling me it was my fault, that everything Elliot said was the true. Everything was always my fault.

because like they say a drunk mans word's are a sober man's thoughts.

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Im so sorry guys this chapter got deleted :( its shorter then the last one and a lot crappier.

But I hope you still enjoyed!

If you have any suggestions feel free to comment, I love your feedback :)

Love you all :)