My Older Brother

Chapter 10.

Come on I can do this.

I was standing at the end of my drive way contemplating if I should ditch this whole plan and go back to Jamie's house for a couple more days.

No I have to do this. I need to fix this.

I sighed running a hand through my hair and cracking my knuckles. A nervous habit I cant seem to get rid of. I slowly started walking up my drive way, hesitating every couple of steps. When I reached the door I grabbed onto the handle twisting it, but it wouldn't twist. I tried a couple more times before glancing down the drive way mentally scolding myself for being so stupid. 

Elliot Black car wasn't in the drive way which meant he wasn't home. Maybe it was a sign that I should come back another time or I could just never come back and avoid this whole situation all together. I could almost hear Jamie's voice in my head telling me to stay and talk to him. Stupid Jamie and her stupid good opinions. 

I walked around to the side of my house climbing up the familiar tree, Once I reached my window I lifted it up hoping inside. My room was exactly how I left it, with my messy bed and books scattered across my desk. 

I didn't know how long I had until Elliot came home but at least it gave me some time to think. I just never understood why Elliot could be so harsh, when I was 11 I would have never thought this is what would happen to my life.

I fell onto my bed a sigh leaving my mouth. I picked up a picture of our whole family that was taken a year before mom was diagnosed with cancer. I looked at all our smiling faces as Elliot had his arm slung over my shoulder as I smiled laughing as he was messing with my hair, My face was scrunched up as tried shoving him away. I remember that day so well, mom wanted us to take one good picture so she could send it to all of our relatives. Elliot, Aidan, Xander and I kept bursting out laughing at the littlest of things. In the picture Xander and Aidan were laughing together and mom and dad had soft smiles on their facing as they starred at all of us. 

We all had thought our mini photoshoot was a disaster until dad picked up all the pictures and showed them to us. That day had been absolutely perfect. 

The more I starred at the picture the more I began to think until realization dawned on me. He is in so much pain, and I never noticed. He was always so cold, and hateful that I had never even thought.

He was as broken as me.

Elliot, my brother was shattered and he didn't know how to repair himself.

After all these years of thinking that he hated me, that he didn't love me, that he never wanted anything to do with me he was just sad and he didn't know how to deal with it so he took it out on his family. A part of me hates him for that but I still love him. Elliot, just like me had lost his mother. I had Jamie to help me get through this, but Elliot had no one. He did have Dad and our other brothers but I know Elliot to well, he is to stubborn to go ask someone for help. Me and him have always been so similar.

My stomach grumbled and I realize how hungry I am. Sighing I stand up walking out of my bedroom. Trudging down the stairs, I get to the kitchen getting out a bowl and spoon. I sit in the chair placing the objects down.

"Im so stupid" I laughed getting up. I forgot to get the cereal. 

I walk to get a box of cereal. I decided on some good old Froot loops, I pour my cereal into the bowl and shove a spoonful into my mouth.

"You still don't put milk in your cereal"

I stiffened, not daring to look away from my cereal. I was so distracted from the food I hadn't seen him walk in. I stood up speeding towards the stairs, leaving my still not finished bowl of cereal on the counter.