Keith Imagines

Love of Remorse • five

KEITH'S POV

Grabbing my journal from my bookshelf, I opened it to a new page to continue my letter to Y/N. After she left, I started writing mini letters dedicated to her but I never sent them. I talked about how she made me feel, how much I loved her, how much she broke my heart when she left me. You name it. It was all talked about in my journal. Being around her hasn't been easily. I so badly want to just kiss her and tell her how much I love her but it's hard because giving our situation and she's going to leave me again. Either if I die or she does. I would never be able to be with her again.

Sitting at my desk, I started writing all the questions I've been wanting to ask but I was too scared to.

"Y/N, is your heart still mine? As soon as we graduated high school, you left me. I don't want to think about all the people you've been with since you left. We were hiding our relationship from the world but you were my best friend and my lover. When you disappeared on me, I didn't know what to feel. At first, I was heartbroken. Then I was so mad at you. Then I went back to being heartbroken with a mix of anger. I hate thinking about you and the days we used to share. It's always bittersweet. With you being here, I don't want you to know that the way you left killed a part of me so I've been acting out towards you. Part of me wish the way I'm acting will make you feel how I felt.

When I first saw you again at the mall, I got so happy to be seeing you again but then I remembered you left me and I got so angry. Do you still care about me? If you don't, I feel like a dummy to still be caring about you when the feelings aren't mutual.

Not going to lie, when you left, I was so lost without you for a long time. I didn't have anyone to talk to anymore. I couldn't sneak out the house for a reason anymore. I couldn't even listen to our favorite songs anymore.

We made plans to run away together a few weeks after graduation but you decided on your own to leave without me. You left me here by myself to stay in the business and you knew I didn't want that. You were worth running away for. Without talking about our future anymore, I stayed. I feel betrayed. You didn't care about how you leaving would affect me. That showed me how selfish you were but I still love you. We had a love that couldn't be replaced no matter how many girls I dated. My heart is still yours."

Wiping my eyes, I cleared my throat and got up to put my journal back when there was a knock on my door. "Come in." I mumbled walking towards the bookshelf. Kev walked in carrying a plate with food.

"Here. Mom said bring this up to you because you weren't feeling good or something." Telling him thanks, I took the plate from him and I expected him to leave but he went to go sit on my bed. "Do you believe Y/N? Something is telling me that she's lying." He said.

Sitting at my desk and taking the aluminum foil off the top, I stared down at the baked macaroni and cheese, the greens, cornbread, and the chicken. "I mean, that family is messed up. They kill each other just for money or to show each other how cold blooded they are and she's a part of that family so she's cold blooded like the rest of them. So yes, I do believe her." Putting some greens in my mouth, after shallowing I continued. "We can help her take them down and while they're at their lowest point, dad wants to kill them. One by one."

Laying back on my bed, he sighed loudly. "Yeah. He told me he was just using Y/N for the information and he then he was going to kill her first. She couldn't be trusted." Coughing, I started taking sips from my bottle of water that was already on my desk. "Kill? She said after this was all over she's moving to a different state." I started eating again and he started talking again. "He doesn't want any chances that she'll come back for us after learning our ropes. Well, I'm about to go to the movies. I'll see you later." With that, he walked out of my room closing the door on his way out.

Finishing my plate, I threw it away with my water bottle. I didn't want Y/N to die. I couldn't let my dad kill her for wanting to help us out. I know the way she left made me look at her different but I couldn't live with myself if I knew she was about to die and didn't try to stop it. Like I said, my heart is still hers and if she was to die. I would die from a broken heart I'm sure of it.

I know if I went up to my dad and tried to talk him out of it, he'll become suspicious and I couldn't let that happen. If I went to Y/N to warn her about my dad's plan, she'll probably think I still care about her or go back to her family and team up with them, or worse try to kill my dad before he could kill her. We all have that, 'Kill or be killed' mindset. I was stuck.