Last week
I started working out
I started a diet
I asked people everyday
If I looked any skinnier
I asked myself everyday
If I looked any skinnier
Replied with a no
And then laughed at
The fact that I was
Talking to myself
Then ate a carrot
Then decided to call
Myself Rabbit
It would be my new name
To go with my new body
I signed every diary entry
With a smooth signature
Remembering how
My third grade teacher
Had told me that my
Cursive was as perfect
As if I'd been writing it
My whole life
And I smile as I finished
Sincerely, Rabbit
Three days ago
I realized that if I wanted
Fast results
I'd need to cut out
Everything that went into
My body
Even the carrots
And changed my name
To Empty
And was satisfied
Because an empty stomach
Is a flat one
And a flat stomach
Is beauty
I asked everybody
If they noticed a
Difference now
And they said
"Yeah, you look tired"
And I didn't tell them
That the hunger kept me
Up at night
I said, "No, I mean my
Body.
Anything different?"
To which she replied
"Did you get a new dress"
And I pretended that
I had and thanked her
For noticing
I wrote in my diary again
And hid it beneath
The bleach
Under my bathroom
Cupboard
With a poorly written
Signature
That my third grade
Teacher would be
Unimpressed by
Sincerely, Empty
Yesterday
I brushed my teeth
Six times
Before I could sleep
Because I swore
I could still taste the
Dinner that I'd thrown up
My mouth was raw
When I fell asleep
And when I woke up
My stomach felt
So empty
I knew it had to be flat
But when I lifted my shirt
I was greeted by the
Same rolls
I always had been
And I cut them all up
I couldn't help but feel
Like my stomach was
Even uglier now
So I cried for three hours
And decided not to
Eat again tonight
Because that was what
Got me into this
I was starving my way
Out
When I went to work
Today
I asked if I looked
Different
And she laughed and
Asked if I was on a diet
Or something
And I told her I was
And she said I should
Try a low carb one
I didn't tell her
That I wasn't eating carbs
At all
Or anything at all
I wrote in my diary
And I didn't sign
With empty
Because Empty meant
Flat stomach
And I wasn't deserving
Of that
So I just signed it
With what I was
What I'd always been
Sincerely, Me
YOU ARE READING
Lost Words
Random"If you don't say what you feel, you'll forget how to feel." A book of poems. All of which are mine.
