It used to be Simple | ft.Cole Sprouse

Chapter 030

           
I awoke with flaring and constant white and red lights beaming at my closed eyes. I slowly blinked until I began moving, noticing the bright blue fallen sky and the overhead roof of the gas station. I was still stapled to Cole, whom I noticed laced his fingers with mine. I felt my heart physically skip a beat.

When I moved my head, he rushed his hand away from mine, almost as if he didn't want me to see. I thought of other times I was asleep next to him, how many times he had held me hand then.

'Awake?' he asked quietly, in a hushed, clearly tired manner. I nodded in response and unglued myself from him. He was clearly uncomfortable from the ride and the pressure of my body against him, so without thinking I let out a quiet, 'Sorry.'

'No need. How'd you sleep?' he asked a little louder than whilst I carefully rubbed my eyes to not disturb my makeup.

'Surprisingly well. What time is it?' I questioned, looking around at the blaring sun. Clouds seemed almost scared of the star, steering as far away from it as they could.

'1PM.' He said and took a breath as if to continue speaking, but visibly held back.

'What's up?'

'Nothing. Not really.' He shrugged and looked past me again, out the window.

'Are you trying to ignore me?' I asked, sounding offended.

'No, it's-' he stopped. He took a few sharp breaths and scratched the side of his nose. I turned my head to the side, a puppy paying attention.

He placed his hand behind my headrest, and the other played with his ring.

'It's just that I think you've changed.' he refused to maintain eye contact as he said admitted this, which for some reason frustrated me. I held his jaw and turned it to face me.

'What does that mean?'

'That-ugh,' he began but drifted again. His hesitance was a quick way to annoy me. I almost had no patience left, waiting for some type of explanation.

'That you've changed- how else do I phrase this? You're not the same person that I met.' It seemed like this was all he allowed himself to say, but I could tell it was hard for him to keep it to himself. Plus, if I wasn't curious before, then I sure as hell was curious about what he wasn't saying now.

I raised my brows, edged for him to continue. Was I, perhaps, making a big deal out of nothing?

'You- you were quite award when I met you- and shy. It was kind of sweet actually, to see you get nervous at the sight of me but roll with it. And to see you bite your lips all the time and blush like crazy red tomatoes, like those red signs' he pointed to traffic lights, which I looked at for longer than I should've not to meet his face.

He started talking again. 'And you laughed so quietly but it was sweet, and in those rare moments when I got you to really laugh so loud I almost felt like I was...' but he stopped again.

'And you took care of everything. You had an opinion on everything, your mind worked in so many cute, funny ways. I mean, come on, you had a passionate hate for iced coffee. That's hilarious. It took every bit of me not to buy you iced coffee for your birthday.' He began smiling slightly now, and I glared at him when he mentioned iced coffee.

'See!' he pointed to my frown. 'That! That is just everything to me and I never knew why. You always loved sunsets too, you- you were in love with the sky and the ocean and gardens and pretty flowers and flowers that smelt like perfume, and flowy dresses and chocolate- but god forbid dark chocolate.'  He kept stuttering, and getting happy or exited.

Something in my stomach turned. He was visibly happy talking about me. About my every little detail.

'And every little damned thing I... I really loved. And I don't want to be an actual douchebag I hope you know that but there's something that clicked in you. You were no longer afraid-' I was about to interrupt him, remind him that that wasn't a bad thing but he put his finger in the air as if to stop me.

'Not that there's anything wrong with that. But... it seemed like you just changed minds with someone else. You were no longer Anna, you were someone else.'

'You taught me how to not be scared of the world all the time! Why are you trying to blame it all on me, as if I was the one who made a decision to change entirely?' I tried to defend myself somehow.

'If I hadn't met you, or if you hadn't tried to change me, I would've stayed the same. Are you really pinning this on me?' I raised my voice. Where was everyone? Why were they taking so long?

'Listen. I'm not saying I don't like you anymore because youre more open, if anything I like you more because of that part. What I meant was- you've become absolutely careless. You say things all the time and you probably don't even realise. Some jokes are almost offensive, some of the things you do are awkward. And I- you've been fucking terrified of skydiving. What happened?'

'You didn't want to go skydiving?' I felt a little lost.

'No, you're missing the point. I mean you're- you're...' he trailed off.

'Worse.' I whispered, as quiet as a mouse. He didn't agree. But he didn't disagree either. I knew exactly what he meant. All this time I thought he was colour blind, but in reality he could see all of my colours. Every shade of good and bad.