The Run and Go/ / Joshler

f i v e

Finally another chapter y'all !
Hope you guys are having a good day.
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I  sat there, just staring at her.

How did she know who I was? Could she.... could she know what happened back in Ohio? The unexpected death of Chris Joseph, all leading back to me.

"Tyler...?" she said, breaking the silence.

"Um, yeah. I'm—I'm Tyler Joseph. How exactly do you know that?" I replied.

"I'm not sure if you remember this, but we were friends. We grew up together. I knew you looked familiar! You haven't changed a single bit! C'mere man!" 

I stood up after she did, still as confused as ever. She proceeded to give me the biggest hug I've ever received. I returned the hug and it felt... familiar. Also warm, very warm.

Holy shit. 

At that moment I had just realized that she was my best friend. We did everything together. We were inseparable.

I missed her so much. I melted into the hug, not wanting to let go.

Just as I was about to tear up, we parted and she looked me in the eye.

"Were you about to cry?" she asked with a small grin on her face.

"No, shut up," I said, hiding my face. "But I really missed you."

I looked up at her, then at the people giving us looks. I pointed towards the door suggesting that we leave. She nodded and we walked out of the café.

I led the way back to school and we started a conversation about things we did as children. This is bringing back so many memories. I miss it. I really do. Despite all the terrible memories involving my father, my childhood was okay. 

I was remembering all the times she had helped me through tough times and cheered me up. But, did she know who I had turned into? 

I had a strange feeling. A feeling of... guilt. Why did I feel guilty? Is it because of everything I have done? Everyone, I have killed?  All the times I have gotten away with it?

"Tyler?" Hayley said. 

"Sorry, I must've zoned out..." I reply, a very guilty smile on my face. 

She looked at me and tilted her head a bit. 

"Is something wrong?" she asks worriedly. I try to think of a response but nothing comes to mind. I can't stop thinking about this strange new feeling. Actually, it's not that new. I've definitely felt the same way before. Then I remembered...

OHIO, January 27, 2014

"Okay, bye Hayley," I say as I unlock my car, not really wanting to leave. I step in and turn the engine on. I browse the radio stations until I hear Should I stay or Should I Go by The Clash. 

I back out of the driveway, heading towards the hell I called home. I drive carefully and obey all the driving laws and such. Everything was going perfectly normal and I didn't have a care in the world. I didn't want to ever get home, I just wanted to admire the world since I was actually happy for once. Singing along with the lyrics of the song, I make a right turn on Maple Street. This city is so beautiful... as long as you pretend my neighborhood didn't exist. At this point, I wasn't exactly paying the most attention to the road, just cherishing the sights of this side of town. 

I hear a thump and I immediately slammed my foot down on the brakes. I sit in complete silence, baffled by what had just happened. Panic begins to crawl up my body all the way to my shoulders. I shakily open the car door, afraid to step out. When I had finally gathered myself, I put one of my weak legs out of the car. Then goes my other leg. I stood, praying to god I didn't hit an animal. 

I peaked around the front of my car, but my fears didn't stop running through my head. 

Instead, they flowed through my brain like a waterfall. A new feeling crept up my neck. 

Guilt.