Leaving (A One Direction Fanfiction)

Epilogue

Our trip to America was the beginning of the end for Chase, and he fell ill on our last day there. Soon, date nights meant visiting the hospital cafeteria, and I was the one rubbing soothing circles on his back as he puked into the toilet bowl. Chase fought to the last breath, and I wouldn't have expected it any other way. He died on April 10, 2014, and was buried in a small cemetery near the house where he had grown up. I still love Chase with all my heart, and whenever I visit him I imagine what our children would have looked like. After he died, I was broken; I never left the flat, and whenever I wasn't working on my laptop I was staring blankly out the window. Eleanor and the boys were so worried that they paid for Nicole to fly to London, and forced me into seeing a grief counsellor.

The first day I was supposed to see the counsellor I was so nervous that my hands were shaking. That morning, while I was trying to pour orange juice, my hand shook so violently that I dropped the glass and it sliced my foot. I couldn't bring myself to visit the hospital where Chase had died, so Liam ended up bandaging it in the living room of his flat. "Why do you do this to yourself?" he mumbled as he wrapped the clean white gauze around my foot.

"Do what to myself?"

"Why don't you try to move on? Why do you insist on making your own life miserable? I just don't get it." At this point, he shifted his gaze towards my face, and stared me straight in the eyes. His brown eyes were filled with sadness, and he fought tears as he said "April, Chase wouldn't want you to live like this. You're still living, and he isn't. You were given more time than him, and he will be disappointed in you if you don't make the most of it." Then, Liam went back to silently bandaging my foot. Once he was done, I went back to my flat, locked myself in my bedroom, and just thought; I thought about how Chase would tell me off for being so ignorant, and insist that I move on with my life.

~~~

Now, I am making the most of each day, and living life to the fullest. I still miss Chase and wear my ring everyday, but I know that he would be proud that I am no longer wallowing in my own grief. Once he died, I realised that I had to enjoy every single breath that passed through my lungs. So, on a whim, I went back to school, got a degree in music, and I am well on my way to becoming a concert pianist.

P.S. It's been a year but I finally finished my sessions with the therapist the boys hired, and surprisingly writing down what happened in a journal was extremely calming. I don't know what to do with this journal, now that I've finished it. I think I'll figure that out after my date with Liam, a man who accepts my flaws and the fact that I am forever marked by Chase's love, as well as the tattoo, and the engagement ring that I will never take off.