Vagabond (Bellamy Blake) 1/2

7

ryder

i woke up to the sound of charlotte screaming bloody murder. Bellamy was already by her side shaking her awake. i sat up and walked over to see if she was okay.

"I'm sorry." she mumbles wiping away the tears from her checks. she was shaking so i started rubbing her back to try and calm her. bellamy was sitting right in front of her so they were face to face.

"Does it happen often?" Bellamy asked. Charlotte remained silent though not looking at either of us. "What are you scared of?" 

again there was a long pause. it's not always the easiest thing to talk about your fears with people, i understood that so i figured it would be best to just let it be. if she wants to tell us then she can tell us on her own time.

"You know what? It doesn't matter." i offered a kind smile. "The only thing that matters is what you do about it."

"But... I'm asleep."

"Fears are fears. Slay your demons when you're awake, they won't be there to get you when you sleep." Bellamy advised. his voice was groggy but still calming all at once.

"Yeah, but... How?"

"You can't afford to be weak. Down here, weakness is death, fear is death." he told her.

though i thought it was a little morbid of a thought to be telling her, he had a point. this place my be beautiful but there are so many threats out here that could kill us, some of which i'm sure we haven't even learnt about yet. 

 "Let me see that knife I gave you."

charlotte pulled a knife out of her pocket and handed it over to Bellamy. he looked it over then gripped it tightly. confusion took over my mind as i waited to figure out where bellamy was going with all of this.

"Now, when you feel afraid, you hold tight to that knife and you say, 'screw you. I'm not afraid.'" he chanted with an ounce of bravery.

he gave to knife back as charlotte tried to recreate what Bellamy had just done. she took the knife in both hands and stared at it as she repeated his words timindly. it still sounded weak, it needed more power to be believable. we both gave her a look telling her she could do better so she tried again.

she took a deep breath and with more strength repeated the words "screw you. i'm not afraid."

with an approving grin, Bellamy patted the girl on her leg. "Slay your demons, kid. Then you'll be able to sleep." 

charlotte nodded and layed back down holding the knife close to her chest as she tried to fall back to sleep. i took this as my queue to go back to the wall i had been leaning on before, propping my head against the cold rock.

Bellamy sat watching Charlotte probably trying to scare off any unwanted monsters. he wasn't a bad guy. sure he's done some things, he may have tried to sabotage our chances of talking to the ark but we've all done some things. everyone down here is guilty of something and who am i to judge someone else because of what they have done, i wouldn't want that on me.

he saved my life yesterday. he could have let me die but he didn't. he could have let me go when i was slipping from his grip but he held on. why would someone do that if they had no soul? it's just an act, his whole tough guy attitude was just an act. i see it now.

"bellamy?" i whispered trying to get his attention but also to not wake up the now unconscious child. he turned to me showing he was paying attention completely. "i never told you thank you, did i?"

his brows furrowed in confusion. "for what?"

"for saving my life. yesterday, you didn't let me fall into the hole. thank you." i said pulling my knees to my chest.