Surrender

Chapter Fourteen

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

I’m sitting next to my body watching as my lifeless brown eyes stare at the ceiling. I look like shit, Peter really did a number on me. I look like a child laying here like this, my shorts around my ankles, bruises all over my thighs, blood dripping from the cut on my stomach. There are bruises on my arms and around my neck. I can plainly see the shape of his fingers and the way they held onto my skin, making deep purple marks on my semi tanned skin. My lip is cut and it looks like he might’ve broken my nose, and on top of that, I’ve got a nice black eye forming too. That is definitely going to hurt tomorrow. I’m not entirely sure if it hurts right now, I can’t really feel anything, and if I try to ask myself if it does, I’m positive I won’t be able to respond. Maybe I can try… I reach out and nudge my arm, my skin is ice cold.

“Hey, Rae, can you hear me? It’s…me, well, technically, it’s you.” I say, watching as my face stays unchanging and expressionless. I haven’t blinked in a good 2 minutes, this was some kind of record.

“Hey!” I say again, shaking my shoulder, “You’re freaking me out, blink, or cough, or…something.” I don’t move, I don’t even flinch. I slide my legs out in front of me and scoot down, lowering myself onto my back. I rest my hands on my stomach and stare up at the ceiling next to my lifeless body.

“How did we get here, huh?” I say, a warm breeze blowing in through the open door.

“I mean, look at us. Three weeks ago we were living this quiet, mundane life, afraid to take any sort of risk, and now…I don’t even recognize our life anymore. Who am I?” I turn to look at myself, “Who are you, Rae? Who are you? Because, I’m looking at you and I see a stranger. This would never have happened to the girl that played it safe, the one who sits back and watches while everyone lives their lives. It was better living like that, Rae, safer, more predictable. We can run away from all of this, let them deal with the mess they’ve made. We don’t have to fix this. We don’t. So, get up and leave. Get up, Rae. Get up!”

I blink, my eyes stinging. I wiggle my fingers and blink a few more times, tearing my eyes away from the ceiling. I look to my left, expecting someone to be there, but I’m not sure why. I sit up and cringe, various levels of pain coursing through my body. I had a nasty head ache and the whole left side of my face was throbbing. I gingerly reach down and grab my belt loops, pulling them up over my thighs. I struggle to a standing position and tug my shorts up, zipping and buttoning them. I bend down and pick my phone up off of the floor. I turn in a circle and scan the room, checking for any sign that someone was here. But, how could that be? I’ve been lying on the floor this whole time, I would’ve noticed if someone came in. I just can’t shake the feeling that someone else was here. I cross to the door and push the door closed, listening as it shuts softly. I guess I’ll go shower now, and figure out what lie I’m going to feed Harry, Darcie and Aaron. I head up the stairs, going slowly because of the pounding in my head. When I reach the bathroom, I peel off my clothes, throwing them in the trash and tying the top closed, putting the bag and my shoes in the hallway. I turn on the shower, twisting the knob all the way to the left, steam rising from the hot water. I step into the stream of water and close my eyes, letting it burn my skin. I turn my face away from the run of water and run a hand over my skin, gingerly touching the cut on my lip and the hard, bruised skin around d my eye. I scrunch up my nose and cringe, yep, my nose is definitely broken. I scrub off the dried blood from my face and rinse my mouth out, the taste of rust and old pennies lingering on the back of my tongue. I look down at my stomach and run my fingers over the long cut on my skin. It isn’t deep, but it will definitely leave a small scar. One more to add to my collection. I massage the shampoo into my hair and avoid the lump rising at the back of my head, running my fingers through the tangles. I rinse and shampoo two more times, unable to wash the feeling of dirt from my hair. Or the rest of me for that matter. Ican still feel his hands on my skin, his fingernails digging into my flesh. But, I don’t feel anything else. I feel unclean and that’s all I can think about. I wash my body furiously until my skin is stinging and red. I turn off the water and step out of the tub, wrap a towel around me and walk, into my bedroom. I immediately start to get dressed, thinking of Harry and Darcie next door, most likely wondering where I am. I put on some dark jeans and a loose fitting black t shirt, trying to hide as much of my body as I can. I rummage through my closet and pull out a pair of old black Keds, duct tape wrapped around the toe of the right one to keep the bottom from falling off. I brush my hair and part it, as usual, to the side. I don’t bother with mascara or eyeliner, it would be a wasted effort because of the dark purple bruise forming around my eye, and by tomorrow morning my right eye would look the same, a side effect of my broken nose. I empty out my backpack and throw some clothes inside, sliding my laptop in too. I straighten up and put my hands on my hips, alright, all I had to do was think of a believable lie to explain the damage done to my face. My knees are aching, and as I stand here I begin to realize how worn out my left leg is. That’s it, I’ll tell them I was walking up the stairs and my leg gave out. Falling down one flight of wooden stairs can cause this much damage, right? I pick up my backpack and sling it over my shoulder, it’ll have to suffice, because that’s all I’ve got.