Surrender

Chapter Twenty Three

CHAPTER TWENTY THREE

Louis’ POV

After we got back from the police station I took Rae inside to get some sleep, she’d been up all night and I could tell she was exhausted by the way she leaned against me as we walked into the house, her slim body pressed into me, making me remember that day by the water fall. I tried to go to sleep too, but I couldn’t, my body was too charged and now, here I am, lying next to her, watching her sleep. She came into the room, kicked off her shoes and climbed onto the bed, falling asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. I’m propped up on my elbow, staring down at her, listening to her even breathing. She just told me she’s falling for me. I never thought she’d be the one to say it first, but then, I never know what she’s going to do, that’s what’s so damn attractive about her. I roll onto my back and stare at the ceiling, still in shock from this morning. I’ve never seen a fire like that, and I knew they were dead the moment I saw the flames. There was no way anyone could have survived something like that. I can still hear Rae’s screams bouncing off of the corners of my mind and ringing in my ears, it was like she was breaking into a million tiny pieces and I was powerless to stop it. I turn my face to look at her, wondering if that’s really what was going on inside of her at the time. Earlier when I’d brought her inside, her eyes were so empty and lifeless, like she was falling and I was reaching out to her, but she wasn’t reaching back. Sometimes she succumbs to this small, weaker version of herself and pulls away, but she always finds her way back to the person I see in her. We’re the same in that aspect, we both have two versions of ourselves fighting to get free. The part of me that hated her from the moment I laid eyes on her is the part that demands perfection from everyone around me, the part that has me walking around with tunnel vision, blind to the perfect imperfections inside of them. That part of me clashes with the part of her that breaks away from her comfort zone, the part of her that is fearless and strong, but also stubborn and pig headed. But, the part of me she brings out is the man I want to be, the man I need to be and the man I think she sees. When I’m with her I feel alive, like my skin is buzzing with newfound life. She pushes me and challenges me, makes me question who I really am. She opens my eyes and makes everything a little more vibrant than it was before.

Her eyelids flutter as she dreams and I slowly touch her bottom lip, fighting the urge to bite it. That’s the other thing about her, she drives me crazy. I’ve never been so sexually frustrated with any other girl I’ve dated before, not even Gemma, but with Rae…well…if I had it my way, we’d never leave my bedroom, but I already know that’s the last thing on her mind, even though it’s always the first thing that’s on my mind. I can’t help myself, I mean, I’m a guy, and everything about the way she moves and speaks and smiles turns me on. Like right now I can feel her breath on my arm and all I want to do is rip her clothes off and take her. Yesterday, after I broke up the fight between Aaron and Harry, I’d asked him about her, knowing that she told him what was on her mind while I was in Boston, and he’d told me this was her first relationship. A part of me can’t understand how any guy could walk past her and not immediately lose their train of thought, but then again, a part of me can understand. When I kiss her I can feel how hesitant she is, that there’s more passion waiting to come out, but she’s afraid. I meant what I said, if she needs to take it slow, then we’ll take it slow, even if I lose my sanity in the process.

The door suddenly flies open and Gemma rounds the corner. I sit up and hold my hand out to make sure she doesn’t say anything and wake Rae up. Her eyes flick from Rae to me and her brow furrows. She’s angry. She arches one of her eyebrows and cocks her hip to the side.

“What?” I whisper, quickly glancing down at Rae.

“We need to talk.” She says in a purposefully loud voice. I swing my legs off the bed and walk over to her, grabbing her arm and shoving her out into the hallway, closing the door softly behind me.