[MN: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, this is the second chapter of this monstrosity! Enjoy if you dare! MWAHAHA!]
Chapter 2 - THe fite at der house [MN: Are you German or what?]
FLAMERZ BAK OFF OK. mi engish is fine [MN: Oh no, it's not!] u dnt hav to b a bytch about it u fukkin homos. [MN: HOMOPHOBE!] if u lik bella i sed not 2 red cuz u wuld be offenced. i red dis book a lot of tims i fink i no der names. [MN: I don't think you read the book, author. Try looking for it at your local bookstore, dummy!]
and wateva u say, DUNT DISS TARA GELSBIE. OK. SHE IS A FUKKING GRATE RITER [MN: Ah, the infamous author of My Immortal. My favorite.]
OK HERE IS CHAPTA 2.
XXXXXXXXXXXXX CHAPTER 2 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Wen i walkd in2 da house edward disapered and den appered at da piano (hez a vamprie he kan do that.) [MN: Apparate!] he storted 2 play Famous Last werds by mi chemical romans. [MN: I didn't know the Romans used chemicals to form MCR!] i started 2 sing in my beatifull [MN: My voice can beat yours!] voice "Wel i kno that i kan make u stay, wel den were iz ur heart? were iz ur heart?" every1 gasped, even tho they were vampirs they didnt hav voices lyk me. OUT of nowere they all jumped up nd tried to tak off my cloths. [MN: Taking of pieces of cloth is better than taking off your clothes 😄]
"WOT R U DOING?" [MN: u wot m8?] i creamed. [MN: Here, have some cream.] deir eyes were red n they had all turned in2 savagez. [MN: Help! I'm being attacked by savage vampires!] den they stoppd and confused. [MN: O_o]
"Sorry Twila." edward sed. "sometimes wen we c some1 we kant resist we turn in2 beasts. it wnt hapen agen" puting bak on mi clothe. [MN: Ah, the perfect explanation on how they turned to beasts. I mean savages. BTW, Edward thanks for putting the pieces of cloth back on!]
"Itz ok a lot of ppl r attracted to me" i excplaned. they all understod. [MN: Mary Sue alert! Mary Sue alert! *siren noises*]
"it must be ur blood" sed carlose in horrofied. [MN: LE GASP] "Beauty, u hav the most rare n exotic blood in all da world, evry vampir wil want to drink it. itz much betta den that other gurls, wats her name?" [MN: Besides, the blood good enough to make an exotic bloody cocktail fit for a vampire!]
"Dat bytches nam is bella" sed jasper growling. [MN: Bella is the best b—!] Midnite hugged him so he wuldnt get 2 angry n apper in bellas house n strangle her wif 1 tuch of his finger cuz hes realli strong lyk da hulk. [MN: This is the Big Buff Cheeto Puff! Remember him? Or her? When I mean her, I mean Jasper from Steven Universe!]
"twila, i wnat u 2 marri me" sudenly screemed alise hu was a plebian. [MN: Or should I say LESBIAN 😉 FYI: Plebeians – not plebians, thank you – were lower ranked people back in ancient Rome!] edward rowred [MN: RAWR!] at her, furius [MN: If the fanfic had furries in it, it would've been a different story!] n all protective n sudenly... he htransformed! [MN: Beast Mode! Aaaaah!]
"OMFG NOOOO" i shouted cuz i dint want ne1 2 get hurt. eds shirt bursted opened wif mussels. [MN: Mussels are food, right? But they sound like muscles!] his topazz eyez turnd pure blak with strengt n energy n he jumped at alice [MN: Eat that Alice f*cker already!]
"TWOLA IS MARRING ME ALREADI" [MN: Is Twila gonna destroy Edward?! We'll see!] he sed wif his voice was booming n all da windows exploded n da glass rained down lik in dat avril laven video wer she punches da miror n da glass all flyes out around her. [MN: It was so powerful, it could break all the glass stuff!] He storted 2 fite with alice to da death over me. [MN: Instead of fighting, why not distort or sort a fire instead?]
"Guyz guys" i suddenly compromized "Guess wat srry im not a lebian." [MN: What? You're not a lesbian? Tell me your true sexual orientation, lady!What the hell are you? Are you bi? Pan? Or are you straight/asexual, pretending to be gay/bi/pan? You have to be honest!] alice started 2 cry tearz of blood. "Y r her tears blood" i asked all curios [MN: I swear to God Imma shed bloody tears after I read this fic.]
"Oh no this is bad" said emet hu had been in da bathrom da hole time. [MN: I'm sure the bathroom's in a hole!] "wen we cry our tearz r blood n its da blood of our victims, shez losin blood n now she wil be thirsy agen. RUN" [MN: So Alice is a VAMPIRE all along! And that's a nice explanation, Emet. You deserve a gold star!]
Alic tryed 2 jump at me and tare my flesh [MN: Worser than the Killer Bunny!] but i movd out of da way [MN: Vampires will never hurt her! Or will they?] n she attakd rosemarie instead hu was prety but she waznt as prety as me n her throat flew open. [MN: Slitting the throat is much better than slitting the wrists!] n blood poured out everywere n alice ate it. [MN: What have you done to that poor human or whatever creature?! It's disgusting! *goes away*]
"Ohh mi satan" i said heartbrokn becuz i causd so much truble. [MN: I forgive ya, buddy.] edward jus laughed "its ok babe" he said nd kissed me for da 1st time! [MN: The most awaited kiss scene is finally here! Hope they get married! Yay! 💏] (He had turned back from blak ed to white ed (a/n HEZ LIK HOTSANHARU FROM FRUITY BASKET) [MN: Move over, Fruits Basket! Fruity Basket is hotter than you!] n he was calm agen.) [MN: Did Edward just change his ethnicity? That's strange.] "Shez a vampir, shell just cum bak 2 life." [MN: Who are you talking about? Rosemarie?]
so they sedeted alison n she fel asleep n rose came bak 2 lyf. [MN: Rosemarie is a vampire all along! Thanks Ed for giving us the wonderful answer! You rock!] we had berger king 4 diner [MN: Berger King is the best (German) diner in the world!] bcuz i had 2 hurry. [MN: If you're a vampire, that doesn't mean you can't eat at a human restaurant.] n then i went home thinsking of edword the hole time [MN: What time is it? It's Hole Time!] and how his flami hot lips felt on my. his body waz so warm n i culdnt wate to c him agen. [MN: *wolf whistle* 😍]
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[MN: Okay guys, I wasn't able to update this, just because I was too busy and I didn't have enough time for this commentary. Oh, BTW, I have a Tumblr account where you can follow me! This is the link in the curves: (nepalsaysrawr.tumblr.com) It's got lots of cool stuff! Awesome, amirite? See you next chapter!!! Bye! 👋]
[MN: Oh, one more thing: I just canceled the points system 'cause it's to hard to manage ^_^]
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Twila The Girl Who Waz In Luv With A Vampyre (with commentary!)
FanfictionThe eldritch 14-chapter horror that is "Twila The Girl Who Waz In Luv With A Vampyre," has now been brought to Wattpad's shores for the first time all the way from Fanfiction.net's silliness, with a special commentary written by yours truly! EDIT: S...
