There are people in this world that see things differently. One person can see a beautiful piece of nature whilst another sees a tree. Someone can hear a song and it lifts them off their feet and someone else hates it. There are also the people that see things tto a certain point that they feel like know one understands them. I will now tell you about those people that I am one of.
There are times when you just lie in bed and review all of your conversations from that day. You can't seem to sleep because you think you said something wrong. You think about that week. How over the weekend, someone told you that you were annoying so you didn't say anything for an hour. You say something to someone and they don't respond so you immediatly apologize because you think you hurt them. You have times when you don't talk to anyone because you think everyone hates you. Then, you finally find somebody that understands you. Two months later you've pushed them to the breaking point as to where they can't stand you. People are scary to people like me. You can't seem to talk to anyone because of your past. Everyone tells you to let go of the past but it's hard to forget about that part of your life. It gets to the point that whenever you see a face that looks like your bully, you just go silent and curl up into a ball. You have had too many things happen that it's hard to tell people things. You hear a word and it makes you want to cry because of how it's been used before. You act cheerful so no one asks if you're okay. You always tell people to calm down when they want to stand up for you. That is because the people in the past have said you can trust them and then they pretty much turn into satan. They say they won't tell anyone about how you cry to yourself at night or when you dig a blade into your leg. They tell the entire school and you're slapped on the thigh by people where the cuts have been. You can't wear shorts or a swim suit around people unless you really trust them because you can't handle on more person asking about the scars where you gashed your skin.
People say scars are beautiful. They may be beautiful to you but I spend ten minutes every morning just staring at them. How my body is already mis shapen and I decided to take a razor to my skin because it released endorphins. You've spent three four years bottling up these feelings and you're still hunting for someone who will listen to you. Someone who will understand what you've been through and tell you it's okay now. Just one person that will let you hug them and hold their hand whenever you feel like it, please?
