𝙻𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚋𝚘𝚢𝚜 - 𝚃𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚘𝚋

Seen.

I tried texting troye but he wouldn't answer at all so I just went to bed. I lie there sad why didn't he stay?

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I woke up the next morning and looked at my phone he left me on seen and that was killing me why wouldn't he just text me back did I do something. Wrong? fuck I lost the one thing that made me happy and I fucking lost him already good fucking job right after I said I couldn't lose him cause he was special and he is.

i still will always be there for him even if he's upset at me.

love is a rode that goes both ways, something he would say something that will stick with me for my life.

--

i lay slump in my bed skipping breakfast still nothing from troye . i sigh and look at my phone thinking of something to do button looked depressed as i did board as i did nothing is interesting with troye everything is, i hate this i hate the way he makes me feel 

I'm kind of wishing i never met him on the dock so i wouldn't feel so sad,..  i cover my moth in shock of what i had just thought of I cant believe I let myself think such a thing. I think I need to go to the dock I think that's the only way ill be able to rethink everything and calm down.

I go put on regular day were and head out for my day. I go downstairs my mom reading the news  she looks up at me.

"where you heading?" she asks me with a curious look on her face.

"just on a walk  need air" cause I'm over thinking everything' is what I should have said she just gives me a node and I walk out the door.

I'm thinking to much I thought about troye in a way I thought id never think of him in and that scares me what if I say my thoughts out loud...oh wait i did say some bad things yesterday I now understand why he left no shit he thought I meant what I said!! no o my god.

I crumble on the sidewalk

"I DIDINT MEAN IT! I DIDINT MEAN IT I DIDINT MEAN IT I DIDINT MEAN IT!!!" I cry I cant believe how oblivions and stupid I was I should have been more carful I used the f word I used the word fag I called him things I let my parents get to me I let them control me like that.

I get up wiping my tears and keep walking I need to get to the dock the only thing on my mind is troye how I probably made him feel like shit I hurt him I didn't I mean it I'm such a bad person who needs to die.

I start to run I run without thinking I just need to run.

I get to the dock and look at the water I could just jump and hold my breath until I fall asleep. I shake the thought away slowly and turn around and see troye and I feel guilty I frown even more and we make eye contact I see he's hurting as much as I am he turns around and walks away and I let him I cant run after him I feel to pathetic to broken. I turn back to the water and stare at it.

I sit down and just pick at my nails, then feel a tap on my shoulder and see troy looking at the side he wouldn't look directory at me and I don't blame him wouldn't look directory at me either after what I did I'm a monster. But I guess I wasn't the one running after him this time.

I don't say anything. He sits by me and I feel all warm and I know I shouldn't feel that but I do. he puts his head on my shoulder and I was surprised by the jester but didn't pull away

"I heard you screaming" he says I freeze up "nothing goes to planed and I realize you didn't mean it this morning I understand now an-" I interrupt him.

"I'm sorry" I blurt out my eyes watering "I didn't mean it I was stupid I shouldn't have said it I'm dumb I wasn't thinking" I say blabbing.

"its ok, I was hurt and mad and still kinda am but at least I know your half of it and I get it now you didn't mean it and its ok Jacob I forgive you cause your my best friend and you're not stupid nor dumb you just made a mistake" he says and I sigh relived that everything was ok now is it.

"I missed you" I say my mouth doing the talking.

"I missed you too Jacob more then you'd think" he says "I thought i lost you" he mumbles holding on to my arm tightly like if he'd let go id disappear

A/n
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I may have cried writing this lol