FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FOREVER, I'm finally posting again. It's not like anyone reads this story, but it's relieving. Obviously high school, extracurriculars, food, fanfiction, fanfiction, and fanfiction limits me from updating everyday. It's really busy.
High school overall hasn't been as bad as I expected. My sister told me it was hard. Musicals and books told me it was hell. But I feel great! I expected to get a tray knocked out of my hands, haven no friends, live in my hoodie and phones, get bullied, but it hasn't happened yet.
Obviously, I hadn't told anyone I was bi, but not even my friends need to know that. Because of one friend group I unknowingly joined in 7th grade, I have friends locked in for life. They are AMAZING. Without them, I don't even know where I would be. They are the only keeping me from going down. I've stopped my self-harm because of them. I feel loved. And I matter! I don't even feel like it's out of pity! They like me for... me! They are amazing! This entry is probably gonna be all about them.
So we are going to start with my first friend of the group. We are going to call her Phoenix, (she likes to draw birds). Phoenix was the first one I met from this group. She liked to read and she was good at art. She was crazy like me, but a little more aggressive and assertive. If the government were to conspire a scheme and it were to get out to the world. She would be the first one to suggest a revolution, (not a mwar, but a rebellion?). Phoenix is cool. She's also good at taking charge. She's also really skinny and loves pasta. And her hair!! Oh my god, I could live in it! It's so soft and fluffy and it's smells like cookies. She doesn't let me touch it.
Anyway I met her first. But I didn't join my forever friend group yet. Instead I was introduced to Lily and McKenna. Two girls I've learned to be scared of. I feel bad for McKenna, everyone just runs away from her now. Her and Lily had a falling out, then was cut off from the group. Then everyone started hating her for some reason. I hung out with Phoenix all seventh grade year.
It wasn't until I met the girl who made me bisexual, that I had finally joined the group that set me in for a never-lonely life.
Let's call her Rebel. Rebel is the second most beautiful girl I've ever met. (Sorry Rebel but have you SEEN Catwalk? Hottie). Originally, we called her Potato dragon earlier in the series because it wasn't I obvious I loved her at first. But Rebel fits everything about her. How she was comfortable with her body shape. How she never found love because of expectations. How she would belt out musical lyrics in the hallway even though people will look at us weird. How she even BOTHERED to learn musical lyrics. How she even bothered to look my way, and pry me out of my headphones and out of my comfort zone. How she wears a bright red jacket that calls attention to her. How she puts her hair in a ponytail all the time because she'd rather not have it in her face than worry over her appearance. How she would rather not wear a dress to the dance because of comfort. OKAYY THATS ENOUGH!
It's eighth grade year and the only girl I have in my classes that I know well is Lily. We end up with the same 4th period class at Mills Park, and lunch follows right after. So she is obviously who I sit with
Sorry I'm making this uncomfortable for straight people. I'm glad no one reads this, or else it will get out. And the consequences... I can't imagine. God my parents, who rely on me so much. My friends would be weirded out. I'd get bullied at school. They would be disappointed in me, again. I can't do that to them. Honestly, I've been questioning my sexuality since sixth grade. Me and this girl sat on the bus together. It was like clockwork. The first day of school I needed to sit with someone, and decided on her. Then I sat next to her again. And again. And again. Soon, we got around to talking. One day, she was sitting near the window seat of the bus. She was talking about how painful the point shoes were, (she's a ballerina), but how much she enjoyed it. But the sun hit in the right spot. It reflected on her natural blonde hair, and it almost appeared as if glowing. Her pale skin was illuminated with her smile and the rays of the early sunrise. Her baby blue eyes almost sparkled, with a shine rivaling the sun. She was so pretty to look at. Then I realized. IIIIII JUST BROKE UP WITH MY BOYFRIEND I AM NOT LEZ, (I didn't know what bisexuality was), and I just drowned the thoughts out of my head.
