I never knew you were the someone waiting for me

Chapter 8

Chapter 8 /or/ about doubts, lips and fights  

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soulmate

          /ˈsəʊlmeɪt/

noun

          a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.

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Matteo has been staring at screen of his phone for like half of an hour already. Word soulmate is burnt on his brain by his thoughts and flowing in his veins, quickly filling every single part of his body. It makes every single nerve tremble with something, but Matteo isn't sure what it is; is it excitement or feeling a little too close to disappointment. He's been twisting and turning in his bed, changing pillows and trying to sleep without them, trying to sleep under thin blanket instead of the comforter and neither of them all works. He is just so confused about the story Luna told him, about soulmates and the fact that she told him, maybe indirectly yet still, while he wasn't ready for it.

He over thought the story enough to finish up with conclusion that the story is about him. Him and Luna and, damn the universe, they are soulmates, meant to be and other shit Matteo has never thought that would meet him, out of all people.

Don't get him wrong, he likes Luna, probably feels something more towards her, but it doesn't seem like his choice anymore. He also can't say if she likes him because of her own decision or if it's pushing her to him. He has to know, completely not able to say how would he ask not making a mess out of this situation, because lowkey letting Luna know that he's not sure of her, would be the fuck up of the century. No matter how this soulmate thingy scares him (it scares the shit out of him, truly), he doesn't want to lose the girl he really likes and he cares about even if he is lost in all feeling he has, not to mention now the news telling him that it may be not his at all.

He genuinely hasn't slept this night so far, it's four am and Matteo seriously needs to chill his ass - it hasn't been even twelve hours after the date and he is already getting hit by all the doubts. He wants to be sure of her; that she likes him for him and maybe he is looking for it too desperately, because no girl really (except his mother, but she doesn't count) ever liked him just for being Matteo. He has always been the king of the rink, or the Balsano in Blake, and he never really minded that until now. Luna seemed to be the first, the softest, the brightest and he is probably too fucked up already to not overthink and analyze every relation he enters. Yet now, despite all doubts he is sure of the fact that he wants to be just himself. He tasted it with Luna, who never really took him as that guy, she was just acting like she acts next to anyone and probably despite all rumors she's heard about him, true rumors, she gave him a chance and pulled him closer. Matteo hasn't let anyone close since a very, very long time; most likely since Gastón and Ambar and for the very first time he almost regrets not opening himself more, because maybe, just maybe, he would be more sure.

He remembers himself the date again; how incredibly beautiful she looked when it was almost dark, with her hair tangled and her eyes blinking. How real seemed her smile and her laugh. How warm she was cuddled with him. It seemed almost impossible that he had the chance to have her so close, at his fingertips. She didn't seem any less touchy and he can still feel her fingers laced with his. Italian sighs deeply remembering the way she was looking at him; like at truly beautiful person, like she was seeing through him reading all his worries and taking them away with one blink of her eyes. It seemed all real, it felt like this and yet as soon as he got home and said out loud the word soulmate, everything crashed and hit his head like a brick.