Soulmates ~(Lafayette x Reader)~ Modern AU

The George and the Car

Your Pov
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I woke up, just like always and started my routine;
Wake up,
Get dressed,
Feel insecure,
Wake up Alex,
Eat food,
Pull Alex our of bed by his hair,
Then leave the house, still dragging Alexander.

As we made our way the to base, John had eventually joined us ranting on and in about how his pet turtle, Timmothy II, wouldnt stand still for his portrait.

"I mean, c'mon. What does a guy have to do to get his turtle to sit, so he can draw a detailed picture of said turtle," he whined.

"Well," Alex laughed, "Why dont you just take a photo of it, then draw the picture, it would save you a lot of unnecessary effort,"

Laurens gasped, seemingly appaled by what Alexande had suggested, "How dare you, why don't you just boil my dick!?"

"Wha-"

"I'll have you know that, Timmothy II is very camera shy and has severe anxiety! Ugh, if you should know anything Alex at lease let it be that!"

By now, the confusion I held inside my being was way beyond the normal level of confusion.

[What? Author, you're not making any sense-
SHUT UP, CHILD, I AM VERY CAPABLE OF EXPLAINING MYSELF IF I WANT TO!
Will you explain whats happening?
No! I'm strong and independent and don't need to justify what I do!
Nothing makes any sense thou-
Shut your face hole, please, thank you Captian reader!...
What?]

"John Laurens!" An angry Hercules, stomped out from behind a tent, he normally dark brown, almost black, hair was now bleached neon pink.

I burst into fits of laughter, causing Mulligan to send a glare in my direction.

"Ha, ha, well, ya see. Herc, I can expla- Noooo! Don't kill me!" Laurens pathetically laughed, before squeiling like a newborn baby and sprinting off into the opposite direction.

When they had left Alex and I nearly brought ourselves to tears, from laughing so much.

"Mon amis!" The baggette ran towards us. (Somehow the baggette grew legs and decided to run...)

"Heh, what if it, ma petite baguette tall?"

"It's Washington! We have lost him!"
Lafayette, reated his hands on his knees, hunched over, trying to catch his breath after sprinting the length of the barracks.

"What do you mean 'you lost General George Washington?'" Alex raised an eyebrow at his fellow immigrant.

"We have literally no idea where he went. He was standing in the mess hall one minute, then he burst into a cloud of glitter, now no one knows where he is!" Laffy-Taffy panicked

"Haha, wait, so George Washington, burst into glitter?" Alex tried to keep a straight face as he spoke.

"I new that man was a drag queen in his free time, I always wondered why he carried bottles of glitter in his neon pink purse." I whispered, quietly chuckling.

"What do we d-" Laf was cut off by a distant sound.

"Charles fucking Lee!" Washington?
"I am a pregnant lady, that needs to piss, so get me off if this godammed thing!"

Laffayette disappeared, probably off to find a French bakery and silently criticize it, because they used the wrong amount of flour.

Being curiouse about the racket, Alex and I turned to the source.

And, holy shit, what the actual fuck is happening.

"Oh look, I can see my baby from here... Wait, my baby.. Did I give birth already?"

I blinked.

"Oi, Suds, get off ma ca', I'm tryin' to Broom Broom 'ere!" Lee slammed his hand on the steering wheel then yelled out of the window, towards Washington, who was pointing to a bird saying it was spying on him.

"WashingDad, get off of the car!" Alex shouted, cupping his cold hands around his mouth. By now, Alex was almost in full-blown panic attack mode.

Washington replied, spreading his arms out as he spoke, "Alexander, my son, I am fine, all is well."

"General Washington! Your gonna fall!" I called, seeing Alexander hyperventilating beside me.

"Y/n, you alcoholic, calm down~"

My expression went blank, as I gave up all hope in humanity.

"George!" Alex screamed in horror.

I looked up again, George Washington was in the middle of the road, lying flat on his back and Lee had now turned the corner and driven off, he was long gone.

Alexander ran to the Generals aid, "General-Dad?" His voice shook, I crouched down beside them.

"Alex, my son, be safe. I see the light, don't worry about me. Both of you will always be my favourite children."

Then he fell asleep.
"Nooooooo~"  Alexander screamed in dispare.

"Now, children, Alexander and Y/n, both learnt a valuable lesson that day, that was to always keep Washington away from mushrooms." Burr smiled as he walked towards the camera with his back towards the scene.

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Unedited