Mitigation

Fall

(Maybe I will write) (thank you for the note you gave me a lot of motivation <3)

Elana swirled her spoon in her bowl of cereal, staring at what she had written so far.

The past, present, and future.

All interconnected.

What changes in the past would you make?

Should you have the chance?

What stories would you create?

If you took the ~chance~?

She looked down from her feeble attempt at poetry and looked at the bottom of her notebook.

Who was my mother?

Admittedly, Elana had never thought about it as much. But thoughts of Sirius's family's demeanor, and James's  kind words about his own made her think. What would her mother be like?

Now, as she looked above to the dreary fall sky, she could not imagine her mother. Even comparing her essence to something was hard.

Elana was getting tired.

She hated the full moons she had put herself through. She hated illegally becoming an animagus. She hated the extra once in a while pain that came from the Phoenix.

What was the point? She was no help.

She was also an outsider.

She could not help but notice. Despite her having many friends and respectful acquaintances she couldn't help but feel the loneliness inside her. She wondered what was eating the inside of her. What was fueling the negativity. She hoped her spell wouldn't last too long.

Wars are often won by destroying someone from the inside out.

She loved her friends, she truly did.

But did she make room for herself anymore? She didn't know much about herself only that she was smart and powerful. But that was hardly anything. What was her favorite color? Was she a dog or cat person? How fast could she run?

She was putting too much stress on herself. Extra classes, extra book work, some pranks, extra full moons, extra potion testing, extra Quidditch. The only calmness she somewhat felt was during the classes with Professor McGonagol, who had no problem listening to her stories while teaching her how to transfigure a cat into a pen. Perhaps she should, in turn, listen to Professor McGonagol's stories as well. The Professor had been nothin but kind to her.

Elana now noticed how Chelsea and Axel were slowly drifting away from her. Maybe it was just in her head, or she was the one drifting, but they were becoming distant.

Good riddance, an intrusive voice inside her said.

"You are incorrect," she whispered to herself.

She looked down at her soggy bowl of cereal and pushed it away. She walked out of the great hall and began to climb higher and higher and higher, sitting by the windows of one of the tallest towers. The view was breathtaking despite the fog that had cascaded over the trees and the piles of mud and sogginess everywhere. Elana now realized that all her negativity was coming from inside her brain. She could control her thoughts and her mood. Her life depended on her outlook on life.

Suddenly, the fog was a cool hug, the mud a trampoline of messy fun, and the soggy leaves a beautiful scrapbook made on the ground. Everything she saw was there, but how she reacted to it and took it in depended on how she saw life.

And right now, she saw it as beautiful.