Five

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With his hands jammed tightly in his jeans, Louis sat out to forget about the recent events. How could someone he hardly know be so invested and concerned for him? Walking slowly, he had no destination in his mind. He just wanted to make sense of the past few days.

(iMessage)
Louis: I cried reading my poem. 😭

Louis. Please kill me🙇‍♂️

Zayn: you ok

?Louis: Not really. I made a fool out of myself again in front of Harry....🤦‍♂️

Zayn: Want to watch sad🎬 and cry over ice cream tonight?

Louis: No. I just want to sleep and cry...and sleep and cry. 🙄

Zayn: Not the end of the world

.Zayn: if I don't see you eat tonight, I will form a secret intervention...remember that...😤

Louis: lol I will I promise ttyl

Feeling exhausted, Louis made his way to a nearby bench. He knew he may look crazy just laying there...or maybe people would just think he was drink/high. Either way, he was too tired to care. He stretched out in his legs and hugged his knees to his chest, tightly in the fetal position. His thoughts were running wild with two topics: how hungry he was and Harry.

He knew he hadn't felt well in a while. Every time someone tired to be romantically interested in him, he would push them away before they had the chance to leave. He wasn't sure why and never thought anyone was worth exploring it.

He knew he probably wouldn't survive not eating this time. His lowest weight plummeted down to 105 lbs., making his body mass index 15.96. The doctors warned him he needed to keep it atleast a 18.5 in order to maintain his organs. He felt guilty when he woke up in the hospital with all his loved ones by his side telling him that he was putting them through hell on purpose. Truth was, he had no control over it. Anorexia is a deadly disease if left untreated.

He knew if he didn't stop acting out, he was going to push all his friends and family away. Zayn had been dealing with him for too long and probably was getting tired of his antics. His mother discussed her helplessness many times. He hasn't heard from his father in years. "I just get in the way..." he said out loud as he felt a sharp pain in his stomach. "Maybe the world is better off without me!"

Suddenly, Louis had a twisted look on his face as he observed the traffic rushing by. His brain was whispering in his ear he could end it all right now, easily, and make it look like an accident.

He waited until the perfect moment. Putting his body into a lunging position, he let out a deep breath before shutting his eyes tightly. "It is what it is..." he shouted out loud as he braced himself for impact.But it never came.

"Get out of the road, idiot!" He heard the honking of multiple cars as he reopened his eyes and found himself standing in the middle of the road holding up traffic.

"Can't even kill myself right!" He said as he screamed to the sky feeling defeated.

Allowing his nostrils to flare, he made his way back to campus and walked up to his dorm room. Zayn was standing there with his arm folded tightly.

"I saw that!" He said

"Saw what?" Louis asked genuinely confused.

"Oh, I don't know...you trying to jump out in front of traffic on campus." He retorted harshly. "What's wrong? Do I need to call your Mother?"

"No...no...it was an accident!" Louis lied. "I got caught up in my thoughts."

"I don't believe you," Zayn bitterly stated.

"Why would I kill myself when Harry invited us to a party tomorrow?" Louis asked trying to change the subject. He knew Zayn loved parties. "Your favorite things will be there: music, video games, drinking, women..."

Suddenly, Zayn allowed a smile to form as he felt his body loosen up tension. "Where?"

"Some guy named Ed has an apartment near campus. We're going to meet Harry and his roommates and walk to it," Louis said as he scratched his shoulder, trying to calm his nerves. "I mean if you're up for it..."

"Are YOU up for it?" Zayn questioned concerned.

"Well I did make a fool of myself again today in front of him. I just need to redeem myself; show him I can be fun," Louis logically said.

"Agreed. You've been pretty...intense and a downer lately." Zayn laughed.

"Hey!" Louis defended himself.

"Truth hurts, bro. Now let's go eat. I can hear your stomach from here."Knowing that Zayn would murder him if he didn't, he tagged along down to the cafeteria. He ordered a ceasar salad with dressing on the side and a water.

Putting the food into his mouth, he felt both guilty and satisfied. His body longed to eat but the voice in his head told him he was doing something wrong. However, he tried to keep up with Zayn's small talk and jokes.

From a distance they could hear light strums coming from an acoustic guitar. Their eyes darted around the room until they located the source. They could see a blonde guy with blue eyes serenading a woman."That is so going to work!" Zayn squealed.

"Yeah, look at her. She's in a trance'' Louis giggled. Suddenly, he saw someone familiar behind the blonde boy.

He felt his face turn red as he realized it was Harry. He turned his back in hopes Harry couldn't see him. After today, he knew he couldn't face him at the moment; he had to save his energy and pride for the party.He looked back one more time at the perfect physique and bit his lip. No matter what he didn't know, he knew this man deserved to be lusted after.

"Zayn, am I attractive?" Louis asked shyly. "If I serenaded a girl with a guitar, would she fall for it?"

"Well, I think you are attractive Louis for a guy. Do you want to know what would make you more appealing?" Zayn question as Louis nodded. "Confidence. Assert yourself. If you see a girl you want, or maybe even a guy...." Zayn shifted his eyes toward Harry. "Just look them in the eyes. You'll seduce them. You'll see..." Zayn shifted his food around in his plate.

"Thanks man," Louis said blushing. "You're always my number one."

"Likewise."
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Authors Note: I️ think I️ may write this fic from Zayns point of view as well to get more insight.

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