Torchwood Is My Home (A Janto Fanfic)

Chapter 52 - October

A/N: The song is called So Close, I personally prefer the version by John Barrowman & Jodie Prenger. I have added a Youtube video of the song.

Ianto’s POV

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Tears spill from my eyes. That name... Boe

It means so much to me, yet I can’t quite remember why.

And he’s leaving me. For a reason that I also don’t remember.

I don’t want him to go. Even when he was crying by my bedside, I could feel how much he loved me. But I suppose he doesn’t any more. And I will just have to live with that.

A song comes on the hospital radio. It was going to be our first dance.

You're in my arms, and all the world is calm.

The music playing on for only two.

So close, together.

And when I'm with you

So close, to feeling alive.

A life goes by,

Romantic dreams must die.

So I bid my goodbye

And never knew.

So close, was waiting,

Waiting here with you.

And now, forever, I know

All that I wanted

to hold you so close.

So close to reaching

That famous happy end.

Almost believing

This one's not pretend.

And now you're beside me,

And look how far we've come.

So far we are. So close...

Oh how could I face the faceless days

If I should lose you now?

We're so close to reaching

that famous happy end,

And almost believing,

this one's not pretend.

Let's go on dreaming

for we know we are...

so close, so close

and still so far...

Everything comes rushing back. It’s like someone opened a pair of flood-gates, a whoosh of thoughts and memories like water filling every crevice of my empty mind.

I re-read the letter and start bawling. He’s... He’s really going. He believes that he has ruined my life. I fumble through the bag of my belongings and pull out my mobile. I’m not allowed to call in here but I have full signal, so I don’t care.

I punch in Jack’s personal number and hit the green button.

Dialtone... Dialtone... A mechanical splutter as he picks up the phone.

“Jack!” I almost shout.

His voice is laced with cracks, so I know he’s been crying. “I’m sorry Ianto, I just want the best for you. You can’t remember me, so I should fade away while I still can. Just another footprint on the beach of lost memories.”

“I-I can remember...” I whimper, trying not to cry.

“I don’t believe you. You just want to stay with me.” Jack’s voice has grown steely now and I know that I’m losing him.

“You took me to Torchwood Four, Jack.” I cry, “Do I really mean that little to you?”

I hear a sharp intake of breath on the end of the line.

“Ianto, it would be best if we stayed apart. Not just for now, for forever. Pretend that I never existed.”

“But I love you.” I choke out, only to realize that the line is already dead. He hung up on me. I curl up and start crying. I rip all the wires off my chest, get my clothes on and walk out of the hospital. I find a self-discharge form and sign it, putting it on my bed.

There’s only one person I can call now. I reluctantly dial his number and wait for him to pick up the phone.

“Hello Ianto?” his voice sounds strange over the phone.

“Hi John. I need help.” And then the sobbing starts.